people judge me coz i take my clothes off for a living. drives me nuts.

[emmaUK]

i have been doing pole/table dancing and glamour modeling on and off for about 6-7 years now. i enjoy it and the money is nice.

it doesnt mean i am thick becuase i choose to do this, i class myself as an intelligent person and i know once i have decided i have had enough of what i am doing now ... there is a whole world full of roads i can go down.

but at the moment i am quite happy doing what i do and looking alot younger then 26 means i can probably do it for a little longer then other people with similar jobs.

anyway... finding it so frustrating lately becuase certain people refuse to even talk to me once they find out what i do and immedietly judge me before they have got to know me for who i am.

i am an honest, genuine, caring, kind person and i am nice n friendly to everyone i meet, i also do not beleive in covering up what i do, i like to keep it real.

now of course i know that not everyone is gonna be kool with what i do as it offends certain people but lately i have had so many noses turned up at me that its really starting to pee me off.

 

there have been friends from my past who i have found on the internet and contacted... but they wont even talk to me at all. these are like people who i was pretty good friends with and who i thought were not the sort of person to jsut lock someone off becuase of a job.

 

also i have tried to make friends with other single mums via the internet (i have 3 year old) and as soon as they find out what i do then they cut all contact.

 

why is this??? it doesnt mean i am a s*ut or a man eater becuase i do this, it doesnt make me a bad person and i never set out to hurt anyone.

 

surely in this day and age people are becoming more open minded and non-judgemental of things like this as so many girls are doing things like it and its more common then ever.

 

READ THE BOOK FIRST BEFORE JUDGING IT BY ITS COVER

[Trialbyfire]

I'm going to ask you this question. Would you highly encourage your daughter to take up the same career, if the money was there?

[Lizzie60]

Bottom line... why the need to tell other people what you're doing... unless they ask... and even then... Just don't bring it into the conversation if you're not sure how they'll take it...

 

First off... it's no one's business... you ARE happy with your life... that's what is important. The only problem I can see with making lots of money in your situation is the drug... you got to be careful...

 

You have 'taste' the money...it's hard to stop... money is addictive. but if you are careful... you can have a very decent life.

 

The most important person in your life right now is your kid... make sure she's well taken care of... love her... take good care of her...

[emmaUK]

no i deff wouldnt encourage my daughter to do it at all....but if she turned round to me and said she really wanted to do it then i would support her becuase telling any one that they cant do something will make them even more determined to rebel and i would want to make sure that if she insisited on it that she was going to do it safe and work with the right people in the right places

 

i know the london industry and would make sure she went to a top venue with strict house rules rather then some back street dive full of dancers who do extras.

 

i would not like it if she went and did it behind my back

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

Emma, it's sad but most people will judge you for what you do.

 

I can understand if it's something that deliberately causes someone harm, or is egregiously morally wrong.

 

But in your case, you'll have to contend with people who treat you badly because you "offend their sensibilities". They'd rather judge on appearances, than try and gauge what you really are as a person.

 

Not all people will misjudge you or mistreat you, though. There are those who will keep an open mind, with a "live and let live" mentality. Those people are unfortunately few and far in between.

 

If you want to continue doing what you do, then you have to accept the fact that you'll come across both the above kinds of people. The first kind more than the second.

 

 

So I'll say this: For those who don't talk to you and turn their noses up at you...well, pfffft. You don't need them. Cherish the ones that do appreciate you for who you are.

 

 

Like Dr. Seuss said: "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter".

[emmaUK]

most people ask what i do near enough straight away. its one of those questions that generally gets asked when u first meet someone so i wont lie to them.

also most people will end up putting my name into google,myspace (which i use for modeling promotion) , model listing sites anyway so even if i dont tell them they will prob end up finding out. so i jsut liek to get it in the open and then they can decide wether or not they want to persue a friendship.

 

i am starting a personal training/ nutrition course soon anyway so maybe once i get into it .. i may decide that i want to stop the other work and concentrate on that.

 

and yes.. my daughter is number one and i will always do what i can to make sure she is happy and has got what she needs

[emmaUK]

Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter".

 

i like that

[Lizzie60]

Emma, it's sad but most people will judge you for what you do.

 

I can understand if it's something that deliberately causes someone harm, or is egregiously morally wrong.

 

But in your case, you'll have to contend with people who treat you badly because you "offend their sensibilities". They'd rather judge on appearances, than try and gauge what you really are as a person.

 

Not all people will misjudge you or mistreat you, though. There are those who will keep an open mind, with a "live and let live" mentality. Those people are unfortunately few and far in between.

 

If you want to continue doing what you do, then you have to accept the fact that you'll come across both the above kinds of people. The first kind more than the second.

 

 

So I'll say this: For those who don't talk to you and turn their noses up at you...well, pfffft. You don't need them. Cherish the ones that do appreciate you for who you are.

 

 

Like Dr. Seuss said: "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter".

 

Very well said... Dr. Seuss rocks!

[Trialbyfire]

no i deff wouldnt encourage my daughter to do it at all....but if she turned round to me and said she really wanted to do it then i would support her becuase telling any one that they cant do something will make them even more determined to rebel and i would want to make sure that if she insisited on it that she was going to do it safe and work with the right people in the right places

 

i know the london industry and would make sure she went to a top venue with strict house rules rather then some back street dive full of dancers who do extras.

 

i would not like it if she went and did it behind my back

I'm looking at it from this perspective. If I had a very young son or daughter with a friend who's mother was a stripper, I would be concerned about adverse influence. Whether the mother was a good person or not, I would be concerned, due to the seedier side of your business (organized crime, drugs and abuse).

 

This is my honest opinion and not meant to hurt you.

[emmaUK]

no i totaly understand. i guess there are those models and dancers who get on the drugs and do sleep around and there is no telling wether i am going to be one of those types. thats fair i guess.

 

i just wish people would give me a chance and got to know me first and then made the judgement about wether i was a baddy or goody. if after getting to know me they decided i wasnt the sort of friend they were looking for then fair enough

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

most people ask what i do near enough straight away. its one of those questions that generally gets asked when u first meet someone so i wont lie to them.

 

It just happens to be one of the first questions that a person asks another. Can't avoid or change that.

 

 

i am starting a personal training/ nutrition course soon anyway so maybe once i get into it .. i may decide that i want to stop the other work and concentrate on that.

 

It's a good idea. Also more stable than the dancing / modeling you do right now.

 

If nothing else, it will afford you social acceptance from the hoity-toity section of society.

 

I hope it works out...good luck.

 

 

and yes.. my daughter is number one and i will always do what i can to make sure she is happy and has got what she needs

 

Great. That should certainly be your number one priority.

[halfarock]

I used to have a girlfriend who was in your line of work. Before I met her I thought that dancers/strippers were just ditzy party girls. But I found that there is a sizable segment of them who are intelligent and responsible, who have their act together. In the seven years or so that I was with her, I never saw any organized crime, abuse, sex for sale, or drugs - other than a little pot and alcohol.

 

She didn’t get bothered over people who were offended by what she did. I think that she got a kick out of the shock value of it all.

 

I think the thing that got to her the most was the always being on display, pretending that she liked people that she didn’t, pretending that she was happy when she wasn’t. It caused her a lot of problems.

[mental_traveller]

Many people are judgemental, and to them a stripper is just one step removed from a prostitute. If you do this line of work, then you will either just have to accept that some people will be narrow-minded, or you'll have to cover up what you do (and even then, people will find out eventually).

 

That's just what goes with the job I'm afraid. It's kind of like being a pawnbroker or slum landlord - it might be a perfectly legitimate job, and you may be a really nice person, but a lot of people will look down on you just because of what you do.

[rainfall]

I wouldn't want to be around you if I met you and found out you were a stripper because I can not respect someone who does what you do. You feel it is ok to dance for and touch random men every night.

 

I don't agree with stripping at all and I wouldn't want to be around someone who thought doing something like that for a living was ok.

[lonelybird]

i am starting a personal training/ nutrition course soon anyway so maybe once i get into it .. i may decide that i want to stop the other work and concentrate on that.

sounds this is very good direction.

 

personally I cannot pretend to do things, feel like being stripped away, not my cloth, but my heart.

 

anyway, I agree with above posters, don't let anyone get under your skin. it is not important how others look at you, it is important how you look at yourself, if you get peace in your heart, then you know you are on right track. if you don't have peace in heart, then it is about time to find out why. anyway you can always have peace in heart no matter what out circumstance are, and nobody can rob that from you because it is in your heart.

 

good luck with everything

[BentSpine]

You are not making a crime. That's honourable.

 

Personally I would be cautious about befriending you though. I would wonder if your drive for money is too much for my liking. But I think similarly of other career choices as well, not only professional stripping.

[Illicit Angel]

Hey ..... i would say most women would find you threatening and maybe that's why they stop talking to you. Women tend to shy away from other women who could make them look at themselves in a different light. If they don't talk to you anymore the're not really friends because a real *true friend* will accept you no matter who you are or what you do!

 

I have always wanted to have enough confidence in my body to be able to do the work that you do It can be a great source of income and that's not a bad thing. :lmao:

[sally4sara]

I'm looking at it from this perspective. If I had a very young son or daughter with a friend who's mother was a stripper, I would be concerned about adverse influence. Whether the mother was a good person or not, I would be concerned, due to the seedier side of your business (organized crime, drugs and abuse).

 

This is my honest opinion and not meant to hurt you.

 

So because a larger percentage of black men have been in prison, would you be extra worried if you kid made friends with a black child and might be around their father?

[Spinderella]

So because a larger percentage of black men have been in prison, would you be extra worried if you kid made friends with a black child and might be around their father?

 

i think that trial by fire made a valid point, which was rational, not like the statement above.

 

its probably a case of ignorance about your work. it can sound dangerous for those who dont know the reality of it and it is understandable that some may be wary.

 

perhaps you should let people get to know you before you divulge your line of work to them, or at least make sure they understand that you know what you are doing and are sensible with it.

also i should think that a large reason that you do this is to enable you to have enough money to look after your child well, so perhaps you could explain that to them aswell. not that you need to justify anything to anyone, but just to give them the truth of what you are about, rather than a piece of information that is quite likely going to be interpreted negatively.

[whichwayisup]

Seeing as this job isn't a 'forever' thing, it's a way of making good money then do your best not to let others think upset you. I know it's easier said than done, but you may just need to accept that many can't and won't respect someone who dances/strips. It's just part of the territory that goes with that type of job.

 

What really counts is how you are with your child behind closed doors, being a good and loving mom.

 

I'm looking at it from this perspective. If I had a very young son or daughter with a friend who's mother was a stripper, I would be concerned about adverse influence. Whether the mother was a good person or not, I would be concerned, due to the seedier side of your business (organized crime, drugs and abuse).

 

This is my honest opinion and not meant to hurt you.

 

This is true too. Parents are always looking out for their own children and as much as it may upset you, I think you would do all that is necessary to protect your own child as well.

[woodsfield]

people find it difficult not to judge others by their profession; lawyers, bankers, salesmen, etc. i tell people i work for a general contractor and they look at me like i'm a thief, the scum of the earth...same ballpark, but different sport.

 

i KNOW i'm an honest person and that is all that matters to me....if you know you are a good person then don't let what others think bother you. if you continue in your profession, you will have to put up with the flack.

[Trialbyfire]

So because a larger percentage of black men have been in prison, would you be extra worried if you kid made friends with a black child and might be around their father?

I don't judge by race but I do judge by occupation due to personal choice. You can't change your skin colour but you can choose your occupation. If you choose to interact daily with people who are ethically or morally challenged, what does this say about your ethics or morals?

[nittygritty]

I became friends with a neighbor through our kids playing together. When our sons were both in elementary school we would go to some of the school programs together.

 

On more than one occasion I have been asked by rude women questions like "Why were you sitting with _____, you know she used to be a stripper". Or they will say things like "she met her husband stripping at a club".

 

Those types of women talk bad about everybody. Whether its "she used to be fat" or "I heard her husband's cheating on her" or "I think she had work done" or whatever catty comment they can come up with that tries to devalue whoever it is they are talking about. They do this because they are jealous and unhappy with themselves. Some women only see other women as a threat and putting other women down is what they thrive on.

 

My friend is a great mom. She is involved with her kids school activities and helps coach them in sports. She is funny, kind and generous. She is also really attractive and happens to be married to a very financially successful man. So the jealous, miserable wannabes take pot shots at her behind her back. I always have a quick comeback like "Gosh, You sound jealous is everything alright with you?"

 

If your worried that the kids of those snotty moms are going to tease your daughter about it at school, I wouldn't tell them that your a dancer/model. I don't know if telling those moms that your a Personal Trainer will make the jealous catty snobby attitudes change but I think you won't feel like they have something over you, not that they ever did.

 

 

Take Care and Good Luck!

[sally4sara]

i think that trial by fire made a valid point, which was rational, not like the statement above.

 

its probably a case of ignorance about your work. it can sound dangerous for those who dont know the reality of it and it is understandable that some may be wary.

 

perhaps you should let people get to know you before you divulge your line of work to them, or at least make sure they understand that you know what you are doing and are sensible with it.

also i should think that a large reason that you do this is to enable you to have enough money to look after your child well, so perhaps you could explain that to them aswell. not that you need to justify anything to anyone, but just to give them the truth of what you are about, rather than a piece of information that is quite likely going to be interpreted negatively.

 

it is valid because she alluded that the parents occupation and habits might have a negative influence on her child should she allow them to interact with the children of said parent. What part of a stripper's job makes them a candidate for harming or negatively influencing children?

[blowingthetrout]

I wouldn't want to be around you if I met you and found out you were a stripper because I can not respect someone who does what you do. You feel it is ok to dance for and touch random men every night.

 

I don't agree with stripping at all and I wouldn't want to be around someone who thought doing something like that for a living was ok.

 

they don't get touched??

 

...damn it!

 

don't mind this person emmaUK, rain fall is a Washed-up has been!