Crimson107 Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 It has been almost exactly a year since I confessed my wrong doing. We have worked hard but I know she feels like she has spun her wheels. How do I respect this black day coming up? I don't feel I have been a better husband. I'm glad to admit that the NC with OW has stuck and I am totally back in focus on loving my wife and family. I am not doing that distructive choice anymore or ever again. However, the financial struggles are still strangling my marriage. I am filing for bankruptsy soon, foreclose on house where I trangressed my marriage. I lost a bank account for excess negative balance. I feel like it is all slipping away still. Maybe it is my Karma for being a stupid cheating jerk. I admit I am not worthy of my wife's forgiveness. Somedays she can be more caring than I deserve and I relish the thought that she might still love me. Maybe it's just sad pity and we are just too broke for her to dump me. Affairs suck for everyone. I sometimes wonder if I should just leave because I am not worth it. All I have is my heart to give but I am broke and broken. I don't have a good secure job but I am always looking. I've got 3 jobs but barely staying ahead. I am hanging by a thread and my affair has left me completely sorry and feeling isolated from the ones I love. It's all so overwhelming and it is hard work to know where to save anything. I don't know how to let the passion burn for my wife that I yearn to share without the many other burden's of life. How long do you think my penance will last? I will face it until death do us part. If I actually get the chance again to keep my promise without life choking the rest of my marriage to death.
whichwayisup Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 C, you need to forgive yourself...It's time. Your wife has forgiven you, so if you feel you're still broken, go talk to someone, get some counselling in. Try to focus on the positives..I know, easier said than done, but you have alot to be thankful for. I am sorry that things aren't going well, but with that being said, things WILL improve. It always does...
IWALH Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 You made your bed and are now sleeping in it.
Cobra_X30 Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 You made your bed and are now sleeping in it. ?? Glass houses and stones dont mix well!
Art_Critic Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 I don't feel I have been a better husband. I'm glad to admit that the NC with OW has stuck and I am totally back in focus on loving my wife and family. I am not doing that distructive choice anymore or ever again. However, the financial struggles are still strangling my marriage. I am filing for bankruptsy soon, foreclose on house where I trangressed my marriage. I lost a bank account for excess negative balance. I feel like it is all slipping away still. Maybe it is my Karma for being a stupid cheating jerk. I admit I am not worthy of my wife's forgiveness. Somedays she can be more caring than I deserve and I relish the thought that she might still love me. Maybe it's just sad pity and we are just too broke for her to dump me. Affairs suck for everyone. I sometimes wonder if I should just leave because I am not worth it. All I have is my heart to give but I am broke and broken. I don't have a good secure job but I am always looking. I've got 3 jobs but barely staying ahead. I am hanging by a thread and my affair has left me completely sorry and feeling isolated from the ones I love. It's all so overwhelming and it is hard work to know where to save anything. I don't know how to let the passion burn for my wife that I yearn to share without the many other burden's of life. How long do you think my penance will last? I will face it until death do us part. If I actually get the chance again to keep my promise without life choking the rest of my marriage to death. Have you told your wife how you feel ?.. How about telling her the same things you posted here ?
VIP Posted September 16, 2007 Posted September 16, 2007 You cannot love other people if you don't love yourself first. Whatever you did, forgive yourself and move on. If you cannot be happy in this marriage, get out, you deserve to be happy, everybody does.
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