EmotionallyYours Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 OK...on lighter side of things... but I AM kind of serious too. I have been with my H for 17 years and he has never farted in front of me. Is that weird? I just bugs me...lol...
whichwayisup Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 OMFG!!! I can't stop laughing! My H isn't a farter, but I AM! (Very proud of it too) He isn't comfy doing it, but will once in a while just to make a point to me that he DOES infact fart and they can be JUST as stinky as mine. He prefers not to fart, does it alone, if he needs to. I do the opposite (like a roll reversal, like I'm the guy who farts and he's the woman who goes ewwwwww!) and let it go whenever I feel like it and laugh about it too! On demand! LMAO! Have you asked him why he won't fart infront of you?
Mustang Sally Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 Good Night! How does he get by with that? I'd think he'd feel bloated CONSTANTLY. Or does he just go to the bathroom a lot??? As dysfunctional as H and I are...we got over the bodily fluids/function/noises stuff before we were even married.... Maybe we are just gross and sick?
Author EmotionallyYours Posted September 13, 2007 Author Posted September 13, 2007 OMFG!!! I can't stop laughing! My H isn't a farter, but I AM! (Very proud of it too) He isn't comfy doing it, but will once in a while just to make a point to me that he DOES infact fart and they can be JUST as stinky as mine. He prefers not to fart, does it alone, if he needs to. I do the opposite (like a roll reversal, like I'm the guy who farts and he's the woman who goes ewwwwww!) and let it go whenever I feel like it and laugh about it too! On demand! LMAO! Have you asked him why he won't fart infront of you? He never answers me...lol.. He also hates it if I pee w/ the door open. I have NEVER seem or heard him do number 1 or 2. He runs water...lol
whichwayisup Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 Yeah, I lay down in the hallway and talk to my H while he's having a dump, door open and all. We pee infront of eachother, no big deal. LOL! Runs the water while's going pee or poops. This is so funny, and I too, come from a proud of family of farters!! WTF is wrong with our men?
a4a Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 I suggest you make him a romantic mexican dinner..... load up on the beans. Then hold his hand look him in the eye and discuss this matter. My H hid his farts for 2 years....... unreal. Stupid. We all fart...... Of course I would not rip one with gusto like I did last night at the opera. But I will rip one at the market if nobody is around but him and then run like hell. In private I might say "oh look there is a moose on the hill" and point out the window- he looks and I fart and say " did you hear that moose?" He tooted so loud last night while we were waiting for the dog to pee.... I thought he pooped himself...... he was so proud! 2 years...... finally he is sharing his farts with me!
a4a Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 Yeah, I lay down in the hallway and talk to my H while he's having a dump, door open and all. We pee infront of eachother, no big deal. LOL! Runs the water while's going pee or poops. This is so funny, and I too, come from a proud of family of farters!! WTF is wrong with our men? The are audiosphincterly challenged...... fartaphobic?
Mustang Sally Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 We have farting contests at our house...Kids, dogs, cats, chickens - All can participate. H and I poop and pee in front of each other. Very "open" household... (Maybe this has something to do with why we have M issues??? Nah...) EY - I like a4a's suggestion about the mexican dinner...
Author EmotionallyYours Posted September 13, 2007 Author Posted September 13, 2007 I suggest you make him a romantic mexican dinner..... load up on the beans. Then hold his hand look him in the eye and discuss this matter. My H hid his farts for 2 years....... unreal. Stupid. We all fart...... Of course I would not rip one with gusto like I did last night at the opera. But I will rip one at the market if nobody is around but him and then run like hell. In private I might say "oh look there is a moose on the hill" and point out the window- he looks and I fart and say " did you hear that moose?" He tooted so loud last night while we were waiting for the dog to pee.... I thought he pooped himself...... he was so proud! 2 years...... finally he is sharing his farts with me! Kasan said in the other thread: "Yes, EY. Cause the explosion." This could be for both threads... ROTFLMAO...
Mustang Sally Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 "Yes, EY. Cause the explosion." Exactly! Keep us posted...
marriedandsad Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 LMFAO! This had me laughing =^) I would NOT fart in front of my H when we were dating. Then one time when I had my period and we were spooning on the bed watching a movie a really nasty period fart slipped out and it was history from there. I swear he jumped so high he almost fell off the bed LOL!! NOW I have no issues with bodily functions. He teases me because sometimes I clog the toilet, so now I just don't flush and make SURE he goes in right afterwards. He'll come out of the bathroom and all you hear me shout from the bedroom is "Did you spray?". I swear it's a running joke with us. I fart with the best of them and so does he. man...17 years...LOL!
a4a Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 Or comment if they have left a "turddle" in the toilet...... "honey, you forgot to say goodbye to one of the kids you dropped at the pool"
Trialbyfire Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 Y'all are twisted. :laugh: EY, be thankful that he respects the air you have to breath. If he starts to pick up a beer and/or a bowl of baked beans, offer him wine and cheese, as a more healthy choice.
Kasan Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 Thank God for this thread!!!! Time for some brevity. Enough doom and gloom!!!!!! So when I first dated my husband he would go out into the hallway to fart. Guess he was afraid of offending my sensibilities. Yeah whatever! Then the first year of marriage he chased me around the house naked, guess he thought he was going to try farting on my head. Good thing I ran faster than him or I suppose I could have let him try and take a bite out of something ..... What a f***tard!
whichwayisup Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 My H thinks dutchovens are: I fart and he pulls the covers over my head! I had to explain to him that HE has to be the one to fart, THEN pull the covers over my head!
a4a Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 My H thinks dutchovens are: I fart and he pulls the covers over my head! I had to explain to him that HE has to be the one to fart, THEN pull the covers over my head! :lmao: oh silly man........ WW have you ever lit one up? I think I will for New Years this year.
Author EmotionallyYours Posted September 13, 2007 Author Posted September 13, 2007 My H thinks dutchovens are: I fart and he pulls the covers over my head! I had to explain to him that HE has to be the one to fart, THEN pull the covers over my head! I'm sending him over to your house for a week... how much is tuition?
whichwayisup Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 Yes, I have lit one up. So has my sister! We're notorious for doing that type of stuff!
Lizzie60 Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 I suggest you make him a romantic mexican dinner..... load up on the beans. Then hold his hand look him in the eye and discuss this matter. My H hid his farts for 2 years....... unreal. Stupid. We all fart...... Of course I would not rip one with gusto like I did last night at the opera. But I will rip one at the market if nobody is around but him and then run like hell. In private I might say "oh look there is a moose on the hill" and point out the window- he looks and I fart and say " did you hear that moose?" He tooted so loud last night while we were waiting for the dog to pee.... I thought he pooped himself...... he was so proud! 2 years...... finally he is sharing his farts with me! I am wiping the tears in my face.. I am laughing soooo hard.. people think I'm crazy... but they think I'm emailing a friend LOL... YOU ARE CRAZY... Did you try the 'pull my finger' trick? this is also fartsantic!
Lizzie60 Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 In the first year.. you say 'ooohhh... you farted sweetie?' Twenty years later 'you farted again fat pig'
Cobra_X30 Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 My H thinks dutchovens are: I fart and he pulls the covers over my head! I had to explain to him that HE has to be the one to fart, THEN pull the covers over my head! LOL... If that's what marriage is all about... I dont think I'm ever going to be ready!
ookla_2 Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 ...and I actually thought of posting this. EY, you and I think so much alike!! My problem is this. I refuse to pass gas in front of my H. It's just a preference of mine. I don't think it's prudish of me, I just find it to be unattractive, and don't want him to hear/smell anything like that coming from me. On the flip side, my H is like a seventh grade boy when it comes to bodily noises. He will fart just about anywhere, in front of just about anyone, and he will laugh his silly head off. Sometimes it really bothers me. I mean, he knows that I will go to great lengths sometimes to avoid doing that in front of him, so he knows how I feel about it, and yet he doesn't care if I find it unappealing when he does it. AND....he leaves the door open when he is going to the bathroom. I don't want to hear or smell THAT either!!! It just annoys me. (My sister is even worse. She won't even go to the bathroom...."number two"...if her husband is home....I don't know how she does that. I just go to the other bathroom)
Impudent Oyster Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 OK...on lighter side of things... but I AM kind of serious too. I have been with my H for 17 years and he has never farted in front of me. Is that weird? I just bugs me...lol... I've been married longer than you and my husband (thankfully) has never farted in front of me (at least while he's awake), and can I tell you how thankful I am for that? I appreciate his mother so much for bringing up a son with such wonderful manners. I'm trying to do the same with my sons, but they seem to think farting in front of me is the epitome of hilarity. I'm hoping they'll grow out of it. PS, I don't think anyone in my family thinks I'm capable of farting. I don't even think they know I go to the bathroom.
Author EmotionallyYours Posted September 13, 2007 Author Posted September 13, 2007 I appreciate his mother so much for bringing up a son with such wonderful manners. I'm trying to do the same with my sons, but they seem to think farting in front of me is the epitome of hilarity. I'm hoping they'll grow out of it. PS, I don't think anyone in my family thinks I'm capable of farting. I don't even think they know I go to the bathroom. My daughters are just like me... they think farting is the "the epitome of hilarity". They have the influence of my sister though too... she has a little stuffed guy that looks like my dad and when you pull its finger... well I think you know what it does... One time my sister installed a "fart machine" under the dining room table and started activating it via remote control on Thanksgiving during the prayer.
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