shute Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 [COLOR=black]when i first got my internet i meet a girl on msn chat way back in the day. we talked and played games online all the time and would even exchange gifts during x-mas and birthdays. Even though i was young i never felt this strong of a connection to someone. I know it seems strange but we almost talked everyday for 3 years and never exchanged photos. it was just one of those completely platonic "friendships"... heck she even told me who she liked and i even gave her advice on how guys think. well they did get together but eventually they broke up but it wasn't until she told me a while later that they might be getting back together. Out for the blue i decided to tell her i loved her even though i had never seen her photo or even met her in real life. Her response was that i "freaked" her out and that we should take a break from each other for a bit. I wrote back the next day telling her that we should end our "friendship" because it was hurting me to much and asked her as a friend helping out a friend not to contact me ever again. that was over 7 years ago and the last i ever heard of her. i still wait for her to e-mail me even thought i know in my heart it would never happen. i find myself waiting for her, just her because to me waiting in itself is enough and it's all i got. I have a hard time moving on even after all this time. I remember the first year we exchanged gifts i had to buy her a small Japanese rabbit dolls which name I’ve forgotten for a x-mas gift. at the time i could only afford a small one being without a job as a 17 year old at the time but i promised her that one day when i find a jumbo one i would get it for her. that promise haunts me to no end it's the feeling of being held back by something. i still have her old address but have no idea if her family has moved. should i just fly there and drop it off but at the same time i don't want give her any more pain. I’m not a ugly guy who can't find a girl, in fact I’ve had several attractive ones say they like me but to me they are nothing to this girl whom I’ve never ever seen before. even if i found out she was a 300 pound hairy woman i would still cry, hug and tell her i love her if i ever saw her in real life. there are people with needs, need to have someone attractive, funny, smart, compatible and ect but i love her no mater what like a parent’s unconditional love for their child. I have no more friends because I’m always to hurt to go out and i have to put up a fake smile all the time at work because i work in retail. how can i stop this pain i feel everyday? there are many times i feel like taking my own life just to end my suffering but I’m to much of a coward to do it. If i had one pill that would do the job pain free and was 100% effective i wouldn't be typing this message today. am i doomed to be waiting for her for the rest of my life? If i am then i do not want to wait anymore..[/COLOR]
kirikat Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 You have fallen in love with a dream, with someone who honestly doesnt exist. But - you know something? You need to find that out for yourself. Get the rabbit, send it. Use a search service, and find her phone number. Give her a call... and make a bit of a joke... "I saw a rabbit, and I thought of you, how are you doing?" She will just think you are an old friend touched by nostolgia, and perhaps you can meet in real life. And once she becomes a REAL person to you, your perspective is bound to change.
Curious139 Posted September 20, 2007 Posted September 20, 2007 Just a guess but the rabbit is called "Miffy". My children loved a book about Miffy. I also think you are in love with a dream. Unfortunately it is now harming your emotional growth and you really need some therapy to get deal with your thoughts and feelings. See a counsellor who can help open up your mind to other ways of thinking about her. I have no doubt your feelings are genuine and heartfelt. The difficulty is you are always going to measure every other girl against the dream image and none of them can ever measure up - including this woman in the flesh. We miss a lot of cues about people online because we cannot see eyes and faces so the images we build are inherently biased towards our own conceptions of what that person should actually be.
loveinlife Posted September 20, 2007 Posted September 20, 2007 You have fallen in love with a dream, with someone who honestly doesnt exist. But - you know something? You need to find that out for yourself. Get the rabbit, send it. Use a search service, and find her phone number. Give her a call... and make a bit of a joke... "I saw a rabbit, and I thought of you, how are you doing?" She will just think you are an old friend touched by nostolgia, and perhaps you can meet in real life. And once she becomes a REAL person to you, your perspective is bound to change. i agree- =) Just a guess but the rabbit is called "Miffy". My children loved a book about Miffy. I also think you are in love with a dream. Unfortunately it is now harming your emotional growth and you really need some therapy to get deal with your thoughts and feelings. See a counsellor who can help open up your mind to other ways of thinking about her. I have no doubt your feelings are genuine and heartfelt. The difficulty is you are always going to measure every other girl against the dream image and none of them can ever measure up - including this woman in the flesh. We miss a lot of cues about people online because we cannot see eyes and faces so the images we build are inherently biased towards our own conceptions of what that person should actually be. very true - =)
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