What do i do if she contacts me?

[Jmina]

My ex and i have been in complete NC for about 4 or 5 weeks.

 

I've been reading a few posts where some of you guys have said that after a period of no contact and them seeing that you have "moved on" they contact you.

 

So i thought, what would i do if she contacted me?... I'm starting to show the world that i'm moving on. I'm finding more happiness,smiling more, singing again, enjoying things again,enjoying work, going out again. Just trying to enjoy myself. (i must admit though at night time i still pine and cry a lot. just yesterday morning i woke up and sobbed in the darkness before daylight. but i dont want her or any of her friends to know that)

 

if she texted me with something, should i reply? or wait till the next day then reply? or not reply at all? should i keep it very short and to the point? if she asks how i am what response should i give?

 

i want her in my life again somehow. i at least want to be able to just see how shes going on occasion i really truly will always love her and she will always be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

please help me with what i should do when/if she contacts me.

 

thanks

 

jmina

[Spinderella]

as long as you are honest with yourself and know where you are coming from i think it depends. it doesnt sound as though you are ready yet because you are still crying. only answer her if you no longer feel that you care about these things. i think it takes a while to get to that stage, but its not impossible to get there. i think, just dont reply. if you do you will only be dissatisfied with whatever response or lack thereof that you get. this will just bring you back to square one.

[Jmina]

I definetely know that i'm not ready for her to contact me...

 

but i don't want her to think that i'm ignoring her out of anger or bitterness either because thats not the case.

 

so i want to be able to stay in no contact but without it leading to any bitterness on her side because then one day when i am over it all and am ready to see how she is she might not want to because i ignored her now.. and im well aware that one day when i am over it all you might think that i probably wont want to see hows shes doing...but i know in my heart now and since the day that i met her that i will always care. and ill always be there for her no matter what.

 

what if she just msgs me something like "dog is doing well i will send some photos soon" (as i asked her to send me photos of him as he grows)

 

sorry if i sound so clueless to this now, but if anyone has been there and done it they might have advice to what to do... i want to be prepared incase it happens?

 

jmina

 

thanks.

[Spinderella]

i think anyone with any sense knows that the person they dumped requires some time to get over the break up. it doesnt matter what she thinks at this stage. if you want to be a good friend to anybody then you need to be happy and healed first. the question is, why are you so anxious about what she thinks of you? you are not thinking straight about this because you are not yet over her. this is no time to be thinking about the messages you are giving out and lets face it, most people when they dump someone expect that the dumpee will be angry or bitter. it really is not important. what is important is just focussing on how you feel and getting yourself to a better place. i personally dont think there is anything wrong with saying to someone "hey, i need some time to heal from this". it shows that you care about yourself, which is a good thing. either say it verbally or say it by not responding, it makes no difference. i just think not responding is the better way to say it for YOU.

[Jmina]

ok thanks.

[Curious139]

Everyone is different. The problem with contact is it refreshes the wounds and raises hopes so that you relive the pain. It is awful.

 

If she contacts you I suggest you either don't reply or send her a simple answer saying you need some time to heal and will be in touch when you are better.