KunFuZed Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 I think I'm over thinking about this but I just want to hear some one elses opinion. (Preferably a male). Ok well I met this guy at my job when I went there to interview and from then I knew I wanted him, something about the way he talked to me and made me feel comfortable, and because of how comfortable he made me feel I was able to get the job. We would see each other from time to time and have brief conversations and I could tell he was interested too. Maybe about a month and a half later we went out for the first time. The next day after, I knew that's was the begining of things starting to move too fast because he invited me over to his house and I knew better but I went to his house anyway. Nothing happened that day. The next day he invited me over again and this time there was a lot of dry humping. (Mind you this dude is like 5 years older than me, I'm 23). Exactly one week after the first night we went out I invited him over to my place to watch a movie and I let him perform oral sex on me..... twice and that was all. Then next night, once again at my house, I decided to give him a hand job he wanted it to go a lil further than that and I declined n he left, saying something about his will power. I guess he felt he wouldn't be able to control himslef. I belive he just got up set because I told him it wasn't going past a hand job. Then next morning this man is knocking at my door when I open it he grabs me up and starts performing oral sex on me again before I can close my door and that just turned me on so much, we ended up having sex twice that morning. He says were are grown and we can do wat we want to do which I do agree. But I wanted to possibly start a relationship with this guy. I'm afraid that after giving it up so soon that may no longer be possible. He said I had some good sex and that's what's he's been looking for in a woman but I think that's all talk. Should I just let go of these dreams of oneday starting a relationship with this man?
Leikela Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 A relationship is definitely possible. However, it kinda sounds like sex is all that he wants especially since he said he's been looking for good sex. I think you just need to play it by ear and take your time with things. I think his original intentions were to get you in bed but there is still a possibility things could go deeper.
spookie Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 I think this is a minority opinion on LS but I think that for most guys (and some girls) love and sex are separate. What that means is, if he liked you as a person, he will continue to want to be with you, regardless of when you "gave it up", and if he doesn't, sex won't sway him one way or another. You can figure out what he is in this for by withholding sex and seeing if he stays, but I don't think sex had that much to do with whether a relationship is possible or not. My theory is based entirely on my perosnal experience, which may not be typical. For example, I recently got involved in an explicitly FWB relaitonship with a guy very quickly after meeting him, and now, a month later, he wants a relationship, which leads me to believe that, for guys, feelings have less to do with sexual power struggles and more with how much they like you as a person.
Cad Rake Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 What that means is, if he liked you as a person, he will continue to want to be with you, regardless of when you "gave it up", and if he doesn't, sex won't sway him one way or another. SOOOOOOOOO TRUE!!!! It always amazes me what women think about men. Let me put it this way: If you're cute and good in bed the guy will want to continue the relationship even if you do him the first night. NO GUY will dump a hot, sexy girl who is good in bed after one shag. Sorry, doesn't happen. Why would he? He's getting great free sex from a beautiful woman. No sane man will give that up, whether he "loses respect" for her or not. Whether he's "looking for a wife" or not. The guy WILL dump you after one shag if he thinks you're ugly, fat, or awful in bed. That's it. Any girl who comes along and says "well I'm beautiful and great in bed and a guy slept with me once and never called again...." Hate to tell you, but he thought you were ugly, fat, or awful in bed. Sorry, that's why he dumped you, not because you were too "easy."
spookie Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 SOOOOOOOOO TRUE!!!! It always amazes me what women think about men. Let me put it this way: If you're cute and good in bed the guy will want to continue the relationship even if you do him the first night. NO GUY will dump a hot, sexy girl who is good in bed after one shag. Sorry, doesn't happen. Why would he? He's getting great free sex from a beautiful woman. No sane man will give that up, whether he "loses respect" for her or not. Whether he's "looking for a wife" or not. The guy WILL dump you after one shag if he thinks you're ugly, fat, or awful in bed. That's it. Any girl who comes along and says "well I'm beautiful and great in bed and a guy slept with me once and never called again...." Hate to tell you, but he thought you were ugly, fat, or awful in bed. Sorry, that's why he dumped you, not because you were too "easy." That's not what I meant at all.
Cad Rake Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 well, tough, that's what I'm saying. And it's true.
oppath Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 well, tough, that's what I'm saying. And it's true. No it's not true. I've turned down hot girls who were good in bed after one shag. A couple of times. The reasons? For the first, she was older and had a kid, and I wanted to clarify afterwards (since we were "friends" on the same softball team) if she wanted a relationship, or just a good time. While she just got over the divorce, she was hoping for more and wanted to seriously date me. This blew my mind. I really thought she viewed me as just a good time. Since what we wanted differed, we had to stop dating. The second? She definitely only wanted a good time, but I had started dating another girl who would be at the same place every Sunday. I felt longterm potential with the other girl, and while it is cool to date more than one girl, you can't be dating girls within the same social circle who will be at the same place each week. If a guy likes a girl for who she is as a person, sex within the first hour won't prevent him from calling her again and asking her out. If he doesn't really like her and just wants the sex, he is very likely, after a shag or two, to stop pursuing her even if the sex was good and she is good looking if he is under the impression she is after a relationship, and he only wants sex.
Cad Rake Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 If he doesn't really like her and just wants the sex, he is very likely, after a shag or two, to stop pursuing her even if the sex was good and she is good looking if he is under the impression she is after a relationship, and he only wants sex. That's nuts. Who cares what she wants? That's what I don't understand. The girl says "Yeah I really want a husband" you say "That's great baby take your skirt off." A guy should NEVER drop a girl.. he should just keep getting what he wants from her until she realizes he's not going to give her what she wants, then she drops him. I don't understand anything else.......... ?? :o Enlighten me.
Cad Rake Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 Let me qualify that. A guy should never drop a girl UNLESS she won't sleep with him or he doesn't want to sleep with her anymore (because she's ugly/fat/bad in bed).
oppath Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 That's nuts. Who cares what she wants? That's what I don't understand. The girl says "Yeah I really want a husband" you say "That's great baby take your skirt off." A guy should NEVER drop a girl.. he should just keep getting what he wants from her until she realizes he's not going to give her what she wants, then she drops him. I don't understand anything else.......... ?? :o Enlighten me. Fine. I want to live my life with integrity, to truly be the person I project to others. I don't want to manipulate women. I want our interactions to be genuine. That is what I want. So that is why I drop these girls. Because it is what I want. There is no shortage of poontang. I can get laid. So if I can't give a woman what she wants, transaction over. It's not worth the potential drama of continuing to see her because it is easy to get sex.
Cad Rake Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 wow you must be quite a model. I need to take it when I can get it!
oppath Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 wow you must be quite a model. I need to take it when I can get it! Actually, I have modeled for Nike Running. Looks little to do with getting laid. But this post needs to be steered back towards the OP. Yes, a relationship is possible. Examine how he acts now that he has done the deed. Does he call the day after? Is he making plans for a date date, or just sex? If you liked sex, have sex with him again, but I'd suggest at least going out, walking around holding hands before hopping back into bed. Girls I am interested in...sex can come after we've gone and done something fun for a couple hours. I want to go out and do something cool while getting to know the girl. Then I want to have sex with her. If I just want sex, then it will be a booty call, later night type visit, just sitting in and watching tv, etc.
Leikela Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 Let me qualify that. A guy should never drop a girl UNLESS she won't sleep with him or he doesn't want to sleep with her anymore (because she's ugly/fat/bad in bed). What about the men who like fat chicks?
lovernotafighter Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 HAHAahahahah!!! I am adding this thread to my fav's!!!
Leikela Posted September 20, 2007 Posted September 20, 2007 I have yet to meet one. Wow, you must live a sheltered life. LOL Lots of men like larger women. There wouldn't be fat chick porn if this wasn't the case.
Cad Rake Posted September 20, 2007 Posted September 20, 2007 Lots Define "lots"... "lots" of guys like amputee porn too. But I wouldn't want to sell to that market base.
monkey00 Posted September 20, 2007 Posted September 20, 2007 I think women that play the 'withhold sex' test and see if a guy's relationship material if he sticks around is overrated. I know women that do that all the time, and honestly they're doing both sexes a disfavor. Because women do want it as badly as men. But I understand that they do it to protect their emotions so they wont feel used. Witholding sex for too long can honestly piss of a guy who was looking for a relationship and think a girl isnt interested or is using him for attention. For guys, having a women give up sex now or later wont change the way he feels about her. Whether he wants a relationship or a one night stand.
Leikela Posted September 20, 2007 Posted September 20, 2007 Define "lots"... "lots" of guys like amputee porn too. But I wouldn't want to sell to that market base. I cannot define lots. I just know that there are quite a few men out there that prefer that women have some meat on their bones. This is especially true among the African American culture. Who can forget the song, "Baby Got Back"... Also, there is a guy at the school I teach at that has told me he prefers a nice round woman as opposed to a skinny one. Oh yeah who can forget the saying "More cushion for the pushin'." Just because you find it repulsive doesn't mean everyone else does.
Cad Rake Posted September 20, 2007 Posted September 20, 2007 That's quite an analysis there Leikela. "a guy at school told me" ain't exactly statistically significant. The number of guys who prefer fat girls is probably roughly equal to the number of women who prefer short guys. ie: not high
Leikela Posted September 20, 2007 Posted September 20, 2007 That's quite an analysis there Leikela. "a guy at school told me" ain't exactly statistically significant. The number of guys who prefer fat girls is probably roughly equal to the number of women who prefer short guys. ie: not high Your analysis is no more statistically significant than mine so what you're saying holds no weight either. No pun intended. Fact of the matter is, statistics or not, certain cultures/races prefer larger women. I work in a dominately African American environment and that is definitely what I have observed. Sorry I don't have the stats to back it up for ya, but it's what I know.
Cad Rake Posted September 20, 2007 Posted September 20, 2007 right but black guys will take any white woman they can get.
Leikela Posted September 20, 2007 Posted September 20, 2007 right but black guys will take any white woman they can get. And you assume this because?!?
Recommended Posts