BubblesKittyShed Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 Don't be fooled ladies, I am more than my avatar and posts... I see so many common similarities in the OW and the BS No one here seems to see that. If I am wrong, please prove it. Beware, I am in the physcologist profession.
Island Girl Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 Beware, I am in the physcologist profession. Sad you are in the profession and can't spell Psychologist. Sorry, I couldn't help myself...
johan Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 I see so many common similarities in the OW and the BS What is a common similarity? Maybe because they are common, no one feels the need to remark on them.
Lyssa Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 Yes, I would like to know the common similarity as well. Why do you feel the need to start this thread?
Author BubblesKittyShed Posted September 15, 2007 Author Posted September 15, 2007 What is a common similarity? Maybe because they are common, no one feels the need to remark on them. Feels or fears?
Author BubblesKittyShed Posted September 15, 2007 Author Posted September 15, 2007 Yes, I would like to know the common similarity as well. Why do you feel the need to start this thread? Read the question. Why I started this Thread, why not?
Lyssa Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 Sad you are in the profession and can't spell Psychologist. Sorry, I couldn't help myself... Thank you... noticed it too.
Author BubblesKittyShed Posted September 15, 2007 Author Posted September 15, 2007 Sad you are in the profession and can't spell Psychologist. Sorry, I couldn't help myself... Another who cannot look to themself. A pity. Darling you are a Phychologist's bread and butter.
Island Girl Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 Another who cannot look to themself. A pity. Darling you are a Phychologist's bread and butter. Funny that you could make that kind of assumption based on a post that only included a spelling correction, an apology, and a harmless happy bunny. You do not know the first thing about me and you are not a Psychologist. When you say, "Beware, I am in the physcologist profession." Are you inferring you are educated in that profession when the reality is you are serviced by that profession? Again you still can't spell it - it is Psychologist. And it is not themself -- that isn't even a word. It is themselves. Sorry -- off topic -- So back to the question at hand. What common similarities do you see in the OW and the BS? The ones that apparently only you notice...? We wait to be enlightened by your brilliance.
bunset Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 Sad you are in the profession and can't spell Psychologist. Sorry, I couldn't help myself... Is this relevant to the original question? Sorry -- off topic -- So back to the question at hand. What remarkable likenesses do you find between the OW and the BS? We wait to be enlightened by your brilliance. I'm sorry, too, you acknowledged the T/J but I fail to see how you've contributed. Do you ask the OP the same question they posted because you've not contemplated it enough to form your own opinion yet or is your intention to discredit the poster? To the OP: The most common thing I have observed, other than loving the same person, is their desire to invalidate the other. I think a BS has a right to some indignation and grievance. I'd hope it would be proportional to the material damages that may have been done to the R. I also think that an OW/OM is not responsible for damage to the M. The AP did not violate any contract/agreement. That a BS demands respect of their own is an unreasonable expectation. We are all free to have our own beliefs. An AP is not in a position to validate or invalidate the quality of their partner's M. That is the sole responsibility of the parties of the contract. The states' interest in M is solely for managing litigation and fiscal responsibility for minors from the M. There are very few actual statutes against marital infidelity, because it is often irrelevant to those two interests. Unless one of the parties breaks the law. I don't believe anyone but the WS should be burdened with the others' expression of emotional upheaval. often I see the BS speak in terms of having rights to the affections of a WS. In contrast, I see many OW/OM speak of people having rights to their OWN expression of affection. BKS, does this support or expand on your inquiry?
Island Girl Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 Is this relevant to the original question? I'm sorry, too, you acknowledged the T/J but I fail to see how you've contributed. Do you ask the OP the same question they posted because you've not contemplated it enough to form your own opinion yet or is your intention to discredit the poster? To the OP: The most common thing I have observed, other than loving the same person, is their desire to invalidate the other. I think a BS has a right to some indignation and grievance. I'd hope it would be proportional to the material damages that may have been done to the R. I also think that an OW/OM is not responsible for damage to the M. The AP did not violate any contract/agreement. That a BS demands respect of their own is an unreasonable expectation. We are all free to have our own beliefs. An AP is not in a position to validate or invalidate the quality of their partner's M. That is the sole responsibility of the parties of the contract. The states' interest in M is solely for managing litigation and fiscal responsibility for minors from the M. There are very few actual statutes against marital infidelity, because it is often irrelevant to those two interests. Unless one of the parties breaks the law. I don't believe anyone but the WS should be burdened with the others' expression of emotional upheaval. often I see the BS speak in terms of having rights to the affections of a WS. In contrast, I see many OW/OM speak of people having rights to their OWN expression of affection. BKS, does this support or expand on your inquiry? Ah. A poor attempt at admonishment. More blah blah blah from TPG. As for the rest, from what is written here, these couldn't possibly be the "common similarities" the OP was asking for. The betrayal of both, emotional manipulation of both, competitiveness with each other, and claims whether legal or emotional are clearly not what the OP is talking about. These are the points that are debated again and again on this forum. OP you stated the similarities you speak of "no one else seems to see". What are these similarities? Perhaps something unique would spark the discussion.
underpants Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 The commonality I see often is that both come from a perspective of hurt. The spouse is committed, by vows taken. The affair partner is not. However the debate arises that ALL such persons should respect said vows.
woe_is_me Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 What is a common similarity? Maybe because they are common, no one feels the need to remark on them. um..are you a virgin or gay? Why are you calling us all common? And to the OP ... i have often wanted to post to 'support' more than one of the betrayed wives here when they are getting torn to verbal shreds by some drunken OW (i won't name names) yet i'm here as the 'xOW'. I refrain from posting though as i don't really feel that bickering resloves anything... I agree with you.. there are similarities
luvmy2ns Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 Is this relevant to the original question? I'm sorry, too, you acknowledged the T/J but I fail to see how you've contributed. Do you ask the OP the same question they posted because you've not contemplated it enough to form your own opinion yet or is your intention to discredit the poster? It is completely relevant to the original question when an OP comes on here, purporting to be a professional in psychology, yet can't even spell his self proclaimed title. He wants to engage people on here in some "deep" conversation regarding a topic, yet his first post was one huge lie. And then you come on here, attacking a gal for pointing out the lie. Huh? All she was doing was making it clear that most of us would probably not want to engage in any kind of "deep" discourse with an obviously shallow person of low level education on the pretense of conversing with an educated person with claims to a psychology degree. Now if he wants to just pose the question as a "person" who is interested, that would be different. BKS, you wanna try your original question again, without the BS? As for the question itself, of course there are similarities. Both are PO'd. And no - I have not been cheated on by a former husband, nor am I an OW. I just find certain behavior reprehensible.
KATANYA Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 At risk of engaging an obvious fraud, I would just like to point out that it doesn't take any specialty in psychology to figure out that the BS and the OW share certain similar traits/feelings/etc.......but it would have been interesting to here a professional's opinion of what they are. IMO the BS and the OW are both drawn to, attracted to and often committed to a man who is less that what either deserve or really want in a relationship - further, IMO both the BS and the OW are probably working much harder and thinking much longer about ways to keep the relationship viable than the man is....or needs to. Both the BS and the OW are no doubt doing the same type of comparison to each other (is she prettier, does he love her, does she do this....blah, blah, blah..) and at the end of the day, both should be thinking and knowing that they really don't need this guy to make there lives complete.
KATANYA Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 Sorry all, but since we are watching our grammar today, I meant ...their lives...not there lives.....lol
Lizzie60 Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 Sorry all, but since we are watching our grammar today, I meant ...their lives...not there lives.....lol here's another one: but it would have been interesting to here a professional's opinion of what they are. should be hear LOL sorry couldn't resist...
KATANYA Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 LOL. Thanks Lizzie:rolleyes: I don't suppose anyone here is going to believe I am an English Professor......
scaredinlove Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 It is completely relevant to the original question when an OP comes on here, purporting to be a professional in psychology, yet can't even spell his self proclaimed title. He wants to engage people on here in some "deep" conversation regarding a topic, yet his first post was one huge lie. And then you come on here, attacking a gal for pointing out the lie. Huh? All she was doing was making it clear that most of us would probably not want to engage in any kind of "deep" discourse with an obviously shallow person of low level education on the pretense of conversing with an educated person with claims to a psychology degree. Now if he wants to just pose the question as a "person" who is interested, that would be different. BKS, you wanna try your original question again, without the BS? As for the question itself, of course there are similarities. Both are PO'd. And no - I have not been cheated on by a former husband, nor am I an OW. I just find certain behavior reprehensible. What is PO'd??????
scaredinlove Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 I see many similarities too, thy are both in love with a man that won't commit to either one. I am sure the feeling of rejection is mutual if they allow themselves to be like that. Many times the BS will blame the OW for destroying their M and the some OW will blame the BS for interfiring in their affair, because neither one want to acknoledge that the man they love is actually the problem..... They both have basically the same choices. Stay in the relationship or leave. Forgive the Man or not. Be resentefull or get over things and move on. The major difference here is that the BS will have support while the OW will have none. People often think all the promises most man make to the OW are less important than a piece of paper. Yeah.. a piece of paper that says he is married to the BS. Yet he will tell the OW he loves her and many times he does, I know he will say the same to the wife too. So they are both in the same boat. And as for the right speling for the word or Bubble level of education ,that is all irrelevant. I thought he brought up a good point that gives a lot of food for thought.
OpenBook Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 Many times the BS will blame the OW for destroying their M and the some OW will blame the BS for interfiring in their affair, because neither one want to acknoledge that the man they love is actually the problem. Amen to that!! The major difference here is that the BS will have support while the OW will have none. I'm assuming you mean community support here. Because if you're talking about support from the H, I think the BS gets the short end of the stick in that deal. The OW is free to move on to a better life. The BS is just stuck.
scaredinlove Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 Amen to that!! I'm assuming you mean community support here. Because if you're talking about support from the H, I think the BS gets the short end of the stick in that deal. The OW is free to move on to a better life. The BS is just stuck. I mean both. the BS is free to move on too, but many times the H will support the wife better than the OW. The BS is not stuck she can kick the H out. I know it much easier said than donne but she has that option too.
OpenBook Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 I mean both. the BS is free to move on too, but many times the H will support the wife better than the OW. The BS is not stuck she can kick the H out. I know it much easier said than donne but she has that option too. And give up all those "bennies"?? The house, the kids, the retirement, the life?? No way. So (the majority of the time) the BS stays - and either makes her husband miserable for the rest of his life, or becomes a doormat herself to keep him around. Either way you slice it, that ain't no way to live.
bish Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 If I am wrong, please prove it. Beware, I am in the physcologist profession. Then I would have suspected that you'd have spelled it correctly.
Recommended Posts