simplegirl Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 My MM's W has turned his cell phone off several times because she was mad and we felt like it was a matter of time until it happened again. Not ever because she finds anything on it, just because that's one of her ways of acting out. About a month ago I added another cell phone to my plan that way if she shut his off again he could use the extra phone. He has to have a phone for work. Well, about a week after I got it he couldn't find his phone and she went out of town for the weekend. He needed a phone for work so he took my extra phone. She came back, he found his phone....fast forward to now. I never got the other phone from him. Today I called him and told him that I needed it and he said ok then started going on about a phone being broke but I couldn't make any sense out of what he was saying. He called me a little while later and said he left the sim card at my house so I started to question where my phone was. He said he would give me his (which is actually mine too but that's another story). We went back and forth and then he said that he just didn't want to tell me the truth but he can't lie to me. His W is using my phone! That is so twisted! He said they got in a fight and her's broke so he gave her that one to use because she needs a phone since she has the kids all day. Ok, I get that but my phone! I asked him if he told her it was his GF phone. Now it looks like I'm not getting it back! Not only that but it is registered in my name so if she was really curious as to where he got it all she has to do is call the cell company, right?
BestAdvisor1 Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 There is so much "wrong" about this post that I don't even know where to begin. Stop being casual about getting involved with a MM; you're wrecking a home where kids are involved.
norajane Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 He obviously got caught with your phone and had to give it to his wife, because he probably lied and told her he got another phone when she had shut his off. She doesn't know it's yours. What's wrong with him? Why did he need you to give him a phone? Why can't he get his own phone? And what's wrong with you - you are paying his wife's cell bill now?
Cad Rake Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 haha I agree with Bestadvisor about so much being wrong about this, but unlike him/her I won't judge you on your choices re the affair. I WILL judge you on your choices in giving the dude phones. That's silly and ridiculous. I'd like to get married just so I could start an affair with you because you're so generous. Do you pay his wife's car payments too? Honey the guy is lying to you and using you. First think you got to do is shut off that phone
popey Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 then he said that he just didn't want to tell me the truth but he can't lie to me. His W is using my phone! That is so twisted! .... I'm sorry, but it is highly unlikely that he "can't lie to you". YOU ARE THE OTHER WOMAN. If you are in his life, (unless he has an open marriage, which is clearly not that case) he is A LIAR. His wife is not important enough to him to be honest, loyal and faithful to her. And you are still less important, as evidenced by his choice to give her your phone. When faced with the situation of having to fess up to her, or make you feel particularly insignificant. He choice - diss you. I'm not trying to take a "holier than thow" attitude. Just think you are missing the reality. Seems like you are looking for some pseudo level of respect, honesty and boundaries in the kind of relationship and with the kind of person with which this is not realistic. Bottom line, IMO, he is with you BECAUSE he has no care or respect for the feelings of the women he enjoys. That is the nature of many (maybe most- not sure) relationships/character of cheaters.
upto_here Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 haha I agree with Bestadvisor about so much being wrong about this, but unlike him/her I won't judge you on your choices re the affair. I WILL judge you on your choices in giving the dude phones. That's silly and ridiculous. I'd like to get married just so I could start an affair with you because you're so generous. Do you pay his wife's car payments too? Honey the guy is lying to you and using you. First think you got to do is shut off that phone ;)first... i really like your O ..its spot on..CR.!!! this guys is just a liar..as all mm do ...if they can lie to their w why not you?..... with this phone things its just so wrong... been there thats why i can say this...not that i bought his cell but he used another sim card on his phone because his w had caught him with the phone bill its all my number..*(i dn't know if its tru though or he just find his way out))) he used that for a few weeks and after that before the d day..and he said he could not take all the situation and keep up with the double life...well !!! thats said it all don't you think? don't be too harsh on this.... get out of this R ..i dn't think you can take more...don't you think?...
whichwayisup Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Ask yourself WHY you're wasting your precious life away for some MM who is still married with children.... HE is in NO position to make you ANY promises - He is still married.
luvmy2ns Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 My MM's W has turned his cell phone off several times because she was mad and we felt like it was a matter of time until it happened again. Not ever because she finds anything on it, just because that's one of her ways of acting out. About a month ago I added another cell phone to my plan that way if she shut his off again he could use the extra phone. He has to have a phone for work. Well, about a week after I got it he couldn't find his phone and she went out of town for the weekend. He needed a phone for work so he took my extra phone. She came back, he found his phone....fast forward to now. I never got the other phone from him. Today I called him and told him that I needed it and he said ok then started going on about a phone being broke but I couldn't make any sense out of what he was saying. He called me a little while later and said he left the sim card at my house so I started to question where my phone was. He said he would give me his (which is actually mine too but that's another story). We went back and forth and then he said that he just didn't want to tell me the truth but he can't lie to me. His W is using my phone! That is so twisted! He said they got in a fight and her's broke so he gave her that one to use because she needs a phone since she has the kids all day. Ok, I get that but my phone! I asked him if he told her it was his GF phone. Now it looks like I'm not getting it back! Not only that but it is registered in my name so if she was really curious as to where he got it all she has to do is call the cell company, right? LMFAOROF:lmao: You seriously don't get it, do you? OMG!
RealityCheck Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Why on earth would you get him a cell phone to begin with? Ho-ly! That would be a frosty friday before I ever did that! It's not like he is paying any of your expenses. Sheeeeeeeeeeeesh
TogetherForever Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Call your cell phone & ask if you can pick it up. Tell her you lost it & would like it back. Or call the cell phone co. & have service temorarily suspended til you get it back. You put out money for the phone & now your paying for her phone calls.
Author simplegirl Posted September 14, 2007 Author Posted September 14, 2007 First let me start by saying I am not paying anyone's bills! The cell phone that he is using is my old one, he put his sim card in it. He's had that one for awhile because I had gotten a new one. The one she is using is one I added to my plan with a new sim card. She has her sim card in the phone and I have my sim card. He told her he got the phone from a guy at work.
luvmy2ns Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 First let me start by saying I am not paying anyone's bills! The cell phone that he is using is my old one, he put his sim card in it. He's had that one for awhile because I had gotten a new one. The one she is using is one I added to my plan with a new sim card. She has her sim card in the phone and I have my sim card. He told her he got the phone from a guy at work. How is this "not paying anyone's bills?"
Author simplegirl Posted September 14, 2007 Author Posted September 14, 2007 The bill that I pay is for my sim cards. I have all my sim cards. She is using the free phone that came with the me adding another line.
luvmy2ns Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 The bill that I pay is for my sim cards. I have all my sim cards. She is using the free phone that came with the me adding another line. So you added a phone line to your bill, gave it to the guy you're screwing, but he was paying the bill? That makes no sense. And by the way, the guy is so obviously using you.
underpants Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Looks like you gave away your phone. What else are you giving away???
whichwayisup Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Well, your MM screwed up and told a lie. Now you won't get your phone back, ever. So, you have a choice, get him to buy you another phone or let this go...He isn't going to ask his wife for the phone back.
Author simplegirl Posted September 14, 2007 Author Posted September 14, 2007 So you added a phone line to your bill, gave it to the guy you're screwing, but he was paying the bill? That makes no sense. And by the way, the guy is so obviously using you. Ok, I guess I have to break it all the way down. I have my cell phone with my sim card. I got a new cell phone so I took my sim card out of my old phone. He is using my old phone with his sim card that he pays the bill for. I added another line to my bill, I got the sim card and the free phone. He needed to use that phone one weekend so I gave it to him, the phone and the sim card that I pay for. I got my sim card back but not the phone. He pays his bill for his card/s and I pay the bill for my cards. does it make more sense now?
luvmy2ns Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Ok, I guess I have to break it all the way down. I have my cell phone with my sim card. I got a new cell phone so I took my sim card out of my old phone. He is using my old phone with his sim card that he pays the bill for. I added another line to my bill, I got the sim card and the free phone. He needed to use that phone one weekend so I gave it to him, the phone and the sim card that I pay for. I got my sim card back but not the phone. He pays his bill for his card/s and I pay the bill for my cards. does it make more sense now? Sure, but even if the phone was "free" it's no longer yours. You paid, whether in bills or in loss of an item. And the fact that this guy is trying so desperately to hide the fact of "you" makes it painfully clear that you'll never be anything more to him than a piece on the side. Don't you have more respect for yourself than that? And this isn't a morallity issue, it's one of you knowing what you want and what you are willing to allow just for the sake of having this loser in your life.
Cad Rake Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 I wonder why the OW always thinks the MM loves her. Seems universal.
TogetherForever Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 I wonder why the OW always thinks the MM loves her. Seems universal. Most know. Only a few think that their man loves them. TF
luvmy2ns Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Seriously, I truly believe only a very few "know" and most "think." Otherwise why are there so many OW/OM who continue to be so for years and years? Their lovers would have left their marriages for them by now rather than making excuse after excuse after excuse and continuing to hide the affair. And please don't think I'm projecting this onto your situation. It's just an observation as a general rule.
TogetherForever Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Seriously, I truly believe only a very few "know" and most "think." Otherwise why are there so many OW/OM who continue to be so for years and years? Their lovers would have left their marriages for them by now rather than making excuse after excuse after excuse and continuing to hide the affair. And please don't think I'm projecting this onto your situation. It's just an observation as a general rule. Oooops! I need to reverse the "know" & "think". (I was too busy thinking about 50's clothing) Sorry! TF
Cad Rake Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 like I said.. wonder why so many OW FIRMLY BELIEVE that their MM loves them. I'm betting there aren't a whole lot of OW out there to go "Yeah, he just wants some p00n on the side, and I'm that p00n." Guess it would burst their fantasy bubble?
luvmy2ns Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 lol I know how fun plans can totally take over your thoughts. I do hope the OP gets hold of herself and dumps this guy. Women (and men in the same position) need to refuse to accept being treated like nothing more than an amusing distraction.
reboot Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Ok, I guess I have to break it all the way down. I have my cell phone with my sim card. I got a new cell phone so I took my sim card out of my old phone. He is using my old phone with his sim card that he pays the bill for. I added another line to my bill, I got the sim card and the free phone. He needed to use that phone one weekend so I gave it to him, the phone and the sim card that I pay for. I got my sim card back but not the phone. He pays his bill for his card/s and I pay the bill for my cards. does it make more sense now? We "understand" what you're saying. We're just not dumb enough to buy into it. Why are you even asking for advice? If you're content with being treated like this, then that's your right. Trying to convince everyone here that it's "ok" isn't gaining you anything. You know deep down you're being used.
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