jrr0988 Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 This past mothers day I caught my husband at another womans house laying in the bed with only his boxers on. After a confrontation between him and I, I left and he stayed there. About 3 days later we talked and he said she was the girlfriend of someone else who lived there. For about another month I was constantly suspicious and asked him about her and he repeatedly denied anything was going on. Late June I found him again at her house and he's been there ever since(living there). I try to contact him because I feel he needs to address all that hes done and he hangs up the phone on me as soon as he hears my voice or when he does talk to me its mean and hateful insults with her hearing how he is speaking to me. I was with this man for 7 years and he treats me this way for a woman hes only known for 4-5 months. I am so broken hearted and I dont understand any of this. Im trying to pull myself together but its so hard. How can someone who say that they loved me do this? I feel so betrayed because I did everything for him. I also have no sense of closure because I did not want our relationship to end on such bad terms. His attitude is so cold and uncaring. I get sick to my stomach and have lost 20 pounds ever since this and it has been a struggle to get through each day. Im an emotional wreck because of him and hes having no problem getting on with his life with another women. I dont understand. We had just had our anniversary right before this and he gave me such a nice day. Can anyone please give me their input and advice. I feel so lost and betrayed by a man I still love so very much but apparently didn't have the same feelings for me.
Curious139 Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 What an awful and cowardly way for your husband to treat you. I can't figure some guys out. If it helps at all, there are plenty of us decent men out there and a lot on this site. You have been callously disregarded and frankly if your husband has this in his character then I have to wonder if you aren't better off without him. You are absolutely right to feel shattered and bereft. No-one deserves to have this happen to them but sadly if you read the threads here you'll realise it occurs all of the time. Some people just don't deserve to be loved. You need support to get through this. Friends and family, counselling. Don't try to tough it out by yourself. I suggest you should see a lawyer too so you understand your legal entitlements. But support is the most important step. Your husband can't face you - he knows in his heart that he has wronged you and doesn't have the courage to sit down and talk to you with dignity and respect. He is not worthy of your love. I don't know whether this is the end for you both but I strongly suggest that you act and think that it is. Look forward.
ftheunion Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 whoa now, this is almost always the opposite. Usually the girl turns into a cold shoulder and the guy suffers. Dunno, but tons of guys hurt because of women pulling this stuff off. Sorry bout that happening.
kirikat Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 ftheunion, do you have an ignore button? Your problems with women run so deep that I doubt you are capable of a successful relationship. Now... onto the problem at hand.... I dont know how old your husband is, but it sounds like a mid life crisis to me. Esp if this is new behavior. there is a site, google it - called the "midlife wives club" - it goes through this in detail. I hate to tell you this, but you can shortly expect what we call "the speech" - which usually contains something about being unhappy, finding oneself, and how its mostly your fault. Do not take it seriously, but if I am right, this is a long process, and your marriage may or may not survive - but if it does, it will be a whole new animal when if it does. Im sorry... this is horrible, but people (usually men) - who havent really lived throught the proper growth stages (its usually men because they dont process feelings as well as women... not because they are bad....) seem to have this meltdown in thier late 30's - 40's (signs to look for, the diet, the car, the girl, the yacht, the tooth bleach....) Good luck, and I am so sorry. I have been there, done that.... and it is HORRID.
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