upto_here Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 After 7 weeks of NC and its still rolling i am getting mix emotion and i wanted to asks you guys who experience this kind of R is it normal to have this ]anger, when i said anger is just the thought and the memory flash back and all the things that ]ex mm said and done....and how dishonest he is to his other half and me...i tried every way to stop the thought ..and moving on step by step..and also letting go...if i may say this is the symptom < i don't know what to call it!! 1: the dream: its the worst one woke up and felt like crying ,and felt like its so real 2: the thought: the thought of how he not even contact ,at least to apologise for what he done 3: the anger: the anger that he stab me in the back after i been tru!! and so on..i thought of revenge but in the end i just leave it and its no good for me and the person who will get involved ..please tell me guys that it will go away...i have been move away and made and effort of the thing i don't think i can do...which i'm still trying....hard:o::)sigh:::::: once again thank you very much for you guys...
code five Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 1: the dream: its the worst one woke up and felt like crying ,and felt like its so real 2: the thought: the thought of how he not even contact ,at least to apologise for what he done 3: the anger: the anger that he stab me in the back after i been tru!! For me, the dreams were the hardest to deal with. They will begin to fade though. It just takes time. If you wake up and feel like crying, do so. A good cry will help. Get it out of your system. The thoughts will also begin to fade and so will all of the other feelings. You will begin to see the other in a different perspective than you had before. Be careful about 'Revenge' -- it will serve no purpose. Let it go and move on. You are on the right track if it's been 8 weeks. You will be OK... Not sure if this will help you, but take a look at some of these links - http://www.google.com/custom?q=Advice+for+getting+over+a+broken+heart&client=pub-8339040196862106&forid=1&ie=ISO-8859-1&oe=ISO-8859-1&cof=GALT%3A%23008000%3BGL%3A1%3BDIV%3A%23336699%3BVLC%3A663399%3BAH%3Acenter%3BBGC%3AFFFFFF%3BLBGC%3A336699%3BALC%3A0000FF%3BLC%3A0000FF%3BT%3A000000%3BGFNT%3A0000FF%3BGIMP%3A0000FF%3BFORID%3A1&hl=en
Onelife Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 After 7 weeks of NC and its still rolling i am getting mix emotion and i wanted to asks you guys who experience this kind of R is it normal to have this ]anger, when i said anger is just the thought and the memory flash back and all the things that ]ex mm said and done....and how dishonest he is to his other half and me...i tried every way to stop the thought ..and moving on step by step..and also letting go...if i may say this is the symptom < i don't know what to call it!! 1: the dream: its the worst one woke up and felt like crying ,and felt like its so real 2: the thought: the thought of how he not even contact ,at least to apologise for what he done 3: the anger: the anger that he stab me in the back after i been tru!! and so on..i thought of revenge but in the end i just leave it and its no good for me and the person who will get involved ..please tell me guys that it will go away...i have been move away and made and effort of the thing i don't think i can do...which i'm still trying....hard:o::)sigh:::::: once again thank you very much for you guys... Oh upto here, I am sorry you are going through this. Though I am not the best person who could give you an advice as I am going through a hard time myself, I do want to say that it does get better as time goes by. As for the revenge, it's a big NO NO! Like code five said, it serves no purpose. Pluse where will that take you? After whatever that revenge is done, will you REALLY be happy and over it? How about to "live well!"? As it is the best sweet revenge! I believe so and am trying to do for my everyday life. I know it's hard living with the leftover of what once called love. It's like living hell. But hey, if you find yourself walking in hell, you keep walking right? Goodluck upto! (((((((upto)))))))
Author upto_here Posted September 13, 2007 Author Posted September 13, 2007 For me, the dreams were the hardest to deal with. They will begin to fade though. It just takes time. If you wake up and feel like crying, do so. A good cry will help. Get it out of your system. The thoughts will also begin to fade and so will all of the other feelings. You will begin to see the other in a different perspective than you had before. Be careful about 'Revenge' -- it will serve no purpose. Let it go and move on. You are on the right track if it's been 8 weeks. You will be OK... Not sure if this will help you, but take a look at some of these links - http://www.google.com/custom?q=Advice+for+getting+over+a+broken+heart&client=pub-8339040196862106&forid=1&ie=ISO-8859-1&oe=ISO-8859-1&cof=GALT%3A%23008000%3BGL%3A1%3BDIV%3A%23336699%3BVLC%3A663399%3BAH%3Acenter%3BBGC%3AFFFFFF%3BLBGC%3A336699%3BALC%3A0000FF%3BLC%3A0000FF%3BT%3A000000%3BGFNT%3A0000FF%3BGIMP%3A0000FF%3BFORID%3A1&hl=en Thank you very much code five: it does help me ...i read and learned at the same time thats why i asked you guys to be my support i find that its help me in the most way and every time i open my post i know what to do..and deal with the situation..i just hope it will fade as though so many time i wanted to confronted him...theres so many unanswer question in my head...but what the point of asking isn't it? it will lead to the same path again and i have to start it all over again....i will do my best about the revenge......sigh))))))))))))))))))))))))
Author upto_here Posted September 13, 2007 Author Posted September 13, 2007 Oh upto here, I am sorry you are going through this. Though I am not the best person who could give you an advice as I am going through a hard time myself, I do want to say that it does get better as time goes by. As for the revenge, it's a big NO NO! Like code five said, it serves no purpose. Pluse where will that take you? After whatever that revenge is done, will you REALLY be happy and over it? How about to "live well!"? As it is the best sweet revenge! I believe so and am trying to do for my everyday life. I know it's hard living with the leftover of what once called love. It's like living hell. But hey, if you find yourself walking in hell, you keep walking right? Goodluck upto! (((((((upto))))))) Thank you again one life...you are always my favourite.... i knew every one had to go tru this after the break up and try to heal ourselves i knew that the revenge will do no good...its always poped up in the head but everytime it pop up now i try to do something and forget about it...even though in a short time...but it help ..bit by bit,...at least isnt, it...i felt like i'm so weak if you can remember my last posts after d day..i felt great after that...but now? !!!! ((((sigh))))whats gone wrong?.my self esteem is so low..i find it hard to communicate or even looked at the people the same race as him< he is different race as me> ....but everyday life now in general is better as i may say < in a way> ...and i am glad its over ..i know.... once again thank you for continue to be my support....and hope i'm not bored you in many ways...
Meaplus3 Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 After 7 weeks of NC and its still rolling i am getting mix emotion and i wanted to asks you guys who experience this kind of R is it normal to have this ]anger, when i said anger is just the thought and the memory flash back and all the things that ]ex mm said and done....and how dishonest he is to his other half and me...i tried every way to stop the thought ..and moving on step by step..and also letting go...if i may say this is the symptom < i don't know what to call it!! 1: the dream: its the worst one woke up and felt like crying ,and felt like its so real 2: the thought: the thought of how he not even contact ,at least to apologise for what he done 3: the anger: the anger that he stab me in the back after i been tru!! and so on..i thought of revenge but in the end i just leave it and its no good for me and the person who will get involved ..please tell me guys that it will go away...i have been move away and made and effort of the thing i don't think i can do...which i'm still trying....hard:o::)sigh:::::: once again thank you very much for you guys... Hi Uptohere, I think that all you are feeling is very normal. I found the 7 -8 week mark of NC to be the hardest for me when I first went NC with xmm. I will tell you that the crying and the dreams do fade with time. For me it was a long time, but hey that's just for me! My ea came to an offical hault this past end of April, with the last contact with xmm this past July, and I still struggle. Don't worry you will get there in your own time. How do you get past the anger? I can't answer that as it's one emotion that I still am dealing with.But I know there is hope for recovering from all this just keep the faith. Hug's! AP:)
OpenBook Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 i thought of revenge but in the end i just leave it and its no good for me and the person who will get involved ..please tell me guys that it will go away... Revenge is mine, saith the Lord. You don't have to do a d*mn thing. Let God take care of it. His revenge is so much more exquisite than ANYTHING we could ever come up with. You are hurting because you've been HAD by a man whom you loved but who didn't return the honor. IT IS NO SKIN OFF YOUR NOSE. You simply gave away too much, too soon. Time and distance are your best friends right now. This will pass. Be patient with yourself. And know that we've ALL been there, in one form or another.
Meaplus3 Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 Revenge is mine, saith the Lord. You don't have to do a d*mn thing. Let God take care of it. His revenge is so much more exquisite than ANYTHING we could ever come up with. You are hurting because you've been HAD by a man whom you loved but who didn't return the honor. IT IS NO SKIN OFF YOUR NOSE. You simply gave away too much, too soon. Time and distance are your best friends right now. This will pass. Be patient with yourself. And know that we've ALL been there, in one form or another. GREAT piece of advice Openbook, I'll be using this one!! Thank's!:) AP:)
Author upto_here Posted September 13, 2007 Author Posted September 13, 2007 whats goes around comes around!!! is that it? the answer don't you think ,i know we all been tru hell and back and some still struggling like myself....and try to figure it out the best way to deal with it....7 weeks its still early to say yet and may be even years.....!!!i hope not...i am like a kid who never been in this situation and so fed up with it.....every time i heard this song came up on the radio < its weird that every time i got in the car its always playing on the radio>>> i just leave all the thought and the anger.....times is it my friend....or i'm i pushing myself too hard.......even now i'm moved away but it ony 4o minutes away from my old house and exmm lived ....its still harder and harder...the other day when i moved all the stuff...in the car i met him on the other side of the road... i think he saw me but i did not see his reaction...because the speed of the car we both drive ..but i guess he work in a different town now...i hope its not the same town as i moved to ....finger cross. ,,,,but you know what some time i just thought i wanted to bump in to him and really wanted to see his reaction....only a thought though!!!!!!((((sigh)))))
Love is Tragic Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 Im right there with ya.. Its been about 2 and a half months of NC with my exMM and just seems to be getting more difficult to put him out of my mind. Even though im glad it ended, because it would have never worked and would hurt too many people in the process. My heart is still so tied to him in a way i cant explain. I still have these crazy fantasies that he is really "the one" and that im stuck in a dead-end marriage with my H. I never really had any closure with the NC, phone calls just kinda died off until there were none. I saw it coming, i got too emotionally involved, and i have vowed to never ever let that happen again. I will stay far away from tempting men! lol.. hang in there!!
Author upto_here Posted September 14, 2007 Author Posted September 14, 2007 Im right there with ya.. Its been about 2 and a half months of NC with my exMM and just seems to be getting more difficult to put him out of my mind. Even though im glad it ended, because it would have never worked and would hurt too many people in the process. My heart is still so tied to him in a way i cant explain. I still have these crazy fantasies that he is really "the one" and that im stuck in a dead-end marriage with my H. I never really had any closure with the NC, phone calls just kinda died off until there were none. I saw it coming, i got too emotionally involved, and i have vowed to never ever let that happen again. I will stay far away from tempting men! lol.. hang in there!! oh LIT i do felt for you ,i guess you and mind are not so much different situation i still with my H also but i put an effort to make itwork and i think it might work in the end ...one thing i found out after the d day and NC is that i got myself back somehow (to my old self) ...my R with my H used to be a dead end as well and i also thought it will never work out ..i never put an effort when i was with my exmm ...i guess because of what people here told me that i can not work the 2 R out at the same time which proved right and i can not lead a double life i think its not only for men but also for us as well....we always find its hard...after the R end and the support i had IS AMAZING....its just the courage that you have to do...i hope its all work out for you and if you said its your dead end and it WILL never work just get out ...i think its kind of like which one is worth more to save .,..and i guess thats all the MM thought after the d day that's why the ow always thrown under the bus..some case maybe not because they don't loved the ow but because of what they been together and the big changed that's theres worth fear...the only thing we can do is talk to the closed one or here in LS so our eyes will open more ....as for the A we all had its kind of relieved when its over but 1 thing we forgot is taht after the day we all had to gone tru the hearthbreaking and so on ...we all have right to mourn don't we....remind ourselves how confidense and beautiful we are ....before the A and now we are on the right track i guess.......my heart is still shouting for him ..but i do try everyway to proved to myself that i will do the things i never do......one day at a time heh........(((((sigh))))))))))) as you say you vow you never do it again you made the right decition my friend.....as you know you do..as we got too emotional ..we can not blame ourselves for more...its the R that made its emotional...i am too....its bound to be that way don't be to harsh on yourselves ,im not very good with emotion either....so i don't know if its will help us go tru this but i guess at least ...hah.!!!!!.....hug..))
Author upto_here Posted September 14, 2007 Author Posted September 14, 2007 Revenge is mine, saith the Lord. You don't have to do a d*mn thing. Let God take care of it. His revenge is so much more exquisite than ANYTHING we could ever come up with. You are hurting because you've been HAD by a man whom you loved but who didn't return the honor. IT IS NO SKIN OFF YOUR NOSE. You simply gave away too much, too soon. Time and distance are your best friends right now. This will pass. Be patient with yourself. And know that we've ALL been there, in one form or another. Thank you open book.......its so true !!! Time and distance ...i'm sure thats the best bet...i know we all been there and i guess that's why we need opinion from people like you to courage us to get pass this....patient!!!!
woe_is_me Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 just had to edit i didn't realise you were already married ..what i said didn't really figure for the situation you're in ..doh!
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