zelda579 Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 Do you guys think I should ask my ex for an explanation, sort of like closure of why he asked for a "break?" As much as I would want something to happen with us I can pursue it because he broke my heart and don't want it to happen again. All I want to know is what happened and what his thoughts about the relationship were. It's been 5 months since we broke up and I still feel down. I want to talk to him about this so I can put it behind me and move on. Is it a good idea? How would I start the conversation though? Please help me out guys I would appreciate it. Thanks!
jusschillin Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 IMHO delving into this after you have been out of it 5 months is asking to open up old wounds. What do you intend to achieve from his answers? All you will succeed in doing is feeling bad about yourself especially if you don't like his answers. And to what extend do you believe he will be totally honest with you. He may just give you answers you want to hear or may couch the truth. You have to move on and let it be. I have been on both sides of the cheating game, first I cheated on my husband (worst mistake of my life) and the guy I cheated with is cheating on me and we have two kids. My ex husband never ever turned back once I told him the truth and I always wondered how he could just turn away even if I had hurt him so badly, and never ever asked 1 question. I know I would have a million questions if it were me. But I understand that he did not want to look back and it was easier for him that way. The quickest way to get over it is to never look back even if it hurts to do so. I wish I were you having walked away for 5 months now. Each time I walk away from my current bf I last one week and open my arms to him once he calls and he always does. Trust me, asking the questions will do nothing for you.
CrazyPanda Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 We all/dumpees look for closure in order to move on. The problem here is that it's been 5 months and if you haven't been talking to him since then I believe it would be better off that you leave everything alone. Like justchillin said, it will open up a lot of old wounds again. I asked questions and looked for more closure about 2 weeks after our break up, so everything was still fresh; however, when I heard her answers it felt like we were breaking up all over again and nothing good came to it. I knew it was over and I came to talk to her to hear it all over again. Don't do that to yourself. It still hurts now after 5 months but, you will only be going backwards if you look for answers again.
Author zelda579 Posted September 18, 2007 Author Posted September 18, 2007 Well, we have been talking at campus. After I was the one who told him that I didn't want to talk anymore (no contact) 3 months later we talked at school and asked if we can continue as friends. My response was, "yeah, we'll see what happens," but I guess I should just leave it alone. Thanks for replying!
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