Triple Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 so we're about 8 months now and i duno, starting about 2 weeks ago she is always pissed off at me, overreacts about the smallest things. I drive her to school, which is a good 30 minute drive, she just slams the door, doesnt say bye or thank you, nothing. She tells me to **** off too sometimes, hung up on me 2 days in a row, which she has never done. I haven't started acting different or anything, im the same usual self. Just makes me want to spend less time with her, we see each other everyday and i usually stay at her place 6 nights a week. Is this a normal thing that usually occurs after so much time or do I ask her what is up? Bored of me? Stress maybe from school? First semester back since high school, took a 2 year break. Should i just take a few days away from her and see if she realizes what shes doing? Help please!
curiousnycgirl Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 I hate to ask, but it's not obvious from your post, but have you asked HER what is going on?
Author Triple Posted September 12, 2007 Author Posted September 12, 2007 she says I bug her all the time Ever since we started dating i make wisecracks and such now and then and ive even asked her if she minds because im always joking, and she says "i like them, I think they are funny" I haven't increased the amount I do or anything like that so I'm guessing its something else shes not telling me unless she suddenly just completely changed how she feels about my jokes.
curiousnycgirl Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 You need to have a discussion with her. Tell her you are sensing that she is upset and that you feel her anger is toward you. Ask her to please advise what she is getting angry with and then discuss how you can try to change this behaviour (if you so choose). If you want to make this relationship work, walking away/giving her time without understanding what's going on is certainly not going to help.
JCD Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 She should have communicated this with you earlier because by now she might be too angry to care about working this out. Maybe when she wants to be serious you are joking with her or something like that. Ask her.
whichwayisup Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 Ever since we started dating i make wisecracks and such now and then and ive even asked her if she minds because im always joking, and she says "i like them, I think they are funny" What kind of wisecracks? Negative yet joking ones that put her down? If you're doing that - STOP. Even if she finds them funny, it's not cool to jokingly put her down. Eventually it wears thin...Hense her getting pissed off. Talk to her, ask her what is going on and FIX things. Give eachother some space too, maybe you both need time apart for abit.
Author Triple Posted September 12, 2007 Author Posted September 12, 2007 There is no possible way I can change this either, my whole life i've grown up seeing it, my dad does it to my mom, my brother to his girlfriend, i thought I would be different but I do the same thing. If it is my joking now do I just tell her I guess we should break up since I can't change it. I dont want to have to change how I am, i just want to find someone who can joke back with me... its not like im calling her names or fat or anything, lol
NatoPMT Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 you joking is not going to make her angry unless you are making jokes shes misinterpreting, shes more likely expressing her issues with the relationship through that id say you need to get to the bottom of why shes being irritable rather than how shes communicating it
Author Triple Posted September 12, 2007 Author Posted September 12, 2007 I've never put her down, she puts herself down all the time and I try to say otherwise but she ignores it. Usually its something like... "Can u grab my bag" "oh god, make me do everything!!" I've always said it sarcastically, and always go and do it, but now she goes "**** FINE ILL DO IT" then when she does that I go "jeeeeeeez grrrrrrumpy" and laugh while saying it, and she goes "**** off" I duno, maybe im an ******* and just dont realize it, but she never got mad the first 7 months
annabelle75 Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 I've never put her down, she puts herself down all the time and I try to say otherwise but she ignores it. Usually its something like... "Can u grab my bag" "oh god, make me do everything!!" I've always said it sarcastically, and always go and do it, but now she goes "**** FINE ILL DO IT" then when she does that I go "jeeeeeeez grrrrrrumpy" and laugh while saying it, and she goes "**** off" I duno, maybe im an ******* and just dont realize it, but she never got mad the first 7 months She was in the happy honeymoon stage. That's why she didn't complain. Now the jokes are wearing thin. I know that that is how you just say that you are and have no intention of cutitng it back a bit, but you might want to take a step back and consider if it is really worth it. My ex-H was like that too. Everything was a joke or smart ass remark. I got sick of it. He said it was just the way he was and he wouldn't change. (his brtohers were all like him too) About 6 months after our divorce we were at a teacher's conference for our daughter he was doing his usual schtick when the teatcher suddenly interrupted him and said, "Not everything in life is a joke, sir." That shut him up real fast. Its not really a matter of changing who you are. Its a matter of not constantly offending the person you claim to love. You don't have to give up your jovial attitude all together. Maybe you could just reign it in a little and show her you do have a serious side.
Cobra_X30 Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 I duno, maybe im an ******* and just dont realize it, but she never got mad the first 7 months Thats more than likely it! I would recommend that you change... I dont even like working with people like that. Its only funny for about a week!
roadwarrior Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 so we're about 8 months now and i duno, starting about 2 weeks ago she is always pissed off at me, overreacts about the smallest things. I drive her to school, which is a good 30 minute drive, she just slams the door, doesnt say bye or thank you, nothing. She tells me to **** off too sometimes, hung up on me 2 days in a row, which she has never done. I haven't started acting different or anything, im the same usual self. Just makes me want to spend less time with her, we see each other everyday and i usually stay at her place 6 nights a week. Is this a normal thing that usually occurs after so much time or do I ask her what is up? Bored of me? Stress maybe from school? First semester back since high school, took a 2 year break. Should i just take a few days away from her and see if she realizes what shes doing? Help please! You can ask her whats up but you ain't gonna like the answer. create some space especially for your own sanity.
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