curiousnycgirl Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 Wow we are all in violent agreement - I was just coming back to suggest the very same (that she stay in London over night at a friend's house). Emma you need to become more self reliant, and have far fewer expectations of him. The only thing you can count on is that he will let you down. It is up to you if that blows all of your plans, or only his participation in them. You are making yourself a victim here, and that really is not his doing, it is yours.
Author emmaUK Posted September 18, 2007 Author Posted September 18, 2007 LOL hahaha... well said i actually have told him to f-off now... told him i cant take the way he always lets me down when its something that is important to me and im sick of the way he switches and snaps at me when he smoking weed and that i dont want anything to do with him while he is still smoking that ****. there are no night buses back to where i live in surrey n in all honesty i wouldnt want to hang around elephant and castle at 4am coz i have had some bad experiences with weirdos coming onto me in the street. i may have sorted something for a diff club anyway on saturday nite now.... managed to sort out a g-list for this club aswell and a friend has told me he wants to give me train fare as a bday present and to give him my bank detaills 2moro so he can put the money in there. i told him i didnt want him to for ages but he said he needs a good nite out aswell so i may as well accept the offer, so i think thats what is happening now. this club starts at 10pm and finishes at 1pm the next day so no chance of me haning around in the dark... i dont think i can last 15 hours anyway.. will prob leave at about 8am. if i go im gonna dance all nite and try my best not to think about HIM. i wish i could just get him out of my head for good... i am missing him already i must admit. i have to resist temptation. he text me after i had told him to f-off saying that he loves me so much and he is gonna miss me more then anything n that me and my daughter are his family. grrrr that was hard not to go all mushy over. i jsut told him that i love him 2 but i cant take the way he is anymore and he needs to sort out the weed addiction and the way he switches coz it dont him no favours. i dont want to miss him (
sb129 Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 What, exactly, are you missing? Cos I ain't seeing no good bits. 1PM????!!!! Please tell me you aren't going to those 24-7 clubs in Hoxton Square?
Star Gazer Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 Emma, he's not responsible for you. Regardless of your reasoning, he hasn't ruined your plans. That your financial situation isn't to the right level, isn't his problem. Having said that, he's a jerk. Why would you put up with is treatment of you in so many ways? Until you hold him emotionally accountable, like walking away from an unhealthy relationship, he'll keep playing you like a fiddle. I agree completely.
climbergirl Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 IDK..you keep bring up the pot. I'm thinking it's a red herring, because (ok I'm assuming) he's probably not constantly stoned. Kind of like a person gets drunk, regrets what they did the previous night and apologizes-but, from what I'm reading, your guy keeps up the tirade for days. So unless he's stoned 24/7, I wouldn't blame the pot. I bet if he quits, he still won't change. JMO LOL hahaha... well said i actually have told him to f-off now... told him i cant take the way he always lets me down when its something that is important to me and im sick of the way he switches and snaps at me when he smoking weed and that i dont want anything to do with him while he is still smoking that ****. there are no night buses back to where i live in surrey n in all honesty i wouldnt want to hang around elephant and castle at 4am coz i have had some bad experiences with weirdos coming onto me in the street. i may have sorted something for a diff club anyway on saturday nite now.... managed to sort out a g-list for this club aswell and a friend has told me he wants to give me train fare as a bday present and to give him my bank detaills 2moro so he can put the money in there. i told him i didnt want him to for ages but he said he needs a good nite out aswell so i may as well accept the offer, so i think thats what is happening now. this club starts at 10pm and finishes at 1pm the next day so no chance of me haning around in the dark... i dont think i can last 15 hours anyway.. will prob leave at about 8am. if i go im gonna dance all nite and try my best not to think about HIM. i wish i could just get him out of my head for good... i am missing him already i must admit. i have to resist temptation. he text me after i had told him to f-off saying that he loves me so much and he is gonna miss me more then anything n that me and my daughter are his family. grrrr that was hard not to go all mushy over. i jsut told him that i love him 2 but i cant take the way he is anymore and he needs to sort out the weed addiction and the way he switches coz it dont him no favours. i dont want to miss him (
Trialbyfire Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 Point blank Emma, you are a beautiful woman who can get a million men to be interested. Look inside yourself and ask why you're staying with an abuser. If it's historical reasons, due to family or relationship foundations built, you can fix those issues, if you really want to focus on them. Also, why are you relying on your friends for financial support so your plans can be met? Why not setup plans that don't include the need for someone else to buck up? You are responsible for yourself.
Author emmaUK Posted September 18, 2007 Author Posted September 18, 2007 haha no not going to hoxton im goign to the SEone in london bridge ... drum n bass, house, old skool, etc... a bit of a sweat box full of cheesy quavers but i will have a good nite. have u heard of raindance??? is thier 18th birthday so are putting the event on to celebrate its not when he is stoned that he is snappy .... when he is stoned he is calm n cool.... its when it starts to wear off or he hasnt smoke it for a while that he gets like that. liek i can tell if he has smoked it the night before coz he gets easily wound up. today for instance when we spoke... i could tell by the way he was talkin to me that he had smoked it last nite .. so i asked him and he said he had. other mates with weed smoking BF's say the same thing... when they are clucking for some more weed they just get irritable n nasty. he did give up for 6 weeks n he was lovely... we didnt have one argument n he was so calm n lovely. id say it takes him about a week and a half of him not smoking it to stop being irritable.. then he magics into a totaly diff lovely person.
curiousnycgirl Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 Oh Emma you are evading the direct/pointed questions. I hope you truly enjoy your birthday celebrations. You'll deal with all this when you are ready.
sb129 Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 I am more of a Fabric girl myself. Although my clubbing days are few and far between due to the extended recovery time these days. Emma, he won't give up weed anytime soon. ESPECIALLY if you try to force him to. Some time apart will be good for you both. He can't continue to treat you this way, you deserve better.
Author emmaUK Posted September 18, 2007 Author Posted September 18, 2007 well abotu the work.... i guess everyone on here knows i do a bit of glamour modeling. and september is a very bad month for alot of industries coz its the end of the summer holidays and work has been pretty non existant for about 3 weeks now. the only work offers i have been getting have been for hardcore porn which i do not do. i have a job coming up week after next so that will sort me for a while. and hopefuly things will pick up again in a few weeks time im hopefully startign a personal training and nutrition course soon so will have something else in the future to do... coz i am gettin pretty sick of the irregular work and the b**ches and a-holes i have to edure on a regular basis.
Cobra_X30 Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 Do you feel like this is the best man you can get? Do you feel like you deserve this kind of relationship?
Author emmaUK Posted September 18, 2007 Author Posted September 18, 2007 hmmm i dont know really. if i was an outsider i prob wouldnt think so. somtimes i think i can do better and i deserve better and other times i feel i love him so much n i dont want to live without him
Author emmaUK Posted September 18, 2007 Author Posted September 18, 2007 thanks for the nice comment byt the way trialbyfire
jcster Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 he text me after i had told him to f-off saying that he loves me so much and he is gonna miss me more then anything n that me and my daughter are his family. "I love you" are the 3 most important words in the manipulative jerk's arsenal. It's really easy to say when you don't mean it, and it gets you soooo much. This guy is a manipulative jerk, you know it, we all know it. Cut him loose.
sb129 Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 Why do you put up with this kind of treatment? I am about to make an enormous generalisation here Emma, so please forgive me, I don't' mean to offend, but I used to work with a girl who, like you did some part time glamour modelling. She is gorgeous, and has a figure to die for. Yet HER BF treats her like SH*T. I know quite a few girls who are gorgeous, glamour model types, yet who put up with crappy treatment from yobbish BFs who are no oil paintings, and who seem to get a kick out of battering the hell out of their GFs self esteem. WHY? Could someone please explain this to me?
Trialbyfire Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 Emma, don't make me pull out my partner ejecto chair and force your b/f into it myself. You won't be liking the setting I choose 'cause it will hurt him somewhat fiercely...
sb129 Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 PS. I know that looks aren't everything, but it seems to be a phenomenon I have observed quite alot in this country.
Author emmaUK Posted September 18, 2007 Author Posted September 18, 2007 lol i cant help you with that one but my 2 other long term BF's were prob worse. used to call me fat, ugly, saggy tits, bucket c**t, spotty, any name u can think of ,, i have been called it by BF's i have always tended to go out with guys liek this. at first they are so lovely and put the charm on n then when they start to get comfortable they go nasty maybe coz its happend so much that i dont think i can attract any other person. i do tend to go for bad boy types.... i do not fancy "nice" guys... im jsut not attracted to them at all so i wouldnt be able to sleep with them.
sb129 Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 You sound just like my friend. Trust me, the "bad boy" appeal really does wear off after a while.
Cobra_X30 Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 hmmm i dont know really. if i was an outsider i prob wouldnt think so. somtimes i think i can do better and i deserve better and other times i feel i love him so much n i dont want to live without him Well, have you run out of men where you live? There should be some decent ones still floating around somewhere. While your wasting time with this douche, your missing out on someone you will ALWAYS feel like you cant live without!
Author emmaUK Posted September 18, 2007 Author Posted September 18, 2007 i guess im really fussy when it comes to meeting guys... the smallest thing can put me off. i have been on so many dates n all it took was one smal thing n i dont meet up with them again. but once i fal for someone though .. i hang onto them until the end i know im far too fussy.
Cobra_X30 Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 i guess im really fussy when it comes to meeting guys... the smallest thing can put me off. i have been on so many dates n all it took was one smal thing n i dont meet up with them again. but once i fal for someone though .. i hang onto them until the end i know im far too fussy. I'd say your not fussy enough. Do you weed guys out too quick before you get attached and they hurt you? Also, what appeal does a bad boy have? Are you in a situation where you feel like poor treatment is what you deserve?
sb129 Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 i guess im really fussy when it comes to meeting guys... the smallest thing can put me off. i have been on so many dates n all it took was one smal thing n i dont meet up with them again. but once i fal for someone though .. i hang onto them until the end i know im far too fussy. I agree with Cobra- I don't think you are fussy ENOUGH... If the smallest thing can put you off, how come you are still with your BF?
jcster Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 I think it's a matter of what you are fussy about. You might want to take a look at your criteria when you are contemplating a relationship. It seems like being good to you isn't on the list.
Cobra_X30 Posted September 19, 2007 Posted September 19, 2007 I think it's a matter of what you are fussy about. You might want to take a look at your criteria when you are contemplating a relationship. It seems like being good to you isn't on the list. I think her fussyness is a wall to keep out any guy who actually might be good to her. I doubt she feels like she deserves that, almost like they would have nothing in common. Agreed?
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