mich_dog_lover Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 I asked my husband to move out about 3 months ago.We were having alot of fights and I needed some time to think. So he moved and got his own apt. We didnt talk for awhile and he was very angry at me.So now we have been talking again but he doesnt know what he wants. Right now I am trying to give him space and be his friend.We have 5 kids between us. Ok I want to tell him how I am feeling. I want to own up too my part in the marriage.I realized what I was doing wrong and I know what I have to change. I brought up about us getting back together before and he said he felt like I was pushing him. So I have let it go. I just want him to see that I have realized my wrong doing . Do you all think this will hurt me if I tell him.I dont plan on asking him how he feels.just want to put my part out there. Any advice/opinions? thanks:confused:
Chrome Barracuda Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 When you kick a man out and do what you did. That might turn him off forever. It's completely up to him if he wants to be back in. I suggest MC and IC with an emphasis on marital recovery. Hit the gym and trim up, show him the woman who loves him wholeheartedly, give him a good reason to come home.
LakesideDream Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 I asked my husband to move out about 3 months ago.We were having alot of fights and I needed some time to think. So he moved and got his own apt. We didnt talk for awhile and he was very angry at me.So now we have been talking again but he doesnt know what he wants. Right now I am trying to give him space and be his friend.We have 5 kids between us. Ok I want to tell him how I am feeling. I want to own up too my part in the marriage.I realized what I was doing wrong and I know what I have to change. I brought up about us getting back together before and he said he felt like I was pushing him. So I have let it go. I just want him to see that I have realized my wrong doing . Do you all think this will hurt me if I tell him.I dont plan on asking him how he feels.just want to put my part out there. Any advice/opinions? thanks:confused: Kids "between you" imply's that each brought children into the marriage. Which and how many, what are the custody arraingments? Many men find themselves in "blended" familys are intimidated by the task of supporting and raising another mans offspring. Could that be the case?
Woggle Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 Chances are you were the nagging wife that complained a lot about everything before you kicked him out and now that he has some peace and quiet he is enjoying it. You wanted him out and now he is out so you should have been careful what you wished for. I am not saying this to insult you but you can'y expect a man to come crawling back like some puppy after you kick him out of his own home. I would see if you can make it up to him and show him you are sincere. Honestly I applaud him for not being at your beckon call.
Melovator Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 Ok I want to tell him how I am feeling. I want to own up too my part in the marriage.I realized what I was doing wrong and I know what I have to change. but are you changing it? If you're getting back together with him or not, whatever it is you need to change, you need to change it not just for him or for your relationship with him, you have to do it for yourself. And you have to actually MAKE THE CHANGES, not just acknowledge that you should. If you're really serious, then work on yourself. Be the best you can be. Push yourself to another level as a person for yourself.
Author mich_dog_lover Posted September 16, 2007 Author Posted September 16, 2007 I have been giving my h his space. I did ask him if he wanted to go out sat night and he said yes. So we went out to dinner and then we went shopping. It was fun. We talked a little about the marriage but then he said that when I start talking about the marriage then he feels like I am nagging SO I said I was sorry and no more talk of marriage. We then went out bowling and that was fun. After bowling I went to take him home and he invited me in.. Well I ended up spending the night. It seemed really nice to cuddle with him and surprised that he cuddled back. In the talk we did have he said he doesnt know why he doesnt want a divorce. He said he wasnt attracted to me . He said although I am pretty and attractive HE wasnt attracted to me. He said that he used to be but I know I have gained some weight and there is nothing I can do about it as I am prego. I said well there is nothing I can do about that until the baby is born.He is like no its that you used to be nice. He said that he still has feellings for me . So I am not trying to get excited. I am just thinking it was a good night. Well the weird thing was that when I told him that I was looking for another house he kinda freaked out and said you are moving on? I said well yeah I cant wait forever. Then he is like we cant all fit in the house you are looking at and I am like nope. I didnt know I was supposed to get a house for all of us.So that is a bit confusing to me unless it was just that he thought I would sit around and wait for him. Oh and then he said he didnt really know what he wanted and asked what I wanted. I said I wanted to work on the marriage so he is like then work on the marriage. He is like stop worrying about me and what I want. Do what you feel is right. So that is what I am going to do! Any thoughts? Anyone?
Chrome Barracuda Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 Do you want him back or what??? You did that too soon, your toying with him, you want to move to a new house?? Your forcing his hand!!! If he isnt having an affair then let him be for now, let him come back on his own and givehim time to fall in love with you again, Stop nagging and be patient, Change up your style forever with him, hit the gym and trim up a little bit. All that nagging is hurting him, give him a reason to come home, Tell him the truth about you loving him and no more manipulation to get what you want!!!
kobegirl Posted September 17, 2007 Posted September 17, 2007 Dont tell him what you did wrong .. why would you do that ? you know , owning up to what you did wrong without him owning up to what he did wrong , just fuels the attitude that he didnt do anything wrong in the relationship , it will make you feel worse in the long run so dont do it I'd say . when my husband and i seperated a long while ago , ( we are back together now ) i did tell him what i did wrong in the relationship... let me just say it didnt do anything to help the situation . just gave my H fuel to use against me . forget it . if he wants to come back he will and if he doesnt he doesnt .. it really doesnt matter if you did wrong or not. I am sure you guys have already had that conversation so why do it again .. i just dont think it is nessesary . up to you of course .
Recommended Posts