DateAnalyzer Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 ANOTHER GUY? I know the major signs when some girl's fire is out or me which is decreased phone calling, and not returning calls. Is meeting a new guy usually why the fire is out? I was enjoying the attention from two women this summer and when it stopped I was like-"WHAT HAPPEND?
oppath Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 I'd say meeting a new guy is rarely the reason for decreased interest. Most likely their interest wasn't that high to begin with and as they got to know you, it decreased. I know that is what happens when women stop frequenting me.
celesten10 Posted September 16, 2007 Posted September 16, 2007 It is usually the reason, why are we gonna lie? we're talking about the summer here...
Lyssa Posted September 16, 2007 Posted September 16, 2007 It's usually when the man starts to smother way too much
whichwayisup Posted September 16, 2007 Posted September 16, 2007 Maybe it's the energy you're putting into ALL these questions and posts so many times...If you put out that same neurotic energy while you're out on dates or talking to a woman on the phone - THEY CAN FEEL IT, and honestly, I hate to hurt your feelings, but it probably turns them off. Seems you're just obsessing and creating so much drama for yourself, instead of enjoying the moment and getting to know a woman while you're on a date. You're thinking way too much and then you post about it and obsess.
climbergirl Posted September 16, 2007 Posted September 16, 2007 I don't want to say for sure in your situation, but... IME, it's more than likely. Don't think it has anything to do with you personally, but more the dynamics of her with someone else. Once you find out you're attracted to other people, you tend to cut off ties w/others.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted September 16, 2007 Author Posted September 16, 2007 I don't want to say for sure in your situation, but... IME, it's more than likely. Don't think it has anything to do with you personally, but more the dynamics of her with someone else. Once you find out you're attracted to other people, you tend to cut off ties w/others. Yeah that's what I figured which is why I'm scared of commitment
climbergirl Posted September 16, 2007 Posted September 16, 2007 Yeah that's what I figured which is why I'm scared of commitment Please don't let that make you scared of commitment. Maybe I should have stated it better...if knowing that you're attracted to another to the extent of breaking off ties..then it wasn't meant to be in the first place. You can be attracted to others and, still, want to be with the person to whom you're committed. But that is usually in the later stages in the relationship. If it happens early, cut your losses. She wasn't the one for you to begin with.
sweetbutcheeky Posted September 16, 2007 Posted September 16, 2007 I think it comes down to your getting to know a person and from doing so you find out they just aren't for you. Also similar they saw through the act and found out what the real person is like and were disappointed (not talking about anyone personally). But I do have to agree with WWIU, from your questions, point of view and your obsessiveness. That to me explains it perfectly in your case. Just being honest.
JCD Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 When I reject a girl, it's because I don't think we make a good match for whatever reason there might be. Most people get rejected lots of times before they find their match. You shouldn't worry about being rejected and should think of dating more women so that you can find your match, one out of many.
oppath Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 Their interest level wasn't high to begin with and it decreased as they got to know you. No, it is not because of another guy. If their interest level was high other guys don't matter.
Touche Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 Speaking for myself and my ex-husband. No. There was no other man. Only in my dreams. He didn't treat me right. He didn't appreciate me. He was moody and mean and not affectionate. We fought and we screamed and we made up and then we fought and screamed some more. I kept dreaming about a man who wouldn't treat me that way. And then I left. And then I met the man in my dreams...down to his looks. He was there. So does that answer your questions? Did my fire really go out for one because of another (my dream man)? Maybe so. But whose fault was that? Or was it that my fire went out because I was being mistreated? You be the judge.
Touche Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 Their interest level wasn't high to begin with and it decreased as they got to know you. No, it is not because of another guy. If their interest level was high other guys don't matter. So true in my experience on this earth. Couldn't agree more.
oppath Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 So true in my experience on this earth. Couldn't agree more. Now, in my observations, if you have had a relationship, and it ends suddenly without much explanation, there is sometimes another guy in the picture, but it still comes down to interest level. And that doesn't mean it is a personal dis against you. Ideally, if there are problems in the relationship, they will communicated before the relationship needs to end, because sometimes letting someone know how you feel CAN lead to changes in their behaviors. But if you are talking about flirtation, before a relationship...people just lose interest, and if it is not an established dating relationship, people are more likely to fade away. So even if there were other guys asking these women on dates, it is not the reason they lost interest. Their interest was already gone.
serial muse Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 ANOTHER GUY? I know the major signs when some girl's fire is out or me which is decreased phone calling, and not returning calls. Is meeting a new guy usually why the fire is out? Not for me. If I'm into the guy, I'm into him. So even if there were other guys asking these women on dates, it is not the reason they lost interest. Their interest was already gone. But yes, this has happened - and like oppath said, if I find myself becoming interested in someone else when I'm already in a relationship, it's because I was already thinking about getting out, and usually for quite some time. The other person has nothing to do with how I feel. Honestly, I can't think of a single time when I've left one guy for another one waiting in the wings. I just realized that my interest in this other person meant basically that I was done with the current relationship, and so I left (and didn't start a new relationship, either). I prefer clean breaks. Hope this helps.
Star Gazer Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 Their interest level wasn't high to begin with and it decreased as they got to know you. I totally agree. DA, If you demonstrate any FRACTION of how you are here on LS with these women you talk to, I can totally understand why they stop returning your calls. Your obsessive analysis is a real turn-off, and as WWIU said, women can FEEL it...and when we do, we move on. Fast.
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