Bosiell Posted September 20, 2007 Posted September 20, 2007 I have read thru many heartwrenching stories on these forums. Doesn't it make you wonder why we many have to go through this, why can love be so wonderfull yet so scary and when its gone, oh so painful?! I am writing of my recent experience, a very recent one, an oh so incredible one but subsequently completely heartbreaking to me. I am posting this not so much for advice but to hear if anyone has had similar experience. All I have ever wanted to do was to fall in love, to be loved and to give someone my world, treat them like an angel. We all have our hard look stories I know, but I feel like I am of those "unlucky in love" people, it never quite happend to me, sometimes be it was my own fault, which I have truly learned from. Anyway I had become quite despondant with relationships, had the attitude of what the hell I dont care anymore. But deep down I felt empty , I knew had so much to give someone. So I made one more effort, bucked my ideas up. And then I met her! It wasnt love at 1st sight, no white horses. But I felt something straight away, but I was naturally wary, played it cool, didnt get carried away. Our first date was so good, got on so well. From then on it was like a dream to me, so exciting, passionate, she was like no one I had ever met before. It was as if someone had given me a drug, I was high from the start, felt so lucky. I had deserved this, at last! I am not going to make a mess of this relationship. I am going to show her what a great guy I am, and i know she will love me for it. I got carried away with my emotions, couldnt help but think about all the good times we were going to share. I had to pinch myself. It was the best and happiest 4 months of my life. But alas no. Less than a fortnight ago on a night I will forever remember. She told me that the spark had gone for her and it would be best to end it. It was completely out of the blue, I was shattered, I knew then my life, my dreams, my happiness had been buried. I cried like I never had before. Although the relationship was short, to me it was the most intense I have ever had, not one that has petered out after several months and the breakup somewhat understood.. I to this day still cannot understand how something so great can end so abruptly, its so hard to take. That drug I had been given had been taken away without warning. From one amazing high to one soul destroying low. Hence my title. The candle that burns twice as bright lasts half as long. I know I will never forget her, but remembering the time I spent with her and that it will never happen again hurts like hell. I have tried to reason with her, to show how much I miss her, but as ever with these situations it just makes her colder. I am now at the NC stage, just dying for that phone to ring, but deep down I know it wont. I miss her like crazy. My God love can so hurt. Please someone build me a time machine, make me a love potion, find me a magic lamp. I would do anything to have her back in my life. Bosiell x
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