ijustwannago Posted September 20, 2007 Posted September 20, 2007 i'm in this strange detached (sorry spelling) fog so i can somewhat operate and function. now that i'm not so emotional, i'm really glad that i said, "i don't love you and don't ever call me". frankly you guys i don't have anything nice to say to him. it' a trip how you can go from being so in love with a person to having no respect for them. whoa. not to sure how i'll be thinking in the morning, but at this moment that is the last person i want to hear from. did that happen to any of you? jeese what ever it take to get me out my room. how are you doig?
Diplok Posted September 20, 2007 Posted September 20, 2007 Good job on saying that. But If he ever calls again, don't even show him anger. Anger is still emotion. Pick up the phone and make sure to end the conversation within the first 2 minutes. If you don't feel like picking up, let it go to voicemail, let him wonder where you are at and who you are with.
Dawg88 Posted September 20, 2007 Posted September 20, 2007 Sorry to hear ab.out how you feel. Maybe you can share your perspective for some of us guys who are on the outside looking in like your ex. My ex-girlfriend said the exact same thing to me that you did to your ex. She is bitter, hostile, and she wants no part of me. Perhaps you can help us understand how I woman thinks in a situation like this. Do you think this feeling is something you will hold onto forever, and not let him back into your life, or will there come a time, and maybe you can give us a timeframe, when you may want to consider contacting him again.
Author ijustwannago Posted September 21, 2007 Author Posted September 21, 2007 oh yeah that's the post best ever! thank you that helps. i woke up today and still felt the same. the zombie thing is finally starting to wane. it's not to say that things don't pop into my mind that i'd like to share with him. it's not to say that i don't have a flood of memories, smells, sensations, dreams. i see how great we were and how things could have been forever. it is what it is. lucky for me he lives 3500 miles away so i don't suffer the same way that you guys do, seeing them sometimes on the way to work or getting groceries. whats hard is that he lives in my home state. without excuse i accept my responsibility. (no i did not cheat!) he took the easy way out and i opted not to sit through another one of his 'why i'm not good enough for him' berating hurtfull conversations. it's gone, done. it is what it is. lucky for me he lives 3500 miles away so i don't suffer the same way that you guys do, seeing them sometimes on the way to work or getting groceries. whats hard is that he lives in my home state. to clarify we have years of history like a decade, we got back together he had moved we had LDR i moved there, but moved back for family reasons. recently three weks ago, he came to visit..he is a dj. at the end of one of his gigs he attempted to leave me standing in a bar. that was the second. we all have that second when you can keep loving them, or not. i told him to come to my house and pick up his things. NO not tomorrow, RIGHT NOW. he wanted to talk to me tomorrow. uhuh. the last thing i said to him (face to face) "no don't call me tomorrow, the time for you have words for me has passed and you missed it. just go." it was spooky, i was calm, didn't cry, raise or my voice even though i was shocked as hell. then i let went to my bestfriends house had three shots of jagger and cried like i did when my first pet died. after all the time and memories that we shared, i will love him for the rest of my life. he will never have my respect, time or effort ever again (with exception to my breakup time. god knows how long this will take). friends later, unlikely. that was the second chance he had. he is friends with most of his other exes. not me. huh, i think i might be in that p'ed off stage. cool i think this is better, but it sure is draining. at least i didn't stay in bed all day...again.
Author ijustwannago Posted September 21, 2007 Author Posted September 21, 2007 thanks so much for your encouragement. i hope to god that i don't stay angry. i really don't want to become the ice queen. i'm a soft caring person, or at least i was...
Jmina Posted September 21, 2007 Posted September 21, 2007 One person can only do their best at any time. If they had a better or greater understanding and knowledge they would do different. this helps me find peace with my ex. all i have to offer now is forgiveness.
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