Cad Rake Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 so I talked with the girl, well woman, she's 36, who was using the Why Men Love B1tches "aloofness" technique. I talked her into letting me "date" other women. I mean, I'd been doing it on the sly anyway, but now she's implicitly agreed to it (or enough so that if she sees my profile on dating sites she has no recourse). She was being distant with the excuse that she had so much going on in her life that she wasn't able to give me the time I deserved. But please, no ability to call me more than once a week? That's a game, not "busyness." She said that it was up to me whether I wanted to continue the relationship because I'd been bitching about not being able to bang her enough. I think she was expecting me either to split or to cave and say "I loooooove you I want to beeee with you." So I said I'd take as much as she was willing to give. She said that wasn't very much at this time because she was so busy. I said I cared about her so much I'd take anything, but that she had to expect me to "live my life" when she wasn't around. She asked what this meant. I didn't want to come right out and say "um, banging other chicks of course." This went back and forth back and forth until we came to a non-explicit agreement that I would "enjoy life" when I wasn't able to see her, and finally she got very uneasy and said she felt "weird" about our "new" type of relationship. But I told her it would be great and that I would no longer be bitching about her not putting out more than once every week or so. So now I just hope she doesn't get all weird about it and try to renegotiate. We started out as FBs, then she tried to make it into a "real" relationship which sucked, and now she's back as a FB. I hope hope hope I can maintain this. Wish me luck! I finally called her on her BS... sorta. I didn't say she was being aloof as a game but rather I said "I'm sure you're NOT playing a game and are just busy because of work, etc. So let's do this with our relationship to make it better." I have a feeling she knows something is a little "off" but hopefully she won't wise up to it.
amber1 Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 Wow, this whole thing you have going sounds like it's a lot of work.
fray718 Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 If you really love and care bout her, you would not do this. If you want to keep her with you, this will only make her dump you in the long run. She will be with you only until she finds someone who cares and respects her enough to be exclusive. Please, stop playing the game.
Author Cad Rake Posted September 17, 2007 Author Posted September 17, 2007 But he has to take what he can get. So true! Wow, this whole thing you have going sounds like it's a lot of work. I've got a lot of time on my hands! Please, stop playing the game. lol
birdie Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 your user name is very fitting of your personality I see
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 It is frustrating to see women settle for men who behave like this, when there are men out there who can and will treat them so much better.
lindya Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 We started out as FBs, then she tried to make it into a "real" relationship which sucked, and now she's back as a FB. I hope hope hope I can maintain this. Wish me luck! I can wish that you step on some dogsh*t when you leave your house today. That's supposed to be lucky. Why don't you apply the Occam's razor approach here, and instead of leaping to conclusions about all kinds of games this girl might be playing with you, consider the most likely reason. That is, that she only wants to see you once a week. The two of you presumably get on really well together between the sheets sometimes. If you didn't, she wouldn't want to see you at all. Perhaps it's a case of "good enough sometimes to put up with the fact that sometimes it's a bit crap. Not good enough/sometimes too crap to take the gamble more than once each week." Maybe she likes her own space....or perhaps you're annoying company after a short while. There could be all kinds of reasons for not wanting to see you more than once a week, that are entirely unconnected to her playing games. I finally called her on her BS. It does sound as if you're all hung up about something. Whether it's this girl, or just the exciting notion that you could become some kind of player at some point in the future isn't clear....but I suspect that when a f*ckbuddy only wants to see you once a week it's primarily because the sex is good but not great.
Curmudgeon Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 It ALL sounds like a game to me. How pathetic!
maynard Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 It is frustrating to see women settle for men who behave like this, when there are men out there who can and will treat them so much better.huh? she is the one who has been messing with his head
Trialbyfire Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 huh? she is the one who has been messing with his head The boy's a player who sleeps with many and if I recall correctly, doesn't necessarily tell each woman, he's doing so...
oppath Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 The boy's a player who sleeps with many and if I recall correctly, doesn't necessarily tell each woman, he's doing so... And not a very good one since in his own words he has to take what he can get! Real players are upfront and it doesn't prevent them from getting laid.
Author Cad Rake Posted September 17, 2007 Author Posted September 17, 2007 no player here, just a poor boy trying to bang as many hot women as he can. Thanks for the responses!
Krytellan Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 no player here, just a poor boy trying to bang as many hot women as he can. Thanks for the responses! LOL. Have fun man. If you choose to bypass the "do unto others..." route, I hope you don't believe in karma. At any rate, have a ball. I'm not going to say I looked at all of your past postings, but from what I see here it seems like she wasn't doing it for you, so I don't see the problem.
squeak Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 no player here, just a poor boy trying to bang as many hot women as he can.[/quote} Personally I am dead set against lying to others about seeing other people and making them think you are exclusive, period. But-- referring to the point LB made about how sad that some women will accept such shoddy crumbs: I also wonder if the women are bringing it on themselves by settling for a "he's just not that into you" behavior from him in the first place. I mean--they slept with you on the first date, so that was important to you-it established in your mind the fact these women will settle and won't ask for much.Desperate, low self esteem. And what bare minimum of contact exists-- every few days? It must be hard to juggle 3 or more and give much at all. So they really were picked based on how how little they expect from you and themselves, right? So you do have a specific method. I imagine you can't really give of your time/helping out/emotional presence beyond a barely acceptable minimum....and they accept that too. For my own curiosity-Why not put that kind of mind game mentality to good use like playing poker and making lots of money? Another poster here has so much "game" he gets women to willfully and knowingly accept an open relationship... Whereas tricking desperate women seems a bit ...well-bottom feeder... why not go for the big time? Move it up a notch--Try to get them to agree to be your harem out in the open.....do you think you would ever do that instead? At least everyone would know and it would validate your desirability to yourself, if that is part of what is driving you. It seems like a lot of effort that could go towards really great things, like creating or implementing or building shelters for the homeless, or trying to outsmart your opponent in poker and instead you are wasting it on stringing women along. Why not use it for more?
Cobra_X30 Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 It is frustrating to see women settle for men who behave like this, when there are men out there who can and will treat them so much better. That is so true! But realize that its an active choice.
lovernotafighter Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 LS folks just blow my mind with their hypocrisy! every forum I waltz into I see double standards at it's finest!! sorry Cad Rake it appears only me and Maynard (who is god btw) see her game playing though you clearly stated it in bold text I might add. I am guilty as charged however and read that book, thought it was a fun read however to deliberately implement Shelly's 'rules' and screw with your head speaks volumes about this girl in my opinion any way, clearly she doesn't have a mind of her own yet thinks she can control yours? tsk tsk!
Author Cad Rake Posted September 18, 2007 Author Posted September 18, 2007 thanks to both squeak and lovernotfighter.. different opinions but both reasoned out. I appreciate that, most of LS is just about people bashing other people's choices without thinking. I agree with you lovernotafighter.. it seems that women talk and talk about the best "techniques" to use to "make men fall in love with them" but when guys use techniques then the guy becomes a terrible person. All relationships are a game to a large extent, why is it ok for women to treat them as such but men must be earnest all the time? I don't buy into that.
OpenBook Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 I agree with you lovernotafighter.. it seems that women talk and talk about the best "techniques" to use to "make men fall in love with them" but when guys use techniques then the guy becomes a terrible person. All relationships are a game to a large extent, why is it ok for women to treat them as such but men must be earnest all the time? I don't buy into that. Because WE'RE the Gatekeepers, and YOU'RE the Keymasters. We gotta protect it from rogues like you. But I agree with you -- it's all a game. And what fun it is to play it.
Woggle Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 Just because some women play games does not make it right for you to play games. You can't justify wrongdoing by pointing out other's wrongdoing. Be a real man and only deal with real women.
Author Cad Rake Posted September 18, 2007 Author Posted September 18, 2007 guess my point is that EVERYBODY plays games. The only difference in people is that some admit to it and some don't.
Author Cad Rake Posted September 18, 2007 Author Posted September 18, 2007 Because WE'RE the Gatekeepers, and YOU'RE the Keymasters. hmm, didn't realize we were all starring in Ghostbusters. ??
OpenBook Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 Just because some women play games does not make it right for you to play games. You can't justify wrongdoing by pointing out other's wrongdoing. Be a real man and only deal with real women. But I don't think it's wrong to play the game. Not when you're out there in the jungle. You gotta keep those tools sharpened.
Woggle Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 But I don't think it's wrong to play the game. Not when you're out there in the jungle. You gotta keep those tools sharpened. This mentality is why you have so many bitter and cynical people out there. I don't play any games. I did once and it left me feeling empty and shallow. Even in my single days if I wanted casual sex I just said it and most women seemed to respect the honesty.
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