noitca_rac Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 I'm currently dating a woman over three years now and we have decided to move in together. We want to buy a house but due to financial constraints, we can't get JUST yet so we're going to move in with her parents ( actually she lives with them now ) for a short period. My problem is that 3 out of 4 occupants in the house SMOKE! :sick:Now me being a non-smoker, it's kinda bothersome of course. I told my GF about the problem and she was quite understanding as to where I come from but still wants me to move in. She says she wants to talk to her parents and brother and see if she can find a solution. I told her that it's not going to work cause "IT'S THEIR HOUSE AND THEY'LL DO WHAT THEY LIKE!!" It's nice enough to let me stay with them but to tell them what to do in "THEIR OWN HOUSE" is ludicris!! Don't want to hurt my relationship with her parents and me cause we get along really well. REALLY IN A BIND!! ANY HELP WILL BE APPRECIATED!!
curiousnycgirl Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 You are 100% correct - it is absurd to expect them not to smoke in their own home. I suggest you hold off moving in until you two can afford a place of your own. If she can't understand that, and it hurts the relationship - then it was not meant to be.
Author noitca_rac Posted September 19, 2007 Author Posted September 19, 2007 You are 100% correct - it is absurd to expect them not to smoke in their own home. I suggest you hold off moving in until you two can afford a place of your own. If she can't understand that, and it hurts the relationship - then it was not meant to be. THAT'S WHAT I KEEP TELLING HER!! IT'S ABSURD!! Yet she still wants me to try?? I just don't know.........
LoveLace Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 Even if her family is nice enough to willingly and without hesitation, swear to take all their smoking outside just for you, it's still not a solution that makes everyone happy because you'd be feeling uncomfortable about them going out of their way just to accomodate you. Any way you and your GF can afford just an apartment until your able to get a house? Instead of trying to force you into this situation, your GF should try to help you come up with another compromise of some kind...good luck
Lauriebell82 Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 I agree with the other posters that you need to find an alternate solution. Be straight with her and tell her (in a nice way) that you do want to live with her but the smoking makes you uncomfortable and you don't want to live in that kind of environment. Do you have the option of moving into an apartment in the meantime? You could get a low rent apartment and split he expenses AND be able to save for a house as well. It may take a little longer but at least you will be together. Also, do you really want to move in with her to her parents house? I'd think that may be a weird and uncomfortable situation. (No offense to those who do live with parents).
Author noitca_rac Posted September 20, 2007 Author Posted September 20, 2007 Well she had her talk with her parents and brother and the conclusion is that they will smoke outside. Her mom said that she didn't like the smoking in the house anyway and that me saying something has finally pushed her to take a final stand!! I still feel really bad about the situation and Im just at a "CROSSROADS!"
Author noitca_rac Posted May 25, 2010 Author Posted May 25, 2010 I ended up getting caught cheating on her, so she kicked me out of her parents house and told my family all about it. No worries about the smoking now!
TaraMaiden Posted May 25, 2010 Posted May 25, 2010 Car_Action, I hope your cheating-partner is a non smoker. It makes it so much healthier. Petrol head. figures......
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