i'm afraid i'll have other relationship like this..=(

[Pancakes]

I've had an on and off relationship with this guy for four years, he's dumped me twice and now our friends with benefits relationship has ended. I wish it hadn't ended though..

 

He was in my language arts a class few years back although I never really noticed him in there. I heard from a friend that he thought I was cute, but I have low self-confidence, and thinking it was a lie I just brushed it off as a mean joke. Awhile after he started talking to me and eventually we became good friends and dated. A year after that he broke up with me but we still kept contact online and sometimes phone. I was sad but got over it.

 

Later that year there was a civil war reenactment and it was also extra credit for school to go there. Well when he found out about it he asked to hang out with me there since I was going to, I agreed and met him there. It was really fun it was so nice seeing him again I realized how much I missed him.

 

Awhile after that I learned he and his girlfriend broke up and oddly enough he asked me out again. I was so happy he asked me out I said yes without thinking. It went pretty good for awhile and I started liking him more, He dumped me though.. Again..

 

After that I decided not to be friends with him anymore since this time it really did make me depressed so we stopped talking. Eventually through the help of my friends I got over him, but not completely.

 

Well high school started and as luck would have it he was in my 3rd period and I saw him in the morning, at lunch, between most classes, and while going to my bus. He also sat right behind me to since we where placed in alphabetical order. I was a little sad about it but didn't think much about it.

 

Near the end of class one day he gave me a note before the bell wrung, it said that he wanted to be friends with me again and he was sorry for being such an a** to me before. I was so happy and told him I'd love to... I'm pretty sure that was a big mistake.

 

We started talking more and more, he hung around me allot then hung out with me. Eventually he started getting a bit physical and I just went along with it. We even joined an after school club, although It was for "other" purposes.. He knew I wouldn't go out with him again so we just became friends with benefits. I started liking him a lot more than I did, I knew it wouldn't last though it's the 3rd time we've had a relationship. I was so hoping it would though.

 

School ended and a couple weeks into the summer he called me and we talked on the phone a lot then online pretty much everyday and I missed him more and more. School started about a month ago and I was so happy to see him and he seem happy to see me to.

 

After about a week he didn't call or talk to me online but I just thought he was busy or something. He started to hang around me less to and seemed to be bothered by my presence. He also started to get really close to other girls but I mean we weren't going out so it's not like it was wrong.

 

I finally realized he had no interest in me anymore. I was just a waste of his time, so I wrote him a note saying that I didn't think we should be friends anymore since I obviously wasn't worth his time. I really regret it though, I know he'd stop liking me eventually but I'm sad that I ended it. I miss him so much. He moved on pretty easily it looks, but I feel horrible and I've cried a lot over it.

 

I know high school relationships rarely work out but I was just hopeful. I tried so hard to keep it, I don't know how I could have been any nicer to him. I've had to made a mistake somewhere I just don't know where or how.

 

I'll be out of high school in a couple years and one of my biggest dreams is to get married so ill have someone to share life with and not be alone. I don't know many guys who want a relationship to actually like someone, they seem to just be based on hormones.. If their like this now will they be like that in the future or grow out of it?

 

I'm just really sad, I'm afraid if I get in another relationship it'll just end up as bad as this one did. I don't know how to handle relationships. Being alone is just to hard though. Sorry it's so long I tryed to shorten it. Messed up part of the title to.

[Allison85]

I really wouldn't worry about it, I know that it is really hard to look or see past where you are right now but I guarantee you that things get better. It's also hard to believe that with all the pain that you are in at the moment. Believe me, you will move on faster than you think. You don't want to be with a guy that only seems to want to be your friend when it's conveinient for him. We have all been there girly!! High school is a tough time for dating, it can be really rough and I am not going to promise you that things get easier but they do get clearer. As hard as it is, just forget about him, enjoy highschool because it really is one of the funnest times of your life. Have fun with your friends and trust me when I say that someone new will come along in no time!! I know it seems hopeless at the moment but honestly, once you meet that new guy that makes you feel like you are the most important thing in the world... you will look back and realized how silly it was to be so upset over this one. I promise Hang in there!

[Spinderella]

oh bless you. you are only young and need to learn to think more highly of yourself before having another relationship. an unfortunate fact is that men will mostly be happy with a physical relationship if it is offered to them and can continue like that without getting emotionally involved. if you want more, then you have to demand more from the outset, ok, not demand more, but set the standards for your own relationship.

you did give yourself too easily to him, but dont beat yourself up over it. many women far older than you, myself included have made the same mistake, sometimes several times.

what you have to realise is that you really are worth a great relationship with a great guy. even if you dont think it, just convince yourself that you do think it, and act as though you do. eventually it will come.

be happy that you hve had this experience to learn from so that when that next guy comes along, who will be so much better, you will know exactly how to handle relationships.

theres nothing more attractive than a woman who knows what she wants in a relationship and expects it, so work on that, and you will see your self esteem begin to blossom in that area.

[Pancakes]

Thanks! Your replys really helped. I'll try to work on my self confidence.

[Lizzie60]

puppy loves are strong and they hurt a lot when they end.

 

I say you need to work a LOT on yourself... pllllease get stronger... you got to...otherwise men will hurt you so much all your life.

 

Men are attracted to independant, strong women... clingy, depressed, insecure girls/women are a huge turn-off for them.

 

So you definitely need to move on, forget about him...DO NOT see him again... ever.

 

He's not worth your energy or your time... concentrate on getting stronger and more confident... trust me that in itself will be a HUGE investment in yourself... with enormous 'returns'... trust me on that one.

 

Good luck!

 

Oh btw.. your avatar is sooo small and sooo cute.