Im suck a punk, I Just can't end it and I hate it!!

[EC]

Aye.. Hey guys..I really really need to vent and I am hurting right now so Im hoping you guys can help me out like before and lend an ear.

 

Well this vent is a continuation to the ones before about my 3 yr relationship. You can read my other posts because If I sit here and re-cap we will be here all day.

 

Well I have spoken of this girl that lives in Canada who is my bf's ex. She was his first everything and about a couple of months ago I found e-mails between her and him and he was flirting with lines saying " I have a girlfriend now but I still think about you all the time..when are we going to meet up " def flirting but the e-mails were from two years ago and i was snooping when I found them so I didnt want to bring them up and get accused of snooping and it had happened so long ago. We have also fought about a fraternity that he joined after saying he would never join one.

Well he did and thats when he started going out late at night saying I couldnt go because it was frat only, then he would call me goodnight everyday of the week except wednesdays. His frat meetings are from 9:00pm-11:00pm. He wont call me wednesdays at night before his meeting and then just texts me at 11:00 with just go out goodnight. I had fought with him over and over on why he couldn't just call me right before the meeting to say goodnight?? We even almost broke up because of all this.

 

So then SUmmer just passed and without the frat and school we have been in heaven! I mean everything was perfect. Trips to the beach, phone calls, texts, flowers almost everyweek, dinners, I mean just perfect.

 

Now school started again and it's all turned to sh*t again. Excuse the language. Again he couldn't call me wednesdays. And when asked he would just say he forgot. THen I got really upset one thursday and told him WTF already? His response: " If the main reason of the wednesday phone call is to hear my voice and for me to say goodnight and I'm busy and I forget why can't you pick up the phone and call me? "

I mean I understand forgetting a few times cuz your busy, but forgetting for months, after arguing about it, almost breaking up about it, and seeing me upset, and still forget??? And then When I call I don't get a pick up!

 

**side note** there is also an ex of mine I reunited with but we dated when we were like 15 and its nothing anymore. Just a nice friendship. Im am really close with his family and from time to time his family invites me over for dinner. I go and my bf gets upset. I even said he could go and he says no that he would feel uncomfortable. So he always gets mad I'm still this persons friend..when just two years ago he was flirting behind my back with his ex?? And I haven't done a damn thing wrong. I even introduced them both so that he would no there was nothing to worry about.**

 

So now we got into a huge fight about the phone calls. He gave me that whack response and got angry and defensive with me and told me he was dropping the subject and didnt want to fight with me anymore. But I wasn't done nothing was fixed?!?

 

Sooo the other day I'm on his computer and I wasn't even snooping this time but I'm on myspace and I go to search a friend of mines whose name starts with an A just like his ex and when I type in the 'A' the history of his searches comes up and sure enough there is his ex's name. Why the need to locate her again afer two years out of the blue?

I confront him and he attcks me with Im friends with my ex and he was just looking for her to see how she was oding and just reunite as friends. WTF? I'm not an idiot?? We fight and things blow up and it ends him mad at me and I'm left like wtf how is he mad at me when I was mad at him? He is good with words and Im left trying to say how I feel but he ends up convincing me I'm wrong. Then I go over last Sunday to try and fix things and he tells me he has to study at 4 but that its at his house and I could chill on the couch watch tv while he studies. So i go over all of a sudden around 3:30pm his phone starts getting texts and he would respond in his room. Then he tells me the plans changed and he had to go study at the library with his friend to do an assignment due before 12pm that he forgot about. So I went home and he didnt leave the library until 10pm. He tells me yesterday at the mall that THIS sunday he has to do that same assignment at the same time with the same friend? I said didn't you do it last sunday? Wasn't it due before 12pm? He answers no the computer was down so I studied for another class while my friend studied something else and then i found out its actually due this sunday before 12pm.

 

So I get angry again and I just broke down crying and he gets mad at me again and defensive saying that i need to trust him and hes doing this for our future that he's just studying and I need to get a grip. He makes me feel so bad and like a bad gf and that Im just jealous or over controlling or something? But I mean hello Im just not an idiott. He also bought a whole new wardrobe of a completely different style and wears cologne to go study at the library.

 

Im so upset and now hes mad at me saying he can't be distracted from school and getting upset over ridiculous things. I just want to tell him I know your wrong admit it!!!! I Love him and I can't break up with him. Im frozen. Today I said I'm not over him looking for his ex he got mad saying I was friends with my ex and that I can't be pulling a double standard, and that hes tired of being accused of being a bad bf when hes nothing but good to me, he tells me all he wants is for me to be happy and that he wants me, loves no one but me, wants no one else, and only sees a future with me. He says hes working so hard for me. and repeats over and over that out of all the good things he does for me he can't believe I only focus on stupid things. He says bottom line hes busy with school so forgets to call, and he was only looking for her to be friends and se how she's doing. That I need to get over it and think of our future.

 

I feel helpless..Tell me I am not crazy??? Sorry its long I needed to vent~

[tanbark813]

I don't know if you're crazy or not. The library thing does seem a little weird but it may be legit. The forgotten phone calls my be a symptom of getting too comfortable in the relationship and taking things for granted.

 

But I do think it is a bit of a double-standard to get in touch with your own ex and get mad at him for looking up his ex. Not that I think he should be getting in touch with his ex in the first place--and the last post you made about that did seem odd--but you don't really have a leg to stand on if you're having dinner with yours.

 

I guess the bottom line is you need to weigh the benefits and drawbacks. Although, there have been some red flags thrown up over the years you've posted about your relationship.

[EC]

I understand TB but My ex and I have nothing..he has a gf and she goes to the dinner..I on the other hand have emails if him flirting with this girl.

 

And my ex and I have always been friends. And I friends with his family. Its going on 10 years now.

 

This chick he met on a cruise, they had a fling, exchanged a couple e-mails afterwards but she stopped answering his e-mails. Then she finally did and showed up out of the blue which is when they e-mailed flirting back and fourth but they never got to meet up because she never wrote back and NOW hes looking for her two years after that to see hows shes doing??? They are not friends they only f*cked a while back.,

[tanbark813]

Ahh, well.. It's certainly not a good sign. Gotta go with your gut, EC.