raidsniffer Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 I dont want to sound all desperate or pathetic or anything.. but is this normal? The relatinoship lasted for 6 months. Yet its about 4 months after the break up, yet im still thinking about things, missing her, what she's up to, why it ended and all that crap. Yea its kinda sad. but I d'nt know how else to cope. The relationship was half as long as my previous one, but with the previous one i forgot about her and moved on within 2 weeks. This one is lingering and I can't seem to shake it off. Is this normal or am i just whacked out of my mind?
kirikat Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 Because you are mourning BOTH relationships at the same time. I know this doesnt make any sense at first glance... but you didnt take any time after your last relationship to grow, figure out what happened, or really heal... (and you dont really shake off someone of a year in 2 weeks, even if the relationship sucked....) So, now you have the issues of this relationship, and the last one, and maybe a few previous ones to clean up.
Biker2007 Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 Raid, I am in a similar situation. My last relationship was just a few months, but it is kicking my butt. I can’t get her out of my head. Kirikat could be right about mourning 2 relationships, but I would also suggest that the pain you are experiencing is because you did not get closure on the last relationship or the relationship felt like it did not get a chance to run its course. You may be thinking about the future you had w/ your ex and what could have been…trust me, that is what keeps me up at night. How did the 6 mo relationship end?
Author raidsniffer Posted September 18, 2007 Author Posted September 18, 2007 well the year long relationship ended years ago.. and i've never got back into the dating scene until recently. The girl i dated recently seemed like a really sweet girl in the beginning and then it turned sour after a month or so. I tried to understand why by asking and talking to her. I knew a lot had to do with her issues, but then i wasn't sure if i was being lied to or told the truth. Overall 5 out of the 6 months i would say was hard. It's like i almost didn't even exist sometimes. I think its just months and months of pain that was built up.
kirikat Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 Im sorry... but your story doesnt quite make sense to me.... You had a year long relationship, which you shook off in 2 weeks. But you didn't have ANOTHER relationship until years and years later? There seems to be real "relationship" stuff here. If it took you years and years before you were willing to take a risk, and your first time out didnt work out, it isnt surprising that you are pretty upset. But I still think maybe this hasnt much to do with the girl, and a lot to do with issues that you still need to figure out.
Biker2007 Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 Do you know what turned your situation sour? Sounds very familiar to my situation. I was on cloud nine for a while, and then she admitted that she can be tough on guys that she dates. At the time she said that, I did not think it would happen to us…well, before I knew it all the jokes, easy conversation, and closeness disappeared. I was getting conflicting signals. She would say one thing and do another. I did not know what to do as our communication was beginning to breakdown. And this coming from one of the nicest girls I have met in a very long time! If your ex was working on some issues, sounds like you were in a tough situation, especially if she was not 100% open w/ you. I bet you are like me and would like to know what happened to the nice girl you met. Perhaps a female on the forum can shed some light here... Sounds like you have not had contact for 4 months since you broke up? Just keep focusing on yourself for now and getting to a place where you are emotionally ready to date again. If it is with her, great. If not, that is fine as well.
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