bendee101 Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 I have never had a date before with a girl, never kissed a girl, and basically never did anything with a girl. That would be okay if I am weird and nerdy and sleep with my computer. But I am not. I am in college. I play sports. I captained football in HS and is well-build. But I guess I am not good with women. I make decent money in college from a wide range of internships. I work out whenever I can but I am just not sure why I can't get a girl. I am really troubled. Sometime I really wonder if I am just weird? For example, I don't even know how to approach a girl but I have no problem at job interviews and other important social functions. I don't dress crappy either. I wear Zegna/Burberry shirts most of the time with Gucc/Prada Loafers because of my job requirements. So please, what do I need to do?
Leikela Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 Have you actually asked a girl out on a date? First I think you need to stop worrying about it so much. Second, be friends with girls first and flirt with them. Pick a few you're interested in and make it obvious that you're interested. Once you get the vibes back that one is interested in you, that's when you ask her out. Doesn't get more complicated than that. You can do it!
oppath Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 I don't dress crappy either. I wear Zegna/Burberry shirts most of the time with Gucc/Prada Loafers because of my job requirements. Irrelevant to your problem... what you are going through is not that uncommon. I was the same way in college (though I was a bit of a nerd): good looking, social, articulate, an NCAA division 1 athlete. No one would have pegged me as shy or having difficulties with women. But I'd become so tense when trying to get to know them aside from as friends, I didn't date at all. Eventually it led to panic attacks. At your university: is there a counseling center? Check and see if their counselors are trained in cognitive behavioral therapy, and, specifically if there is a therapy group for people wanting to improve social skills or lessen social anxiety. The reason I recommend this is that just approaching a bunch of women is easy, and you can certainly do it and have some success if you just go all balls out, but there are likely some cognitive distortions when you think about approaching women, and it is important to manage how you think about yourself in addition to changing your behaviors.
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