motorace1 Posted September 16, 2007 Posted September 16, 2007 I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months, and despite the fact that we do have our small arguments, we love each other and we do make each other happy. However lately,i've been so upset by the way his friends have been treating me. I thought we were all friends, but because one of my boyfriend's female friends didn't like me, she has been trying to make others dislike me as well, and it seems to be working. i've been told that they think i'm changing my boyfriend and making him unhappy. Ive spoken to my boyfriend and asked him if i do make him happy, because that's honestly what is most important to me, and he says he's happier in so many different ways than he was before he met me. I love to go out and have fun with my friends because i'm at university, but his friends seem to think im stopping him from having fun...Its so pathetic and childish, but the fact is that it's affecting my bf and i, because now it makes things so much more difficult for us. Does anyone have any advice on how to approach his friends... or how to deal with my relationship despite their feelings towards me..? I've honestly done nothing towards them, they've just been a really close group and so, because this one girl doesn't like me, they've followed suit...even though they said they wouldn't do that. Thanks for your help.. i'd really appreciate it.
sally4sara Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 Well you telling them anything isn't going to work, it will just make them think that not only are you trying to change him, but you are now also speaking for him. HE needs to man up and have a frank chat with the lot of them without this girl around. I read your other post on this subject and she isn't acting like a friend. A real friend wants to see their other friends happy. Instead she goes around stirring up the group into seeing what she wants them to see. Since they don't know you well, they can't say one way or the other if she is right or not, but they do know and accept her. It is just easier to side with someone familiar. Don't ask your boyfriend to ditch her just yet. Be honest with him though. Tell him you get a real confrontational vibe off her and now his other friends are acting weird. Admit that you might be wrong and tell him you want to run a little experiment. Ask him to do the following ("please, I really want to think highly of your friends, but I really feel mistreated by her. You wouldn't want one of your friends being mean to me would you?") and if you are right, his female friend will start being a more obvious brat. If you are wrong, she probably won't notice being excluded for one little outting with his other friends. Since she is the %^&$ Stirring Queen, your boyfriend will need to speak to them without her around. He will need to say something along the lines of: "I like this girl. She makes me happy. I know you don't know her well but take it from me, she's really cool. #^%$ Stirring Queen has been acting weird about her and I don't know yet what to do about it. I would appreciate it if you give my girlfriend a chance. It would upset me if my cool friends chased off a girl I really was into without giving her a chance." Then maybe a follow up get together to hang out without #%^$ Stirring Queen. Bowling is fun. If you guys don't include the other girl, maybe she will get the hint that her behavior will land her odd man out if she keeps it up. If not, she will flip out act like a bigger brat and your boyfriend will end up realizing she is out to cause problems and being disrespectful of you.
Author motorace1 Posted September 17, 2007 Author Posted September 17, 2007 Thankyou so much for your advice... it's really helpful... makes me feel like it's not just all me! Hopefully it all works out... i hope!
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