Not_That_Innocent Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 Does not have a car ( it blew up four months ago) Recently purchased a "beater" vehicle, but can't afford insurance and plates No $$ saved No health insurance (has medical problems) Services are constantly being shut off (electric, cell phone) Lives in an apartment and is behind on rent He works hard but makes minimum wage at a restaurant. He was recently promoted to the manager training program but may have to step down because as manager he makes $12/hour and he has child support that would take up most of that. He could get the support reduced since the amount is based on what he used to make, which was a little more... but he has to go to another state to file the order and because he hasn't had a car can't get there. Also, it would cost $150 to file the reduction and he doesn't have it. I'm trying not to be judgemental as I have fallen on hard times myself ... but I should also add that he spends money on alcohol, pot and having his hair braided. His priorities are all messed up. I think he's a loser, but am I being too harsh?
Citizen Erased Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 He has braided hair? Don't take his calls. Just jokes. Everyone has money problems. But he still spends what little money he has on alcohol and drugs, that says alot about how stable he is.
Curmudgeon Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 ... but I should also add that he spends money on alcohol, pot and having his hair braided. His priorities are all messed up. I think he's a loser, but am I being too harsh? In a word, "No!" I won't call him a "loser" but I will say he's immature and has his priorities skewed. But that goes along with being a doper. I'd steer clear if I was you. If you wish to carry him then go ahead, but I wouldn't suggest it. He'll bleed you dry!
Trimmer Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 Are you already in this relationship to some degree (and if so, describe to what degree...) or are you at the threshold, considering whether to delve in?
starlite Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 RUN! This guy needs to straigten his life out, and he needs to do it alone so he doesnt bring you down with him...or expect you to sort his life out for him.
MissMaris Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 ...but his priorities are screwed up. It's not a crime to be poor, but it's stupid to waste money on drugs when you're behind on the utility bills
Krytellan Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 He works hard Then no, not a loser. Just not as special as you apparently. He works hard and deserves to prioritize however he wants. I think it's really sleazy for people to assume that because someone doesn't have all of life's luxuries and has different interests/priorities that he's a loser. You apparently have it all "going on". Does that make you a snobby bi*ch? Based on what people would say here, yes. How's that feel?
underpants Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 Oh, Come on. You can fix him... Is this Smooth Lou?
Author Not_That_Innocent Posted September 13, 2007 Author Posted September 13, 2007 Then no, not a loser. Just not as special as you apparently. He works hard and deserves to prioritize however he wants. I think it's really sleazy for people to assume that because someone doesn't have all of life's luxuries and has different interests/priorities that he's a loser. You apparently have it all "going on". Does that make you a snobby bi*ch? Based on what people would say here, yes. How's that feel? Wow ... that's harsh! I don't think utilities are a luxury, but whatever.
Trialbyfire Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 I would be concerned about someone who's not fiscally responsible. Imagine a future together when you're both working and you're the only one paying the bills because he needs his little luxuries...
Author Not_That_Innocent Posted September 13, 2007 Author Posted September 13, 2007 Oh, Come on. You can fix him... Is this Smooth Lou? - Leave it to you Unders to remember. But I'm not complaining 'cause that's what I like about you. Yes, it's him. I swore I would stay away, which I have. But he called recently and it got me to thinking ... My thoughts seem to come back to three things: his anger, jealousy and financial state. He says he was angry because he was jealous and regrets the way he acted. That aside, he still has $$ issues. Which wouldn't bother me if his priorities weren't so screwed up. I understand people have $$ problems, but that is the time to hunker down and get on a budget.
Krytellan Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 Wow ... that's harsh! I don't think utilities are a luxury, but whatever. I'm harsh? You're the one calling the guy you're dating a loser. Isn't he lucky?
Citizen Erased Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 I'm harsh? You're the one calling the guy you're dating a loser. Isn't he lucky? But he has BRAIDED hair
Author Not_That_Innocent Posted September 13, 2007 Author Posted September 13, 2007 But he has BRAIDED hair LOL! Prolly not your thing, but his braids are very sexy. He's African American and a lot of AA men wear breads. Do you watch pro basketball? If so, think Alan Iverson. If you listen to R&B music, think R. Kelly. Mmm Mmm.
Citizen Erased Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 LOL! Prolly not your thing, but his braids are very sexy. He's African American and a lot of AA men wear breads. Do you watch pro basketball? If so, think Alan Iverson. If you listen to R&B music, think R. Kelly. Mmm Mmm. R Kelly is a child rapist, not someone to be using as an example.
Author Not_That_Innocent Posted September 13, 2007 Author Posted September 13, 2007 R Kelly is a child rapist, not someone to be using as an example. Sorry, I was referring to his braids. The Mmm Mmm was meant for the guy I'm talking about.
underpants Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 Not That Innocent.... This is a Britany song right? Smooth Lou wears braids? ...are you the real Britany:D Girlfriend, I tried to tell you from day one of posting. I was a bartender and I know this type. I advised you to steer clear. If you want to continue then go ahead. However, I think you know that Mr. Smooth Lou has a rep for a reason. ...to clarify my earlier kidding ...No, you cannot fix him.
bones Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 Unless you are looking to find a man to support with YOUR hard work, end what ever you started. Would you want to live in an apartment with no heat, electricity or phone? Getting stoned may be fun, but being cold, hungry and living by candle light would get old very fast.
Trialbyfire Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 I thought smooth lou was a bartender. He should be making good tips above his wages, sufficiently to support his regular bills.
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 That depends completely on how old he is.
Author Not_That_Innocent Posted September 14, 2007 Author Posted September 14, 2007 I thought smooth lou was a bartender. He should be making good tips above his wages, sufficiently to support his regular bills. Yes, he is a bartender. That is one of the reasons he is having trouble in the management program because he's not making tips. The $$ he's making as manager is eaten up by child support. However, he still had $$ problems as a bartender ... but only because his priorities aren't straight. He could do better if he was a little more frugal and wise with $$$.
Trialbyfire Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Yes, he is a bartender. That is one of the reasons he is having trouble in the management program because he's not making tips. The $$ he's making as manager is eaten up by child support. However, he still had $$ problems as a bartender ... but only because his priorities aren't straight. He could do better if he was a little more frugal and wise with $$$. You know you can't fix him, don't you?
popey Posted September 14, 2007 Posted September 14, 2007 Then no, not a loser. Just not as special as you apparently. He works hard and deserves to prioritize however he wants. I think it's really sleazy for people to assume that because someone doesn't have all of life's luxuries and has different interests/priorities that he's a loser. You apparently have it all "going on". Does that make you a snobby bi*ch? Based on what people would say here, yes. How's that feel? Utterly ridiculous. She's not asking if the guy should be sent to the electric chair for his choices. If you can't pay your basic living expenses, and are interested in reducing your child support obligations (but for the insurmountable $150 obstacle), but you spend money on alcohol and drugs. Her investing in him is a losing proposition.
Author Not_That_Innocent Posted September 14, 2007 Author Posted September 14, 2007 You know you can't fix him, don't you? Oh yeah! I need to quit rationalizing things 'cause I know he won't change for me. There are two things that keep drawing me back ... Long & Strong. But in the end, I know those two things won't pay the bills. Hey Unders - do you suppose it was those two things that got Britany hooked.
Author Not_That_Innocent Posted October 6, 2007 Author Posted October 6, 2007 Well folks, Smooth Lou proved himself to be a loser after all. A few weeks ago he called and asked if I could give him a ride to pay his cell bill because his service was shut off. I was on my way to work and couldn't take him so he asked if I could pay the bill by phone and pick up the money later. I said fine and told him when I would be there to pick up the money. When the time came for me to pick it up he wouldn't answer the phone or return any of my calls. This went on for about a week where he would avoid me and ignore my calls. It started to make me angry so I must admit I sent him a couple of not so nice text messages, basically telling him how rude it was for him to ignore me. He finally text me back and said he would pay me "some" of the money on Thursday. When Thursday came, no call from him. I left him a few messages and the next time I called a female answered the phone. I asked to speak with him and she said he was at work. I knew she was lying but told her I would call back the next day. She told me not to because she would have the phone then, too. Anyway ... he called back later saying that he has a girlfriend now and that she doesn't want me to call. I said that was fine and told him I just wanted the $60 back. He put her on the phone and I explained that he owed me $$. She said it was between me and him, I said EXACTLY and asked to speak with him. She went on to say that I shouldn't have given him the money in the first place. I guess she wanted to argue I was not going to argue with someone who had nothing to do with the fact that he owes me $$. I hung up on her, but not before letting her know how much of a loser he is. I was still furious, not so much about the $$ but about the fact that he was going through so much trouble to avoid me. From the beginning all he had to say was that he didn't have it, that he spent it on pot, whatever. I sent him a text telling him that he needed to be a man and not let his girlfriend take the fall for him. (BTW, I don't know if the girlfriend was real or just a ploy to hurt me. I assume he thought I would be jealous about the fact that he found someone, but what he doesn't realize is he turned me off the moment he started avoiding me so I could care less about his new girlfriend.) So anyway, I sent him that text and he text me back calling me the "B" word and threatning me that I didn't want to "mess" with him 'cause he knows where I live. What a loser!!! I know I won't get the $$ back and at this point I don't even care about that. I'm just furious about the way he handled it. I want to do something about it, but I don't know what.
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