Alexandra-Girl Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 How many of you, ladies, have had the "beautiful (sarcastic)" encounter of a male, who you were interested in considerably, take YOUR hand and placing it on THEIR nether-region? Bare in mind, this occurs while NOT being in a relationship with the man but just casually dating once or twice to get to know eachother better? I'm guessing the rate is about 70% or higher. It has happened to ALL my girlfriends at some time, as per our banter tonight. Specifically, I had this happen to me a few nights back and I must say I was appalled and my interest plummeted rapidly. How can a man refer to himself as a 'nice guy' who is highly interested in you, yet do something only a slimeball would do! Nice guy my arse:mad:. If I was a nice guy - I would go kick these types of guys' arses for using the nice guy line. No wonder women can't tell the difference between shy, nice, jerk, and player. Seriously, does he think that I need guidance to that region? Does he think that this would turn me on to him more? Does he think that I would RESPECT him for conducting himself in such a way, which I am sure he has done with OTHER women on first and second encounters? There are degrees of aggressiveness and that is way over the top! I'm a grown lady and if I want to venture there, I SHOULD BE the one to go there on my own vulition and on my own terms - when I feel I WANT TO! But then again, to some men out there, I guess I would now be considered a c*ck-blocker. A good lady who won't settle for mediocre substance gets labelled the 'tease' for asserting what SHE deserves. How pathetic! Geesh, where has the courtship gone in today's society? Seriously!
Trialbyfire Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Bare in mind, Was that a Freudian typo? No, it's never happened to me. Only of my own volition.
amber1 Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Yeah, I've had a guy do this, but it was when we were kissing. To be honest, I have never thought much about it. It's never bothered me...
popey Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 I really think that many guys have had experineces that tell them that this is not innappropriate, and for some women its not. But I also think there are many men who simply would not pull that move, and would feel it was to forward and/or disrespectful. If the latter is what you want, you should hold out for it, and they are out there. Another option, if you find it acceptable; is to try telling the "hand mover" how you feel about that. I imagine some will never call again, and others will feel embarrased, apologize, and adjust their behavoir.
burning 4 revenge Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 I had a guy do this, but it was okay because he was family
Citizen Erased Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 I had a guy do this, but it was okay because he was family Yeah I have, but just shows how mature the guy is who does it.
nicki Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 If a guy does it after much sexual banter and you've spent a good amount of time together, kissed, etc...then I'd view it as progress, BUT, after one or two dates of just getting to know someone, it's extremely rude and borders on sexual harrassment in my book. A guy doing that should tell you all you need to know about him....Bye bye, pervert. Actually, something similar did happen to me once. I looked the guy in the eye and said "Hmm, thought it would be bigger." Then I took my hand away and left. Later, I wondered if I should have shown him my shock and explained how offensive he was acting....but then I thought: Why educate a loser on how inappropriate that was? An insult worked quite well. Anyway, what about the guys who grab your ass or graze your breast (accidently, of course)?
MartianChronicles Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Actually, something similar did happen to me once. I looked the guy in the eye and said "Hmm, thought it would be bigger." :laugh:
sweetbutcheeky Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Yup I have had this happen before too. I don't personally like it, because I will go there when I want to thanks. It's not like I wasn't sure if you had one and you needed to show me! Though I think it depends on the situation. One the first or second date and nothing sexual is going on and all of a sudden your hand is being put somewhere! Bye bye Though if your kissing and touching each other I can see that it can be their way of possibly showing you they are turned on or showing you that they would like some attention in that region. I don't like it but not sure about being offended. I will just pull my hand away and put it else where, show them I will go there when I feel like it.
Krytellan Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Guys really do this huh? Interesting...
Reckless Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 not with a one or two date guy. I would be tempted to do a bobbit ... I guess I'm one of the 30%. I should get out more, but then again if I wanted to grope a total stranger I would do the pizza delivery boy, at least then I'd get extra pepperoni ... or extra, extra pepperoni. Or pepperoni with my the pepperoni... enough of these metaphores... sausage with my pepperoni?
Trialbyfire Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 not with a one or two date guy. I would be tempted to do a bobbit ... I guess I'm one of the 30%. I should get out more, but then again if I wanted to grope a total stranger I would do the pizza delivery boy, at least then I'd get extra pepperoni ... or extra, extra pepperoni. Or pepperoni with my the pepperoni... enough of these metaphores... sausage with my pepperoni? Early dating is like a pizza. The pepperoni stays firmly on the other half of the pizza.
Author Alexandra-Girl Posted September 15, 2007 Author Posted September 15, 2007 You ladies crack me up. I love the banter and I love the metaphors... Yes there was heated kissing involved but I was off-put by his implication of such an overt action. Heated kissing isn't an implied free-pass to put MY hand on his sausage (:lmao:). I wasn't there for a sausage fest, and it sucks because I have known him for quite some time and always thought he had a lot of integrity in his character. This bold 'get it while it's hot' move registered in my mind as if he believed I was looking for much more action on a FIRST date. I'm not that kind of woman, but maybe that is the usual for him. I certainly won't exchange my moral standards for his interest. We are adults and I do know my way around a man's anatomy quite well at my age. I would think a man would find it more exciting to know that the woman is venturing to the 'meat bin' all on her own because SHE wants to endulge a little. In all honesty, it instantly changed my opinion of his seriousness about me, what form of relationship would develop - if any, and I ran with gut instinct. I'm now fully in the uncertainty phase of "is this man looking for a quick shag, or was he just turned on so much that he would wait until I said NO MORE?" I can't tell if I was valued, or undervalued - err. I guess his next actions will tell me more about his intent - and of course, if the sausage will be enjoyed:laugh:
kymberann Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 Bare in mind Another pun!! Never happened to me, but the ass grabber guy. I have had a few of those and they are downright nasty!
tinktronik Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 I have never had this happen. Although I would suspect that it is simply an attempt to express "excitement" to the female counterpoint. I however have had many many times the s/o's friends accuaintences graze my azz while saying goodbye or giving a hug or whatever so its either gotten too big or its intentional . I should post about this ...hmm
tama Posted September 16, 2007 Posted September 16, 2007 Now that I think about it, that did happen to me once. We were already going out for a while though and I think we were talking about size and I guess he wanted to keep me interested by letting me know how big he was (men and their egos XD)... but that's all there was to it It kind of surprised me though because he was supposed to be a good little catholic boy I wasn't offended or anything though because he wasn't trying to start anything, it was just what he happened to be talking about... Yeah, we were stupid high school kids who happened to be locked in a friend's dark basement because he wasn't supposed to have people over And now, I'm still with him after 2.5 years
Trialbyfire Posted September 16, 2007 Posted September 16, 2007 Yeah, we were stupid high school kids who happened to be locked in a friend's dark basement because he wasn't supposed to have people over Doctor?
shadowplay Posted September 16, 2007 Posted September 16, 2007 Uh, isn't it fairly common for guys to do this when you're actually dating and sexually active, though? Every guy I've dated has done this at some point or another.
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