Centar13 Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Ok without going into a big long story... yes i'm married! I have a crush on my client who also has a crush on me. Everytime I would go to his office he would flirt with me - sit real close to me, rub my shoulders, put his hand on my leg, etc... One night I saw him out with my friends - he and his friends hung out with us we danced real close but no kisses. That night he openly said he couldn't do anything with me since i'm married. OK I accept it. As I was leaving - I couldn't take our near miss kisses all night - so I finally said - "just kiss me already". And he did - I LOVE IT! We talked via email/text couple of days later - about that night.. we both said all is good - basically don't feel awkward about working at his office. HERE COMES THE PROBLEM! I was giving (2) of my (4) NFL tickets away as a client appreciation - so I email all my clients including the crush client - about my appreciation and the first to email/call/text - gets the tickets... well my crush was the first to get the tickets... now I told him in the past i have 4 tickets - So basically.. when I reminded him I have 4 tickets and I am going to the game - he asked was he sitting with me and my husband - I said yes... he said "well you love sitting next to my friend .. I'll be sitting in another section" Now I have to tell husband - No this isn't my client - he gave the tickets away!! I told my client I was sorry - I thought you knew - but the tickets are his to do what he pleases... So I went to his office this week.. and guess what?? ALL FLIRTING HAS STOPPED!! MY QUESTION IS...... if he kissed me and it meant nothing to him then why would he get so upset about the NFL game? - Note!! the game is this weekend... I don't want flirting to end - I felt soooo alive - I dont want to go back to feeling dead inside any advice??????
whichwayisup Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Uhh, are you a therapist or something? How is he your client? Either way it is wrong and you're married! Fix whatever it is in your own marriage, go to counselling. Flirting with another man, let alone kissing him is NOT going to make things easier, it will complicate it!
IpAncA Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 I don't want flirting to end - I felt soooo alive - I dont want to go back to feeling dead inside any advice?????? Yeah divorce you SO first and then do what your seeking. Your married and your SO shouldn't be kept in the dark. Either way it is wrong and you're married! Fix whatever it is in your own marriage, go to counselling. Flirting with another man, let alone kissing him is NOT going to make things easier, it will complicate it! Yep.
Mr. Lucky Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 any advice?????? I'll bet your other 2 tickets that you're not going to get the advice here that the breathless tone of your post would imply you were seeking. Are you really asking LS'ers here whether you should cheat on your husband AND then humiliate him by having him sit next to your lover at a sporting event? Do I understand your question? Mr. Lucky
whichwayisup Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 And I still wanna know what 'client' is. As in Dr/Patient, therapist/Client? What?
Author Centar13 Posted September 14, 2007 Author Posted September 14, 2007 I wouldn't be on my two lower level NFL tickets. and my client isn't my lover. he is just someone whom makes me feel like a women, something my husband doesn't do. My husband was raised by Edeth and Archer Bunker! so you can imagine the negetive and yelling I must receive from him. I'm just loving the attention from someone else. All my husband knows how to do is yell, put down and have negetive sense of humor. We really shouldn't be married... but I got married becuase we had a baby. so to answer your question I would never humilate my husband or at least never embarrass him like he embarrasses me by yelling at me public. Client - business related - accounting why question was... why did my client get so upset over the tickets - if the kiss didn't mean anything to him - or did it?
IamASelfishSOB Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 I wouldn't be on my two lower level NFL tickets. and my client isn't my lover. he is just someone whom makes me feel like a women, something my husband doesn't do. My husband was raised by Edeth and Archer Bunker! so you can imagine the negetive and yelling I must receive from him. I'm just loving the attention from someone else. All my husband knows how to do is yell, put down and have negetive sense of humor. We really shouldn't be married... but I got married becuase we had a baby. so to answer your question I would never humilate my husband or at least never embarrass him like he embarrasses me by yelling at me public. Client - business related - accounting why question was... why did my client get so upset over the tickets - if the kiss didn't mean anything to him - or did it? Wow. You're going to love it here. You will find out quickly that this is not the place that you come to find support and advice on how to feed your emotional affair and cheat on your husband. If that is your intent, you may need to find a different forum.
directx Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 I wouldn't be on my two lower level NFL tickets. and my client isn't my lover. he is just someone whom makes me feel like a women, something my husband doesn't do. My husband was raised by Edeth and Archer Bunker! so you can imagine the negetive and yelling I must receive from him. I'm just loving the attention from someone else. All my husband knows how to do is yell, put down and have negetive sense of humor. We really shouldn't be married... but I got married becuase we had a baby. so to answer your question I would never humilate my husband or at least never embarrass him like he embarrasses me by yelling at me public. Client - business related - accounting why question was... why did my client get so upset over the tickets - if the kiss didn't mean anything to him - or did it? Congrats mentioning Edith Bunker! (I thought only I did that! She is soo hot...) Um, I think he is ignoring you because Answer: You had an opportunity to be alone with him on a date and instead you bring your H. Thus, he feels that you are not on the same level as he is, and feels rejected/embarassed/used. It's not your fault. If you want him back, simply explain your feelings and how you want it to continue. He'll go right back to smooching you. On a side note, welcome to the dead feeling. I think everyone that feels 'dead' in a relationship should put that word in their signature so we all know who we are.
directx Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Wow. You're going to love it here. You will find out quickly that this is not the place that you come to find support and advice on how to feed your emotional affair and cheat on your husband. If that is your intent, you may need to find a different forum. i won't judge ya! I'll actually defend ya if i find it entertaining enough
redfathom Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Divorce your H, then you can kiss whom ever you want.
Author Centar13 Posted September 14, 2007 Author Posted September 14, 2007 dead here... thanks for reading and your comments - and I can't express my feelings to client... I don't want to scare him away. I guess I'll see Sunday if he passes the tickets on to a friend! centar13
Author Centar13 Posted September 14, 2007 Author Posted September 14, 2007 directx - thanks for defending and I hope I can entertain you centar13
1unrulygirl Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Yes - your kiss meant something. It meant that he "crossed the line" of what HE considers proper behavior. He told you that he wouldn't pursue anything because you were married. Probably due to the lack of inhabition brought on by alcohol, he let himself get caught up and kissed you. Now, he doesn't want to meet your husband. He would probably feel like he needs to assauge his guilt by apologizing for his bad behavior...and if he didn't apologize, he'd then have to face himself in the mirror the next day. Your client sounds like a man with a conscience - he also sounds like he has a moral compass. Flirting is ok..the rest is off limits with married women. Leave him be - his sense of self is more important than your momentary ego boost. I think your moral compass may be a little off - probably due to your husbands behavior...you might see about getting it tuned up at your local divorce attorneys office. unruly
redfathom Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Don't you think it says something that directx will defend you if he/she find's it entertaining enough, why is it he/she finds your thread/situation entertaining? I mean some people might because: 1. They are in the same boat 2. They think you are being ricidulous 3. People have a hard time turing away from car wrecks. Honestly, not that this will matter, but I hope you both find happiness in someone else arms, but watch out if that is the case becuase if you H can prove it you will pay big time. $$$ P.S. At least try to set a good example for your kid., if you don't care about your H you should about what your kid will think when they grow up.
whichwayisup Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 and I can't express my feelings to client... I don't want to scare him away. Uhh, then maybe that should be a sign that what you are doing is wrong. Allowing feelings to happen! That and HE IS YOUR CLIENT so I'm sure it's against the rules. You could lose your practice or be in a lawsuit.
Cobra_X30 Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 So, why stay in a dead marraige. Your never going to be happy! Dont you deserve to be happy? Do you want to raise a child with that kind of father? I'm so sorry your in this situation!
directx Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Actually, I don't judge! And I only find it entertaining not because of the poster but all the people that feel holier-than-thou casting stones on her. THAT's the entertaining part. Is what Centar13 going through right? Probably not. But it is human. And I'll defend her against pompous judgment with pleasure. (And you know what? In addition to the 'count' in my signature, I'm going to be the first to put a 'dead' status in my signature!)
Author Centar13 Posted September 14, 2007 Author Posted September 14, 2007 Don't you think it says something that directx will defend you if he/she find's it entertaining enough, why is it he/she finds your thread/situation entertaining? I mean some people might because: 1. They are in the same boat 2. They think you are being ricidulous 3. People have a hard time turing away from car wrecks. Honestly, not that this will matter, but I hope you both find happiness in someone else arms, but watch out if that is the case becuase if you H can prove it you will pay big time. $$$ P.S. At least try to set a good example for your kid., if you don't care about your H you should about what your kid will think when they grow up. its so easy to judge..but is it so wrong to feel good for once! for 10 years I felt dead inside. And one might say..."maybe you should tell you husband" yes I did tell him, I expressed to him what I need, how I need to feel like a woman, how i resent him when he puts me down, yells at me etc. For the sake of my children I stayed in this marriage..but now I feel like i'm a terrible mother because i have such anger and resentment in me towards their father. so somebody finally put a smile on my face and won't feel guilty about it. although I know i crossed the line with the kiss...but H doesn't feel guilty for making me cry all the time
whichwayisup Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 but is it so wrong to feel good for once! It is when you're married. It is when the guy you're crushing on and attracted to, and kissing is YOUR CLIENT. I am not judging you, I am using COMMON SENSE. If you are so unhappy with your husband, TELL HIM what you've been up to and maybe you two can divorce. Why stay married to someone who makes you miserable? Or, get yourselves to marriage counselling and FIX the marriage instead of cheating on him. Again, I am not judging you, just using common sense.
directx Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 its so easy to judge..but is it so wrong to feel good for once! for 10 years I felt dead inside. And one might say..."maybe you should tell you husband" yes I did tell him, I expressed to him what I need, how I need to feel like a woman, how i resent him when he puts me down, yells at me etc. For the sake of my children I stayed in this marriage..but now I feel like i'm a terrible mother because i have such anger and resentment in me towards their father. so somebody finally put a smile on my face and won't feel guilty about it. although I know i crossed the line with the kiss...but H doesn't feel guilty for making me cry all the time You have to clear about what drove you to a kiss/EA. Otherwise it makes you look like a loose hussy. What people that haven't had EA's don't understand what its like to be married yet lonely so they get all angry on you. I understand Centar13. But you do have stuff to consider! (PS: I changed (dead) to (86'd) because my LS 'friend' complained... 86'd is nicer and a little more mysterious anyway)
redfathom Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 People can choose to judge or not, while I think kissing another man while you are married is wrong, I also think you should leave your marriage if you are not happy and are not willing to try to fix it, or the other person is not willing to try and fix it. Which is what my first post stated. Look, you act like you don't have a choice, do you know how many kids have divorced parents, my parents are divorced and they both have funtional happy marriages now. They divorced when I was six but you know what did set an example for me, that they cheated on each other, now I have trust issues. However, with both my parents being remarried they have, now, a good relationship, growing up we still celebrated holidays together. My dad would come over to my moms (even after she married) and they still speak to there old in laws. Shoot at my nephews b-day my dad and step-dad hung out taking my neice on the rides at the park. That's what makes them both great parents. Don't burn any bridges with the father of your child. Walk away with your dignity.
redfathom Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 I posted on here, exactly that, directx, that I am married and I feel lonely. I do understand what canter13 is going through.
directx Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 People can choose to judge or not, while I think kissing another man while you are married is wrong, I also think you should leave your marriage if you are not happy and are not willing to try to fix it, or the other person is not willing to try and fix it. Which is what my first post stated. Look, you act like you don't have a choice, do you know how many kids have divorced parents, my parents are divorced and they both have funtional happy marriages now. They divorced when I was six but you know what did set an example for me, that they cheated on each other, now I have trust issues. However, with both my parents being remarried they have, now, a good relationship, growing up we still celebrated holidays together. My dad would come over to my moms (even after she married) and they still speak to there old in laws. Shoot at my nephews b-day my dad and step-dad hung out taking my neice on the rides at the park. That's what makes them both great parents. Don't burn any bridges with the father of your child. Walk away with your dignity. You are very lucky to have a good divorce. I honestly don't know of any but I am sure they exist. The ones around me are constant custody fights and parent manipulation, money issues, using one spouse against the other, etc. Like marriages, divorces can go bad as well! Boy, life is a crap shoot! Centaur, you DO have to consider the consquences of your actions! Picture a worst case scenario and be prepared!
IpAncA Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 but H doesn't feel guilty for making me cry all the time Sounds like there's more to this story then you're letting on.
directx Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Sounds like there's more to this story then you're letting on. Either that or he loves cutting onions around her. Yes Centar, fill us in please.
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