Fun2BMe Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 My therapist just emailed saying hi and I don't know what to do! My heart is pounding so hard. I feel like telling him I miss him or at the least that I want to schedule an appointment. All of these emotions have suddenly flooded back to me. I have a feeling my ex might have contacted him since I haven't responded to his request to forgive him. He had a fight with my (now ex) therapist a couple of months ago blaming him for me no longer talking to him. I am so tempted to see him to let him know all that has transpired since I last saw him, to tell him my feelings for him are still there after all... He can also tell me if it's best to forgive my ex or not which is bugging me to death.
Curious139 Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 Is there any reason why you would not see your therapist? Unless you don't feel you need to of course, but it sounds like you do.
VirtualInsanity Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 I'm lost here. Did you have a fling with your therapist?
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 My guess? You will contact him, he will schedule you an appointment, you two will hook up again, and he will continue to bill you for the privilege of messing with him behind his wife's back. Don't forget what you PM'd me about him. Its called 'pattern behavior' for a reason. You weren't the first, Fun - remember that. And you probably weren't the only, and you surely won't be the last. If I have EVER heard a case for a doctor losing his license, it should be this guy. Your "therapist" (and I use that term VERY loosely) cannot help you with your problems. Not after what he did to you. He will not have the professional distance he needs to help you with what is best for your life. Hell, he took advantage of you as a patent, and not only that, he did it behind his wife's back (though after what you told me, I don't think she'd be too surprised to know what he is doing) - and you somehow think that this man who basically mindraped you and took physical advantage of you during his sessions and had the F*CKING nerve to BILL YOU FOR IT knows what is best for you?
Replicant Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 My therapist just emailed saying hi and I don't know what to do! My heart is pounding so hard. I feel like telling him I miss him or at the least that I want to schedule an appointment. All of these emotions have suddenly flooded back to me. I have a feeling my ex might have contacted him since I haven't responded to his request to forgive him. He had a fight with my (now ex) therapist a couple of months ago blaming him for me no longer talking to him. I am so tempted to see him to let him know all that has transpired since I last saw him, to tell him my feelings for him are still there after all... He can also tell me if it's best to forgive my ex or not which is bugging me to death. I cannot believe someone (you) are actually asking people for reasoning on such a thing. This is disgusting beyond most cases seen on here, and you obviously don't make sense of as to why!!!? This is a doctor!!! whom is supposed to be of a professional nature helping with your relationship issues as it seems not....ADD to them. Have some self respect for gods sake, and blow the whistle on such scum before he takes advantage of other vulnerable women.
Trialbyfire Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 Fun, you know what I'm going to say but I'm going to say it anyways. Don't go there. He's taken advantage of you already and wants to do so again. Once...shame on him...twice..shame on me. Remember that well. It's so applicable in this case.
tinke Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 truly...if you are seeking guidance or permission to forgive someone, then you are probably far too "young" to have an adult relationship. and with a therapist? are you seeking to be rescued?
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 So now after the exes, it's the therapist's turn?!! Come on, Fun. You know better than that. You know what to do. Delete from Inbox, delete from trash folder, delete contact.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 Oh and btw...remember your excellent analysis on StarGazer's thread? You would do well to take some of your own advice.
StaringContest Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 Delete and ignore. Same goes for the ex.
Art_Critic Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 You're a smart woman Fun... Break the cycle..........................
underpants Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 New therapist...maybe a woman therapist. New boyfriend. In that order. Move forward not backwards.
whichwayisup Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 FUN - RUN! (Sorry I couldn't resist that one!) DO NOT EMAIL the BOZO! Yes, he is another one to add the bozo list. You know he is poison to you just like your 2 ex's. DO NOT CALL HIM, EMAIL HIM, SEE HIM, SPEAK TO HIM. Okay, if you need to talk and want therapy again, you must choose another therapist and make it a female one. If lived near me, I would give my T's name and number so you could talk to her.
dropdeadlegs Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 Here's my analysis of this cyclical situation. Ex, who has little concern for your happiness, and you acknowledge cheated on you, refers you to his friend, a therapist, while you and ex are in a relationship. Dr Therapist meets with you and listens to your life history of men who take advantage of your emotional dependency and kindness to them. After several visits, Dr. Therapist can no longer contain his physical attraction to you, so he rolls over on his supposed friend and convinces you to leave him and have no contact (which seems appropriate to an outsider like me.) This leaves you feeling very lonely and vulnerable, paving the way for Dr Therapist to take advantage of your emotional dependency and kindness. The "good" Dr. starts initiating physical contact with you that is completely inappropriate for the doctor/client relationship. Dr. Therapist is also currently married. After much prodding by fellow LS posters and your sister (and possibly others) you detach yourself from this Dr. in order to preserve your sanity and self esteem. Recent events indicate that Ex, and even ex-Ex, are attempting to contact you, possibly in hopes of reconciliation, once again attempting to take advantage of your emotional dependency and kindness. This was making you anxiety ridden and furthering the loneliness. Now, Dr. therapist makes an appearance, certainly looking to reconnect for the same reasons you left his practice. Fun, you must see the vicious cycle perpetuating. Delete every one of these BOZOS from your life permanently. Should we make a list of the negative aspects of Dr. Therapist? Lets' start with 1) He's married. 2) He takes advantage of emotionally challenged women. 3) He has inappropriate physical contact with patients, against his Code of Ethics. 4) He uses his power position for his own gains at the expense of others. 5) He was making you miserable at a time when you needed his professional help, and actually charged you for that misery. I don't think we need to go on. I agree that you need a therapist to talk to. I agree that a woman would be best, although there are surely men who have the moral decency to act professionally. I know it is hard to start over, but please don't take several steps backwards. It will only further alienate you from finding real help. The cycle of bad choices in romantic liaisons can be stopped and must be stopped. You deserve to feel real happiness and you can achieve that, you just need to figure out what keeps you stagnant. There is somebody better qualified to do that, but they can't help until you contact them. Lots of people are in therapy, talk to friends and colleagues about who they see and please pick someone to confide in.
Trimmer Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 Fun - you know the advice that is coming, I can only repeat what others have said. Don't answer, delete the Email, etc.... Direct question, please answer: why have you not sought out a new therapist?
norajane Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 Fun, You have such an awesome abilyy to see through the shams and games that others play. I wish for you that you could apply that to your own life, and not get sucked in by those who succumb to their weaknesses with you as their target. You are so much better than this guy - don't allow him any power over your happiness. You want much more than he can offer. HOLD OUT for that - you are worth it.
Reactor Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 I'm pretty sure what hes doing is violates some form of patient/therepist bond. Report the slime for what he is and move on. God knows how many other defenceless women he may of done this to. Uck. *Shivers*
Recommended Posts