Bad Situation

[Kerruptor]

So,

my girlfriend of 4 years told me a week ago that we should go on a "break". We have dated since Sophmore year of High School, and are now both in our Sophmore year of College, at our respective colleges which are about 2 hours away from each other.

 

I asked her if we would be seeing other people, and she said she "didn't plan on it, but couldn't predict the future or promise anything". This really hurt me and devestated me, because for so long we had told each other we would someday get married, etc. etc.

 

I realize a few days later I want all or nothing. She could either be my girlfriend and there would be no break, or we just break up completely, and if we happen to get back together down the road, whenever that may be, so be it. She said she didn't want a long distance relationship, and that I had taken her for granted recently.

 

I did kind of take her for granted over the summer, but not intentionally. I was stuck between working every day, seeing my friends, and spending time with her. I didn't get to spend as much time with her as I would have liked, or she wanted for that matter.

 

Anyway, flash forward to a few nights ago. I'm completely upset, confused, and very drunk in addition. I want nothing more than to be with my girlfriend, and she knows this, but she insists she needs space and time.

 

I get very drunk at a party, meet some chick, and have sex with her later that night. I wake up the next morning, feeling like complete ****, and knowing it was a complete mistake. I knew it was a complete mistake during it too. It was terrible. I don't even know this girls name, and I hope I never see her again.

 

As sick as it sounds, it really made me realize that much more that I need her. I don't want to spend college having sex with random girls like a lot of guys do. I know I love my girlfriend, and want to be with her.

 

I'm seeing my girlfriend next weekend, and she has told me that if it's "all or nothing" for me, she wants to work things out because she knows Im the one for her.

 

I know that things would never be the same again if I told her about what happened over the break. I feel guilty, but I feel that I would be hurting her too much and hurting our relationship too much to tell her.

 

Any comments/advice would be appreciated, thanks!

 

Craig

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

"Taking a break" is a euphemism for ending the relationship.

 

Technically, it also means that "you and I are free to do as we please". So I don't think what you did is unusual. Not rendering you free of blame, but it's the truth. Things like these happen when you take a "break" in a relationship. You're angry, confused, lonely, and therefore more likely to do something like this.

 

The good thing is that you realize you've made a mistake. Next time, don't do something like this until you're sure you are not going to be with the girl any more.

 

I don't see a point in telling this to your girlfriend at this time. She's already not too keen about the relationship right now.

 

Perhaps you do need to take a break from it all, Craig. Perhaps the relationship needs more from you and from her, than what you both can give right now.

 

Give it time, and see if circumstances are still favorable to a relationship later down the line.

[Kerruptor]

"Taking a break" is a euphemism for ending the relationship.

 

Technically, it also means that "you and I are free to do as we please". So I don't think what you did is unusual. Not rendering you free of blame, but it's the truth. Things like these happen when you take a "break" in a relationship. You're angry, confused, lonely, and therefore more likely to do something like this.

 

The good thing is that you realize you've made a mistake. Next time, don't do something like this until you're sure you are not going to be with the girl any more.

 

I don't see a point in telling this to your girlfriend at this time. She's already not too keen about the relationship right now.

 

Perhaps you do need to take a break from it all, Craig. Perhaps the relationship needs more from you and from her, than what you both can give right now.

 

Give it time, and see if circumstances are still favorable to a relationship later down the line.

 

 

Thanks very much for the advice.

 

The thing is, when I see her, I think we may "get back together", or atleast try and sort out the problems that brought us to this point. She says she realizes that she can't be without me in her life, and wants to resume our relationship (this break has only lasted a little over a week)

 

Im just wondering if I should tell her:confused:

 

I know it would hurt her, maybe even to the point of wanting to end it. I know I didn't mean/want what I did. I just don't want it to affect what her and I have. I told a very close friend, and he said that it might be best just to not tell her, pretend it "never happened", and just move on with our relationship.