An affair of heart or mind? Married co-worker & I'm living with boyfriend

[TwoNoAvail]

I never thought that I would be the one to have an affair. NEVER

 

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, living together for 3. By the 4th yr of our relationship, we fought everyday and his drinking had become unbareable. That's when I found that my married coworker (with child) was becoming more than just a friend.

 

First it was just the sharing of musical interest, jokes, and events, than it was compliments which led to flirting. Eventually, he said affair with no strings attached. I denied because even though things between my boyfriend and I were getting pretty bad, I knew that it was wrong. He seemed fine with it, but we continued on with our "normal" routine.

 

My boyfriend started physically abusing me and I found that I was getting closer to my coworker. He asked that I visited him at home while his wife was working. I thought we could just hang out, but I had a feeling something would happen. And it did. The emails he sent started suggesting there was more going on between us than just the one night stand. I asked him if he had feelings for me and he said he didn't know, but that he found himself jealous of my relationship with my boyfriend, thinking about me all the time, and that the potential of falling for me was outstanding. He says things have been chaotic between him and his wife for sometime and the word divorce has become common in their household. He tells me he thinks of me all the time, addicted, and that he never thought he'd have such a great connection with anyone.

 

He's right because I find myself feeling the same exact way. We've been going on for 1 and 1/2 months seeing each other an average of once a week. Meanwhile, my boyfriend decided he was going to get help. He is now 1 month sober and now treating me with all the love and respect I could have hoped for... Yet, I don't know if it's too late!

 

I do love my boyfriend. But do I love him enough? I'm finding that I'm developing feelings for my coworker.

 

Is it possible that I've clung to my coworker as a result of the negativity at home rather than actual emotional connection? Should I end my relationship with my coworker in order to save my relationship with my boyfriend and give him a fair advantage now that he is trying to be the man that he should have been all these years?