Travis L Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 I will start by posing some questions and then follow up with my own feelings... How do you know if you're really over someone(i.e. over the break up)? Did you feel guilty when it did happen? I have been feeling less and less pain and feelings of loneliness over the last couple of weeks. It's only been 3 months and I feel a little guilty about getting over the 4 year relationship so quickly... I mean, SHE left ME and I shouldn't feel guilty about emotionally moving on. SHE emotionally checked out a while back... She doesn't want to go back with me....and I really don't have a desire to have her back. To be honest, I would probably say yes if she came running to me saying she was sorry and she wanted to work on things...that's not going to happen. The kicker is our NC lasted all of 3 days... Other than that there has only been a lot of self reflection and conversing back and forth with her. Spending time with each other and just being friends for the last month. There have been yelling matches, venting, crying, etc...by both of us. Today, we spent 7 hours straight together and there was no feeling of pain, loss, rejection, etc...like there was for the first 2 months. When she left my place, to go to her new man's house, I felt no sadness or despair. I just felt nothing...I had a great day with her and I didn't really care that she was going to another man's house. I'm more worried about this development than anything...I guess a part of me feels like I dedicated the first two months to finding ways to get her back and now I just don't care... This makes me wonder whether what I thought was love with her, was actually just a dependency or something else!? Obviously, no one can tell me whether or not what we had was love, but it's hard because this was who I thought was my first TRUE love... Is this the emotional epiphany that we are all looking for (second place to reconciliation with the ex realizing all her/his errors)????
CaliGuy Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 Nah, you're just healing well. Be thankful. Many people spend years coping with a love lost. There should be no guilt on your part. What you should be thankful for is to be free of her so you can now meet the RIGHT one for you!
LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 TravisL, Congrats, and no you shouldn't feel bad! I know the guilt you are describing. It's like you feel strange for not missing them anymore! lol It's somewhat scary because you know the relationship is over for good, whereas when you were depressed, you were still holding out that there is hope in one way or another, even if the situation was very bleak! But congrats, and be happy you're feeling this way!!! By the way, I need your advice, so check out my new thread! Thanks.
Curious139 Posted September 23, 2007 Posted September 23, 2007 Good for you Travis, well done. It sounds as though you have reached that epiphany where you are healed and able to view her rationally. We all take different courses and I don't think I'll be healed in anything less than 6 months - maybe more. It is heartening to know good health can come back.
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