sfsassy Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 I won't bore you guys with the whole saga. Met a guy a few months ago. He was seeing someone, so wwhen I asked him out, he said he would love to, but let's keep it platonic because of the other girl. They broke up in August, and it didn't sound like they were serious We have hung out 5 times, starting as lunches, moving into dinner, and a couple of nights ago dinner and a movie. He insists on paying for everything. Due to schedules, I was the one who picked up the movie tickets before dinner, and he offered to pay me back for his. Very much a gentleman. I got cold, and he had me wear his sweatshirt. (I told him I didn't need it but he insisted. We hug, but nothing more. He seems comfrtable with me, and I am with him, for the most part. My question is simple. I want him, should I tell him. He strikes me as shy, he kept twirling his hair, even during the movie, and was all fidgety.
Author sfsassy Posted September 12, 2007 Author Posted September 12, 2007 He kept saying "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" during dinner. Also a guy stood me up in July, ad he said I "deserve much, much better"
whichwayisup Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 Obviously he likes you otherwise he wouldn't be hanging out with you. Only real problem I see is, you getting hurt because he JUST broke up and got out of a relationship. You don't want to be the rebound girl. Sadly, I think that is what you are...It's just unhealthy for him to be starting to date you knowing that you like him so soon after his breakup. Shield your heart and just don't allow yourself to get too attached too fast.
Author sfsassy Posted September 12, 2007 Author Posted September 12, 2007 Obviously he likes you otherwise he wouldn't be hanging out with you. Only real problem I see is, you getting hurt because he JUST broke up and got out of a relationship. You don't want to be the rebound girl. Sadly, I think that is what you are...It's just unhealthy for him to be starting to date you knowing that you like him so soon after his breakup. Shield your heart and just don't allow yourself to get too attached too fast. Well, listen to this. Accept at the very begining, he never, never talked about the other girl, even whie they were dating. He also has made no definiite move on me.
whichwayisup Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 Well, don't assume that he didn't love her or have feelings for her...Fact that he didn't say much about her to you means nothing. He could have just wanted to keep it private and respect his girlfriend by not telling you stuff. Don't say anything to him yet about how you feel. Let more time go by and just be friends. Try not to think about 'it' too much...Just BE. Again, don't be the rebound girl. Last thing you want is for him to just be enjoying the ego feed knowing you like him and he's not really into you.....
Author sfsassy Posted September 12, 2007 Author Posted September 12, 2007 Well, don't assume that he didn't love her or have feelings for her...Fact that he didn't say much about her to you means nothing. He could have just wanted to keep it private and respect his girlfriend by not telling you stuff. Don't say anything to him yet about how you feel. Let more time go by and just be friends. Try not to think about 'it' too much...Just BE. Again, don't be the rebound girl. Last thing you want is for him to just be enjoying the ego feed knowing you like him and he's not really into you..... Ok. He is a very decent guy, so I think if I told him, and he didn't like me in that way, he would just say so. He has been nothing but gentlemanly to me.
tanbark813 Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 If he insists on paying then he's probably interested in you. Either that or he's retarded.
Author sfsassy Posted September 12, 2007 Author Posted September 12, 2007 If he insists on paying then he's probably interested in you. Either that or he's retarded. You mean intellectuaally impaired, right? he keeps making excuses for way he's paying, but is very, very adamant about it. I stole the check once, and paid, and he was upset. I've never seen a guy be upset over a girl paying. (I mean I would never do that on a first date, but he had treated me to lunch twice.)
tanbark813 Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 I don't know if you have to worry about being a rebound too much since guys tend to get over things more quickly than girls and it doesn't sound like he was that serious with the last girl. But, I agree with WWIU that you don't really need to bring it up just yet. Since he's shy you might want to give it a little more time before you say anything. You don't really have to worry about falling into the friend zone the way that guys have to with girls. You could, however, make it easier for him to make a move by touching his arm and such when you're talking or generally just being close to him when you're hanging out.
Author sfsassy Posted September 13, 2007 Author Posted September 13, 2007 I don't know if you have to worry about being a rebound too much since guys tend to get over things more quickly than girls and it doesn't sound like he was that serious with the last girl. But, I agree with WWIU that you don't really need to bring it up just yet. Since he's shy you might want to give it a little more time before you say anything. You don't really have to worry about falling into the friend zone the way that guys have to with girls. You could, however, make it easier for him to make a move by touching his arm and such when you're talking or generally just being close to him when you're hanging out. That's a really good idea! When I say he never mentioned to her, I mean NEVER! Like when I would ask about weekend plans, or whatever. he wouldn't mention plans with his girlfriend. I can see not talking about deep feelings. I'm not telling him my intermost secrets, but when I have been with a guy, they have tended to naturally come up in conversations. I really, really dig him as a person, so don't want to mess up a good friendship, but I like him in another way too!
amber1 Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 Ehhh well just be careful. It sucks being the rebound girl. Don't let your feelings get too involved. He might be interested in you but that doesn't mean he isn't still interested in the last girl.
Author sfsassy Posted September 16, 2007 Author Posted September 16, 2007 Ehhh well just be careful. It sucks being the rebound girl. Don't let your feelings get too involved. He might be interested in you but that doesn't mean he isn't still interested in the last girl. Maybe you are right, but he doesn't feel like a rebounder to me About ten years ago, I got semi involved with a guy who has just taken a break from his girlfriend. He claimed she wanted to date woman (!) and didn't want to be tied down. Anyway, he was much, much more agressive (or assertive) about the physical stuff, and constantly talked about her. (should have been sign 1 that he wasn't over her, but live and learn.) He went back to her pretty quickly, and now they are married with two kids. With this new guy, he just said he was "kind of bummed, but c'est la vie" (such is life or that's life.) Since then no talk of that. Just a semi update. I have been the main one planning the get togethers. (though not completeley). I told him if something interests in to just tell me, and he said he liked it when other people take the lead, and I had good tastes. Does that mean he might like me to take the lead in other ways?
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