sb129 Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 One thing I learned while dating....women want men who are confident and fun to be with. They want men who will listen and converse. They want a compassionate man who will be their friend and partner. They are not looking for Fabio or Brad Pitt. While they admire these "handsome" men, this is not what they use as a measure for their dates. They like to be treated special, and they will respond. Simply become friends with women and see where it leads. Expect little. Enjoy much. Wonderful post JamesM, i couldn't agree more. My BF is my best buddy first and foremost, we have a laugh, we enjoy eachothers company, we share things, we confide in eachother and respect and value eachothers opinions. He is the most important person in my life, and he is not Brad Pitt or Fabio, he is an ordinary guy, who, to me, is gorgeous.
Touche Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 Great post, Mz. Pixie. And you pretty much described my sister who is almost 45 and never been married. Just to give you an example of where her head is: When I was dating my H, she asked me all about him including his food preferences. I told her that he was just a meat and potatoes man. I mean he was raised in the South and my sister and I were raised completely different. Anyhow, she said "Wow, how can you be with a man like that? I never could!" She asked it like he once murdered someone! Sheesh!
Trialbyfire Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 Hey, what's wrong with wanting a guy with a great car? Performance is everything.
melodymatters Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 Great post, Mz. Pixie. And you pretty much described my sister who is almost 45 and never been married. Just to give you an example of where her head is: When I was dating my H, she asked me all about him including his food preferences. I told her that he was just a meat and potatoes man. I mean he was raised in the South and my sister and I were raised completely different. Anyhow, she said "Wow, how can you be with a man like that? I never could!" She asked it like he once murdered someone! Sheesh! That' funny Touche ! There was a poster here who came up with the term " wall of preferences" for people who had dealbreakers like your sisters. Yeah, I don't care what you eat, drive, what kind of music you listen to. Two of my deal breakers are overweight men, just can't find flab attractive, and young children. Been there, done that, and because little "jo jo" is only three, mom and dad have to talk 10 times a day and act like he's the baby jesus. But even that goes back to the "equals attract" premise, as I'm slender and in shape and have a self sufficient 14 yr old with a dead father !
soulseeker Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 I appologize if this is out of line, but... DA I have read many of your posts. You come across as someone who needs a lot of help. You think way too much. You need to relax. You focus on things that dont matter. Or shouldnt with perspective. Seems like you put a lot of pressure on yourself too. Sheesh. You would do well with talking to a professional. I dont think you will find anyone you would consider worth having until you figure yourself out. Anyone who has themselves together would not put up with your bs. Yes, we all have issues, but honestly, yours seem out of proportion. Can you not see this? Sorry to be blunt, but something needs to change for you.
sweetbutcheeky Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 I know that must be a horrible feeling, that will be me soon as I approach the age of 40. still 8 years left but i'm not sure if I can ever do that. I mean i don't want to be with a woman just to say I have someone. I hope it never comes to that because that would really be depressing Maybe your standards are too high? If your looking for a perfect woman your never going to find her (no man or woman is perfect) and feel like your going to have to lower your standards.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted September 19, 2007 Author Posted September 19, 2007 Maybe your standards are too high? If your looking for a perfect woman your never going to find her (no man or woman is perfect) and feel like your going to have to lower your standards. I don't consider wanting a woman with a cute face, cute hands, and feet PERFECT.
Trialbyfire Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 I don't consider wanting a woman with a cute face, cute hands, and feet PERFECT. Why don't you go for a girl with a cute personality instead?
Mustang Sally Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 I consider myself a 7.5 and look for a 7.5 or sometimes a 8.0. I don;t want to start accepting 6.0's or lower. But i think my personality as been a 4.0 which gave me a overall 5.5 rating. I need to work on my personality so that it can be as even or slightly higher than my looks Please describe this, uh, "Ratings System." I'm serious. I want to see the randomized-controlled-trial-validated, independently verified, objective criteria. Thanks much.
sweetbutcheeky Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 I don't consider wanting a woman with a cute face, cute hands, and feet PERFECT. Hopefully your new date has feet. Seriously though that's not a big list and I find it hard to believe you can't find someone if that's all your looking for. Though I did notice they are all physical, nothing to do with who she is as a person.
Art_Critic Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 I definitely married up !!.. but it wasn't on purpose or a standard.. We just hit it off.. I was lucky.. still am...
justme880 Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 No, don't lower your standards... but don't be super picky either. I'm sure the right person will come along. Cheers!
reboot Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 I think I lowered my standards by reading this thread.
Mz. Pixie Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 Great post, Mz. Pixie. And you pretty much described my sister who is almost 45 and never been married. Just to give you an example of where her head is: When I was dating my H, she asked me all about him including his food preferences. I told her that he was just a meat and potatoes man. I mean he was raised in the South and my sister and I were raised completely different. Anyhow, she said "Wow, how can you be with a man like that? I never could!" She asked it like he once murdered someone! Sheesh! Yes, I know what you mean. She had a few dates with a seemingly nice guy who managed a retail store- but he didn't have enough money for her so she dumped him. Cute hands, feet and face is not really all that much to ask for, IMO. However you need to look beyond that. When I first met my H he'd not shaven that day and was a little ragged looking but after we talked on the phone a bit I found I liked his personality and the things that were important to him were important to me. Then we had our technical first date and he looked completely different and yummy. If I would have just cut him off and not talked to him because he looked ragged that day, then I would have lost out on a true gem.
Lizzie60 Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 I have to agree with Road Rage... If you're not handsome then you GOT to be rich... then you'll have all the babes you want... and this IS true my friend... just look at D. Trump.. H. Hepner.. Pierre Péladeau (I think he was the ugliest man with the most beautiful women)... it works everytime... that's why I gave you this advice earlier: Do not forget your wallet and stack a load of 100 $ bills in it ...
Art_Critic Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 If you're not handsome then you GOT to be rich... then you'll have all the babes you want... You just have to have game.. it doesn't have to be money.. just something that a woman wants and would keep her interest.. GAME....
Touche Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 Yes, I know what you mean. She had a few dates with a seemingly nice guy who managed a retail store- but he didn't have enough money for her so she dumped him. Cute hands, feet and face is not really all that much to ask for, IMO. However you need to look beyond that. When I first met my H he'd not shaven that day and was a little ragged looking but after we talked on the phone a bit I found I liked his personality and the things that were important to him were important to me. Then we had our technical first date and he looked completely different and yummy. If I would have just cut him off and not talked to him because he looked ragged that day, then I would have lost out on a true gem. I understand what you're saying. It's what is in one's heart that counts. Of course there has to be a certain level of physical attraction there but the rest should have to do with REAL things like values, morals, goals, intelligence, sense of humor, honesty, etc. etc. Not the superficial. So f'ing what if my man is a meat and potatoes man? Last night I made lamb for myself (he said I was stinking up the place!) and he had some leftovers that I made. What do I care that his food preferences are different than mine? Yet she would dismiss a man just for that reason alone. Just like you..you looked beyond the superficial. Why are so many people not capable of doing that? They're the ones who end up alone. They have such a huge list of requirements, that it's just ridiculous. Even me, with my list of requirements, didn't stick to them. I vowed I wouldn't get involved with a man who had a child or children..and yet I did. Wow, what a mistake I would have made had I rejected my H for that reason. People who aren't meeting the loves of their loves need to RE-EVALUATE their requirements..not lower their standards. Did I think I was lowering my standards when I started dating my H even though he had a kid? NO. I was just being more realistic in my standards. After all, I was 33 at that point..what were the chances that I was going to meet a man who DIDN'T have a past or a child/children. Pretty slim. And I wasn't interested in a younger man. So there I was having to re-evaluate my standards. But I never really saw that as LOWERING them. Like I said, there IS a difference. I was just trying to be more realistic at that point in my life.
Krytellan Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 Hopefully your new date has feet. Seriously though that's not a big list and I find it hard to believe you can't find someone if that's all your looking for. Though I did notice they are all physical, nothing to do with who she is as a person. But that's not the whole list. If she had these things and... parted her hair funny, she's out... laughed weird, she's out... didn't want to make out in the parking lot cuz he bought dinner, she's out. He's lying about his qualifications.
directx Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 I have to agree with Road Rage... If you're not handsome then you GOT to be rich... then you'll have all the babes you want... and this IS true my friend... just look at D. Trump.. H. Hepner.. Pierre Péladeau (I think he was the ugliest man with the most beautiful women)... it works everytime... that's why I gave you this advice earlier: Do not forget your wallet and stack a load of 100 $ bills in it ... I'm going to have to wrap a 100 dollar bill around a wad of ones (or a wad of monopoly money. Maybe that'll work. Otherwise, I'm screwed!)
allina Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 I consider myself a 7.5 and look for a 7.5 or sometimes a 8.0. I don;t want to start accepting 6.0's or lower. But i think my personality as been a 4.0 which gave me a overall 5.5 rating. I need to work on my personality so that it can be as even or slightly higher than my looks Going by what I have seen on LS your personality is one that either gives women the creeps or the giggles (in your expense). How about you quit obsessing with details, ratings and rules and make yourself in to something at least somewhat desirable to converse with.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted September 19, 2007 Author Posted September 19, 2007 I don't consider wanting a woman with a cute face, cute hands, and feet PERFECT. Of course I want a cute personality to go with all that
allina Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 Of course I want a cute personality to go with all that But what are you bringing to the table? No one gets a Rolls Royce for a bag of sh*t and bologna.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted September 19, 2007 Author Posted September 19, 2007 But what are you bringing to the table? No one gets a Rolls Royce for a bag of sh*t and bologna. A Handsome face, Nice Job, stable Financial situation, Great Sense of Humor, Intelligence, my Own place in a Nice neighborhood.
allina Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 A Handsome face, Nice Job, stable Financial situation, Great Sense of Humor, Intelligence, my Own place in a Nice neighborhood. Ok there ya go, because the other side of this (the women) have their own list of standards, it isn't just you picking and choosing. Also, I suggest on adding easy going to that list, I think you need to easy up a bit.
Mustang Sally Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 A Handsome face, Nice Job, stable Financial situation, Great Sense of Humor, Intelligence, my Own place in a Nice neighborhood. Might be debatable..... Just sayin'....
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