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Coping with Rejection?


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Posted

I guess this is where I am so hung up. Had a very long ea with mm neighbor, slight pa but not sex. Why did he reject me? This is a man that said form the get go" oh we would have to be so careful". He played along with the a for the "Rush" and then when it came down to it, chickend out? Is it because I live next door? Is it me? This bother's me and I am venting? Any thought's??

 

AP:)

Posted

It's hard to tell why he rejected you.. but it sounds like after the slight PA part it stroked his guilt gland and he pulled out because he didn't feel right about going forward..

He also might have made a pact with himself to try on his marriage at that point and needed to put space between you both to give his marriage another shot..

 

Don't take this rejection lying down.. get up and dust yourself off and start going out and having fun again.

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Posted
It's hard to tell why he rejected you.. but it sounds like after the slight PA part it stroked his guilt gland and he pulled out because he didn't feel right about going forward..

He also might have made a pact with himself to try on his marriage at that point and needed to put space between you both to give his marriage another shot..

 

Don't take this rejection lying down.. get up and dust yourself off and start going out and having fun again.

 

Thank's for your reply Art. YesI thnk the guilt Gland was stroked, LOL!:lmao: As for me going out and having fun? I wish!:) Need to resolve my marriage first if that happen's? I try to work on thing's with H but he's so abusive verbally. I don't think he's all there and it sacres me.

 

AP:)

Posted

I've been in his situation before. Its a bit more tricky than when a single guy rejects you. When a single guy rejects you, its probably just you. When a married person rejects you, it is probably the situation that is being rejected. You are taking this too personally, and assuming that the problem is somehow with you.

 

I think the problem was with his perception of your actions. When a married person f*cks around, they run a risk-benefit analysis of the situation. The less of a threat the OP poses to the status quo, and the lower the risk of OP causing problems, the more likely it is the married person will be involved with them. It sounds like your married guy went as far as his benefit analysis would take him, before risk started creeping in. He didn't see you as a reject when the time came to seal the deal - he saw you as a risk, and therefore had to reject you.

 

No married person who intends to stay married will involve themselves with someone when the risk outweighs the benefits.

Posted

I know this is old fashioned of me... but, um... why on earth would you touch a married man? Why would you do that to another woman?

Posted

kirikat im old fashioned too and marriage and all that goes with it means an awful lot to me but sad to say some things happen. You meet someone and you absoultley connect with that person but the said person is married. Its not easy and not simple.

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