delia88 Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Okay, I'm a little lost on comments said to me. Anti-depressants and drug for adhd and sleep aids at night are daily consumed by him. He said he wasn't looking for a slut not that I am a slut but that he didn't want it everyday and looking for someone more wholesome. Who has different morals. Thought a slut was someone who slept around not wanting to have sex with their partner. Was it a way out or are the drugs messing with his mind? P.s. meant x-boyfriend.
ebonyjade Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it... why was the word slut even brought into it ... think maybe the pills were talking hun xx
climbergirl Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Oh sweetie, For him to call you a slut? what an a-hole. How are you ever going to have great sex with a guy who looks down on you having sex with him?
Author delia88 Posted September 16, 2007 Author Posted September 16, 2007 Yeah it was weird saying that he thinks it's not special if you have it all the time. We were only intimate twice. I asked if it was cause he didn't find me sexually attractive and he said no that he did and that he's afraid that he's not sexual enough for me. I would have understood that but then he said he was looking for someone who is more "traditional" and had "virtue" and he's not looking for a whore but then said he didn't think I was a whore. I was appalled and said, do you even know the meaning of the word "virtue"? and we didn't sleep together for 6 months so I'm a little lost on the traditional part and why is the word whore even mentioned? He didn't understand why I was offended and said that he's very cautious and that there are things he wants to say to me about his feelings for me but bla bla. He's over 50 and I'm over 40. So the virtue and traditional thing dosen't apply. I'm very attractive and he is not. So then there was a carnival where the dart game has the prizes on the back wall.. stuffed animals. And he won so the carnie guy says pick anything on the back wall for her. 3 of the 5 animals said I love you on them and he says stammering I don't know which one to pick some of these say things. I was livid. I said I don't want it and he said what's wrong. I thought I don't need you to tell me that u don't love me in front of the toothless carnie guy. But of course I couldn't say anything. So I went home and didn't call him then finally I get a call and he says something obviously is going on between us and I would like to go get a drink and talk. I didn't call back I had to drive over to his house while he was at work and saw that he had a party for Sunday football and failed to mention it or invite me even though we weren't really speaking. So I said screw it why should I go to talk since nothing he said made any sense to me anyway and he hasn't called since and I have a social connection where they are all his friends first and so that's why I'm nervous to see if I'm still in the loop socailly and I have a feeling he told people he dumped me and I don't want to say what happened cause I feel humiliated by this man. He chased me for three years and every one told him how lucky he was and now I feel like maybe he was just using all that as an excuse cause he just lost interest. Is that possible? Cause he certainly hasn't tried to contact me again. I am floored....
melodymatters Posted September 16, 2007 Posted September 16, 2007 Sweetie, all I can say is I"M FLOORED TOO ! I don't think you are being irrational, I think THIS guy has some serious issues, and the best thing you can do for yourself, is take back control. He wants this or that, what about what you want ? We woman tend to forget that and try and twist ourselves into pleasing other people. I think YOU should be the one to break it off, and any friends that side against you at 40 ( meaning this aint highschool anymore), are obviously too immature to give a f*ck about anyway !
Author delia88 Posted September 19, 2007 Author Posted September 19, 2007 So I was thinking about the comments he said to me and how he said I wasn't traditional enough and was looking for someone with more virtue which didn't make any sense. It's obvious that he just wanted out and said stupid things like that so he could get rid of me. I don't know why I was so focused on the content of what he said I guess my head was spinning cause I didn't get it. But since he has not bothered to call or apologize It's clear to me he just wanted to dump my a**. Trying to get over the fact that I gave this guy a chance who should have been jumping for joy that a woman like me gave him a chance. And still struggling with that fact that he chose to attack my character rather than just be straight with me. Why would someone put me down istead of just say hey I want to move on? Any thought from anyone? Thanks.
Author delia88 Posted October 1, 2007 Author Posted October 1, 2007 So, I knew it would happen, running into him sooner or later. My friend went into the bar to see if he was there and he came back and said he wasn't but just to be on the safe side he called another one of our friends and he came to walk in with me. Soem time had passed and we walked over. Well, there was my whole football team I said hello everyone as hugging me and saying hi when out of nowhere he appears in my face. Everyone was standing behind him and I was caught of guard. He's in my face wearing the shirt I bought him (which really pissed me off). And he starts loudly saying , "what is going on..I turn around and he whips around and gets in my face again and says What the hell is going on. I just walked out. I thought I'm not going to get into anything in front of everyone and why is he in my face he hasn't called me at all. So I waited until my other friend showed up and I started to walk back in and one of the guys who was there was walking out and he said he's gone and our other friend is inside waiting for you. Now, I decided I'm anm not going to let him push me around. So I went back last week and one of the girls asked me what happened and I said I don't need to go into but I'm going to keep coming in here and that's that. She said yes you should and I respect you for not trying to tear someone else down. So, I thought it would be fine but then he comes up behind my back and says I want to talk to you in a softer tone this time but not nicely. So I said, "why so you can get in my face like last time, I don't think so. I didn't even turn around and he walked away no one said anything. I think he will leave me alone now. But, I don't get it. He wasn't trying to call me. Why was he in my face? I feel better now that I got that out of the way and his guy friends came over in front of him and gave me a kiss hello and asked how I was so I think it's going to be ok. Thanks for all that have read and responded to my silly little saga.
Msblueyes Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 So I was thinking about the comments he said to me and how he said I wasn't traditional enough and was looking for someone with more virtue which didn't make any sense. It's obvious that he just wanted out and said stupid things like that so he could get rid of me. I don't know why I was so focused on the content of what he said I guess my head was spinning cause I didn't get it. But since he has not bothered to call or apologize It's clear to me he just wanted to dump my a**. Trying to get over the fact that I gave this guy a chance who should have been jumping for joy that a woman like me gave him a chance. And still struggling with that fact that he chose to attack my character rather than just be straight with me. Why would someone put me down istead of just say hey I want to move on? Any thought from anyone? Thanks. My about to be x has called me everything under the sun as well as the "c" word. I think it's because they try to drive you away by their behavior when there is no other reason they can't leave except their own guilt. It makes it easier for them to stop the realtionship. My soon to be x has touched me in two months and has been increasingly distant. I'm the one to start something so I did, for the past two weeks and I feel he wanted me to be the one to act like an idiot so it makes it easy for him to leave; in other words, I gave him a reason. I'm nuts. Gee, when I met him seven years ago (at age 38) I wasn't nuts, I had everything. And, have nearly lost everything due to his past behavior, drug addictions, etc. Sometimes men just can't say I don't want to be with us, but they tell us in the little ways. I have to go with that for my own sanity.
Spinderella Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Sound like he has a BIG inferiority complex, and he's trying to put it onto you. I agree with the other poster, what an a'hole!
Reactor Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Nothing wrong with being a sexual person. Nothing at all. My ex said this sort of stuff to me as well, I was too 'physical' as she put it. I guess we just show our love for someone in a different way, which is foreign to some people. :/ And yeah, I'd say your boyfriend has some problems and you're better off away from him (for your own sanity).
norajane Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Anti-depressants and drug for adhd and sleep aids at night are daily consumed by him. Anti-depressants can kill a person's sex drive. And at his age, he might also be having erection problems. My guess is he's not being honest about what the problem is - and he's saying a bunch of crap so he doesn't have to face that the problem is within his body.
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