Double D Posted September 16, 2007 Posted September 16, 2007 Next week im due to see my ex for the first time in months. Basically im going back to a organisation I use to work for to help a mate with training. Its only for 1 day and I dont know how to handle this. As far as I know she has got on with her life and in her words moved on. Now I have also moved on upto a point and am concentrating on my life and on me personally but the thought of seeing her again fills me with grrrr! Any suggestions?
WhiteKnight Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 The thought about seeing the ex again would be very hard to deal with. The best advice that I went with was to 'stay neutral', keep your conversations very straight to the point and just act like you don't care whatever she does. She may have moved on and so have you to a point but the emotions and bondage that you two once had will be quite painful and strong. Just do your best to act professional and don't worry about seeing her 'beyond' of what you could really handle. Let her make the first move to talk, never initiate the conversation with her unless in a professional environment if you are 'asked to explain something', do so but keep it very brief and treat your ex like a normal person on the street. Believe me, I had to deal with this once in awhile and being quite blunt about it. Sure there is a part of me that does not want to see the ex but at the same time I want to see her being happy. Quite a contradictory to be honest because woman want the same thing, despite of whatever the past is. Besides, if my ex was proven to be such a b*tch to me... I would just act normal... treat her neutral and get it over and done with on what I have to do. If the ex approaches and asks you 'why are you being so blunt?' (or something like that). Just tell them the truth that you are doing your work as you are told to do and you are acting on a professional basis and want to keep your own distance and concentrate on the task at hand.
kirikat Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 I just read a book about this - and it had an interesting suggestion.... Close your eyes, and imagine the whole thing, pretty much over and over and over again... what you'll say, what she'll say, how it will be... Until you are bored so snotless with the excersize that you dont even CARE anymore. Don't know if it will work... I saw my ex yesterday for the first time in 6 weeks, I was so scared... but honestly, it wasnt nearly as dramatic as I feared.
Author Double D Posted September 18, 2007 Author Posted September 18, 2007 WhiteKnight - Thanks for that. Definately helpful tips. Will just stay professional and treat her like anybody else. Its sad that you share intimate moments and experiences with someone and now its over, treat them like it never happened but all very necessary. kirikat - Thats a great idea. I can imagine it works. Will give it a go. Thanks people. Im so dreading it though.
Just Shoot Me Posted September 20, 2007 Posted September 20, 2007 Next week im due to see my ex for the first time in months. Basically im going back to a organisation I use to work for to help a mate with training. Its only for 1 day and I dont know how to handle this. As far as I know she has got on with her life and in her words moved on. Now I have also moved on upto a point and am concentrating on my life and on me personally but the thought of seeing her again fills me with grrrr! Any suggestions? What exactly is grrr...? do you still have feelings for her? What are your expectations? Most importantly, who initiated the breakup? If you are looking forward to seeing her, let her do the talking when you meet.
Author Double D Posted September 20, 2007 Author Posted September 20, 2007 GRRRRRR! Is my fraustration as I dont particulary want to see her. She intitated the break-up but it was pretty mutural. I knew we had reached an impasse. My expectations is that I just wanna do my job and go but I know its going to be weird and awkward and we are not gonna say anything to each other, well I have nothing to say to her. No, dont looking forward to seeing her at all. With all things being equal I'll rather not see her again.
Author Double D Posted September 22, 2007 Author Posted September 22, 2007 So tomorrow is the day. Will see the ex for the first time after a few months. Im prepared for it but would enjoy it loads more if she wasnt there but what you gonna do? As many people have said 'it is what it is' that felt good typing that. 'it is what it is' 'it is what it is' 'it is what it is' Hope it goes as well as possible. This so SUCKS tho!
Author Double D Posted September 23, 2007 Author Posted September 23, 2007 Well so the ex yesterday. Im in British time, so its like 0:07. Must of exchanged no more than 10 words in 4 hours. Its weird. I dont have anything to say to her and she must not have anything to say to me but its a little sad that a mutrual break up (kind of) leads to a situation where we have nothing to say and dont want to be in each other vincinity. All very sad how things turn out sometimes but it wasnt the major disaster that I was expecting but the aftermath was when I was by myself and had time to reflect in the evening but **** IT what you gonna do right?!
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