4givrnt4gtr Posted September 20, 2007 Posted September 20, 2007 So my adorable man.... Been with him for three months, he's sweet, hilarious, etc. However, there is one thing that makes me scratch my head a bit. Most women worry about how men say sweet things to them, like I love you, and I want to be with you but act the exact opposite. FOr me, is the other way around. He seems to hint that he doesnt want anything too serious, yet he does things that contradicts what he says. I try hard not too look into those things...but its almost impossible. The first thing was that he gave me this sort of bracelet thing after maybe a month of dating. I thought it cute, nothing out of the ordinary with the exception he got one too only another color. (so elementary school i know but bear with me). So one day i didnt wear it, and he asked me where it was. I said i forgot it and he said he never takes his off......after that he always ALWAYS looks at my hand to see if im wearing it to the point that its almost like a badge...or something. Then, he constantly says im his baby, pulls me really tight, like he's afraid to let me go...it leaves me confused, since he is always saying he loves his freedom and being single. He always makes sure i know he isnt seeing anyone but me, and wants to know if im interested in anyone else. A few weeks ago we had a conversation where we bassically said we arent dating anyone else nor do we want to...but could this be considered exclusivity although we never said "were exclusive'? ..and no, I dont want to ask him. ..and then, whenever i see him he always has this...look...and just, i dont know..gives me this feeling that he likes me a lot... ...but he never tells me. As in, he never verbally lets me know what he is feeling, he just shows it.... Today he told me that he used to get carried away, but now he is "in control"....i asked him what he meant by that, carried away with his feelings? and he said "nah...im cold"....(if thats cold, i dont want to know whats hot!) . So...my question is... How do it take his actions? I loved them, dont get me wrong, but im wondering if im overanalyzing them. its hard though, not to take them the way i want to take them...I love the feeling of being wanted and cherished and even...ok, liked alot (to avoid the L word), but it contradicts his "cool" talk. What should i listen to, his actions or his words???
amber1 Posted September 20, 2007 Posted September 20, 2007 Usually when they say they don't want a relationship they are just looking for someone else that they like more to come along, then they end up actually getting into a relationship with that person. Maybe he wants to keep you around for sex and doesn't want to actually be in a relationship with you, so he is doing "sweet" things to make you stick around.
Trialbyfire Posted September 20, 2007 Posted September 20, 2007 Please reread what you just wrote. You're here because you don't want to clarify anything with him. The only person who can answer your questions is the guy you're seeing. We can only guess based on one perception, which is yours, which is biased by what you want to hear. My interpretation of "don't judge by his words, judge by his actions" would be that it's his big actions that define where he stands. He will want to commit to you and only you. He will be consistent, in his affection and not want to stray. The little actions of affection, gifts, etc., aren't indicative of who he is. Best to clarify directly with him, whether he's willing to be exclusive or not and how he feels about you.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted September 21, 2007 Author Posted September 21, 2007 hm its funny, i get what you both say, and if i were told what im telling you guys id say the same thing... .....but im gonna go with my gut this time....not my "been burned" heart.... Which is the one asking these silly questions. thanks for the advice though
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