Nagini Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 So I am moving to a new city early next year (between late january - early march) The city Im moving to contains one very charming but effed up boyman. [No I had plans to definitely move there before knowing him] He and I have been friends for over a year. We live 2 hours apart. We have been on 2 extremely long dates spaced a few months apart (16 hours plus total) Kissed about 30 minutes on both dates. He is sweet, sexy, smart, good listener and very educated. He also drinks, smokes and speeds. And doesnt have money saved up even though he is 35 and earns 175k a year. I dont care because I have my own savings (over 160k) but I dont want a guy reliant on me. I am pretty cute (used to model), bright, happy and pretty much love life. This guy is confusing the heck out of me with mixed signals. After our last date he suddenly mentioned he has his eye on a new 'raven haired' girl locally. Not dating her but interested and working on dating her. So I was crestfallen and decided to only view him as a friend. 2 weeks later I mentioned I got 300 emails on jdate and that my exBF won an award for his comedy writing. Well my seemingly 'platonic' friend got all pissy and jealous and petulant towards me. He then said something odd and bitter. That I didnt have time for him, that he wasn't my priority anymore and that since Im so hot and popular some rich man will swoop me up soon and I'll forget all about him. What is this DUDE'S DEAL ? He talks about another woman, doesn't bring up seeing me again but gets all huffy and sarcastic because I have other men in my life ? I can't figure out if he really wants me or just wants an ego boost that Im holding a candle for him. Sooooo I am throwing myself into work, charity projects and working out for the next 6-7 weeks. He likes to chat with me several hours a week. No. Stopping it all cold turkey, shutting it down and I'll contact him again or allow contact from him a couple months from now. Is this smart or dumb of me ? Has this worked for others ? I want him to have a cold dose of misisng my friendship and figuring out WHAT I mean or don't mean to him.
vivi Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 Are you clear on what you want with this guy? You sound ambivalent. I'd watch out for this guy...he speeds and he makes a lot of money but doesn't save anything. Maybe you're sending mixed signals, too. If you want him as a friend be clear about it. Don't contact him more than 2X a week, let him know you're seeing other people. If he's not your boyfriend/lover, he's not a priority. and count your blessings. If he speeds (i take it you mean drugs) you are well out of it.
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted September 15, 2007 Posted September 15, 2007 He sounds as though he missed his ego boost once you were no longer crestfallen about his lack of attention to dating you. I must say, for 35, he sounds pretty immature - are you sure you want to date someone who happily tells you they're interested in someone else?
Author Nagini Posted September 16, 2007 Author Posted September 16, 2007 Are you clear on what you want with this guy? You sound ambivalent. I'd watch out for this guy...he speeds and he makes a lot of money but doesn't save anything. Maybe you're sending mixed signals, too. If you want him as a friend be clear about it. Don't contact him more than 2X a week, let him know you're seeing other people. If he's not your boyfriend/lover, he's not a priority. and count your blessings. If he speeds (i take it you mean drugs) you are well out of it. Ah no speeds as in vroom, vroom, drives way too fast.
sedgwick Posted September 16, 2007 Posted September 16, 2007 You know, I was with an ambivalent guy for most of the past year, and as much as I miss him, I am relieved not to have to worry all the time anymore. We can both find someone who really loves us for being the awesome chicks we are and feels lucky to have us.
Author Nagini Posted July 18, 2008 Author Posted July 18, 2008 You know, I was with an ambivalent guy for most of the past year, and as much as I miss him, I am relieved not to have to worry all the time anymore. We can both find someone who really loves us for being the awesome chicks we are and feels lucky to have us. So I found out that this guy I posted about last year HAD A GIRLFRIEND when he took me out!!!! He only told me this when he broke up with her in MARCH this year! And his excuse was she led him around and he didnt know hw to break up. And to make it WORSE he said she was only a 5 face, 5 body but had great eyelashes. WTH!!! So I guess that makes me chopped liver (no it doesnt mean that ....I have healthy self confdence) Anyway we now live in same city and have several mutual friends. He has the nerve to tell me I'm the one who got away....And that he really wants to date again (we liv ein same city, but ive avoided seeing him in person since then) Hello , I traveled to se ehim for a wonderful date and turns out he had a gf he didnt disclose. He also seems to hink Im a super close friend. (we staye din touch online after I posted this and all winter/spring until I recently found out the truth) Ho wshould I handle him ?
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