Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 21, 2007 Author Posted September 21, 2007 Two questions. 1. How well does he listen to you? And I mean really listen not just nod his head. 2. How assertive is he? 1. Very well, looks at me while I'm talking to him. (while he was driving wanted me to know he was listening, but wasn't looking cause he was watching the road - I joked and said I preferred he watched the road lol) Asks questions and follows up later on asks how things went with whatever we had been talking about. 2. Very (well a little too much at first but calmed down). He does the calling, makes date plans (the day anyway and we both thing of what to do). He is a touchy person as well which I like, though not as much when we were making out which was kinda strange. Maybe he needs me to show him what I like, that I like an assertive man. Also maybe I made him a little nervous to make a move because I wasn't ready at first, still not for sex so he could be nervous in case I think he is going to try make a move to have sex or something.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 21, 2007 Author Posted September 21, 2007 I'm very surprised if he treats you in that fashion (like a queen) , if you take him aside and give him a subtle lesson on 'don't do it so much like this but instead try this and THIS!' so between the next date thinking it over and over and completely wild eyed into putting it into practice or at least aiming to please. Honestly if he's not lighting a 5 Alarm fire inside you 'right now!', from the way it seems he may just put the fire that exists at this point out when he decides to use his hose. By treating me like a queen I meant opens doors, wants to pay for things (but will let me if I say I will pay for mine), makes sure I'm not cold or asks if I want more to drink or need anything, if I trip or something like that makes sure I am ok. I wasn't taking about sexually because we haven't had experience much physically yet and not at all with sex. If he responds to when we talk about what we like and does I say I like then I am sure that it's going to be hot in these jeans.
Cobra_X30 Posted September 21, 2007 Posted September 21, 2007 1. Very well, looks at me while I'm talking to him. (while he was driving wanted me to know he was listening, but wasn't looking cause he was watching the road - I joked and said I preferred he watched the road lol) Asks questions and follows up later on asks how things went with whatever we had been talking about. 2. Very (well a little too much at first but calmed down). He does the calling, makes date plans (the day anyway and we both thing of what to do). He is a touchy person as well which I like, though not as much when we were making out which was kinda strange. Maybe he needs me to show him what I like, that I like an assertive man. Also maybe I made him a little nervous to make a move because I wasn't ready at first, still not for sex so he could be nervous in case I think he is going to try make a move to have sex or something. It sounds as though your original thought is correct and that this is your own internal issue. Make sure that you are not holding back becuase he seems too good. Sometimes when your experiences have not been that great in the past you sit around waiting for the bubble to burst. I will keep an eye on this post. Your issue is very interesting!
Replicant Posted September 21, 2007 Posted September 21, 2007 By treating me like a queen I meant opens doors, wants to pay for things (but will let me if I say I will pay for mine), makes sure I'm not cold or asks if I want more to drink or need anything, if I trip or something like that makes sure I am ok. I wasn't taking about sexually because we haven't had experience much physically yet and not at all with sex. If he responds to when we talk about what we like and does I say I like then I am sure that it's going to be hot in these jeans. Yes of course, but i think it also applies to the physical such as kissing at this point. Where as i see assertive as initiating and doing that well without being clingy and obnoxious about it. My comment was based on if you spoke to him, and him thinking on it after the fact...it's strange why he did not listen if he is very in tune to the goings on around him on any date. It's quite possible it's his nature to be more passive? He doesn't sound that assertive to me at least in the physical aspect and that may be why you are questioning this? In the sense of will he change and such? Even if he was not would you be willing to live with it even if he stayed on the same level of his personality/person minus the physical contact level you would desire?
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 21, 2007 Author Posted September 21, 2007 Yes of course, but i think it also applies to the physical such as kissing at this point. Where as i see assertive as initiating and doing that well without being clingy and obnoxious about it. My comment was based on if you spoke to him, and him thinking on it after the fact...it's strange why he did not listen if he is very in tune to the goings on around him on any date. It's quite possible it's his nature to be more passive? He doesn't sound that assertive to me at least in the physical aspect and that may be why you are questioning this? In the sense of will he change and such? Even if he was not would you be willing to live with it even if he stayed on the same level of his personality/person minus the physical contact level you would desire? I haven't had the conversation with him yet, the first time we made out I said something like what about this way and showed him how I like to kiss. But I haven't had the telling him what I like or sharing what each other likes conversation yet.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 21, 2007 Author Posted September 21, 2007 It sounds as though your original thought is correct and that this is your own internal issue. Make sure that you are not holding back because he seems too good. Sometimes when your experiences have not been that great in the past you sit around waiting for the bubble to burst. I will keep an eye on this post. Your issue is very interesting! I have been leaning towards it being me lately too. That I am resisting for a reason I haven't figured out and if I just relax and let myself soak it in I will be relieved and happy. But I guess I have to figure out why I am resisting first, which I dunno. Though it could be that he seems too good to be true and I am waiting for him to prove me right. All of the guys I have dated haven't been half of what he is and were always too good to be true ... I will keep you posted, I see him tomorrow night. Depending on what we do I may or may not be able to have the what we like physically conversation. Not sure if it's restaurant talk! LOL Well I don't care but not sure if anyone around us wants to over hear (while they are eating!)
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