Author LoveLace Posted September 14, 2007 Author Share Posted September 14, 2007 Norajane...??...your last post meant for a different thread?...gosh my BF does things for me all the time...anything from dinners to back/foot rubs...I bought him birthday gifts for when I see him this weekend cuz I feel bad about all the money he's spent on me!...I wanted to do something for his b-day anyway, but seriously I've never had a guy do so much for me..it's crazy.. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 I don't know how that happened! Yes, that was meant for Woggle's thread on his situation with his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted September 14, 2007 Author Share Posted September 14, 2007 I don't know how that happened! Yes, that was meant for Woggle's thread on his situation with his wife. Oh ha ha sorry...oh well it happens Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted September 15, 2007 Share Posted September 15, 2007 Yes because stats don't run my life. I guess you don't have any insurance then? And of course, divorce will never happen to you Link to post Share on other sites
Cad Rake Posted September 15, 2007 Share Posted September 15, 2007 And of course, divorce will never happen to you She's different. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted September 17, 2007 Author Share Posted September 17, 2007 It shouldn't be a decision made based on stats, anyway. The decision should be made between the 2 people based on what they are comfortable or not comfortable with. In my case, my BF wants to do it based on the fact that he never wants to chance being totally screwed over again, not only emotionally but financially. If he feels he would need it for piece of mind, I'm ok with that. But to get a pre-nup only because "50% of all marriages end in divorce"...well that's not good enough a reason. So in many cases I'd doubt a person decides this just because of stats. Link to post Share on other sites
colormehappy Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 HI, My opinion..sign his and have one drawn up for yourself and have him sign. Fair is fair and what protects him will protect you as well. It just ensures that if for whatever reason things don't work out at least you get what you took in. I just divorced after 16 years of marriage and I unfortunately didn't get any of the household goods or the good car but what I did get was ALL the debt and an eyeopener. I will have a prenup next time I ever choose to get married because what I lost can never be replaced and I should have been entitled to the things (family past downs from generations). Oh and in case you are wondering...I am a woman. So men aren't always the ones to get screwed. Good luck with your new love Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted September 17, 2007 Author Share Posted September 17, 2007 thanks colorme...I will remember your advice. that sucks you got such the bad end of the deal. I wouldn't be against having a pre-nup myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Cad Rake Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 They say that divorce is hands down the biggest destroyer of wealth in the average person's life. And despite what you hear in the news, women usually lose more (on average) than men. Link to post Share on other sites
colormehappy Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 I agree with you Cad Rake but in my case I lost financially but over all, I am the winner because I am out!! Free and happy. Just because there is a pre-nup either way (for the man or for the woman) doesn't mean that the marriage is being set up for failure. Either party is just protecting what they worked hard to attain. A pre-nup can be revoked later in the marriage if the couple feels it needs to be disolved or changed. When a person is first asked to sign one it can be a blow to them because it feels like the one wanting it is saying I want to marry you but I don't trust you but if the shoe was on the other foot than the feelings would be reversed. Each person should have their own atty check it out and make sure that there isn't anything stupid or harmful to the signing party BEFORE it is signed. It is only meant to protect what is already there in place or it should be. Lovelace, advice is just that, advice...if you love this man and vice versa than do what your heart and inner self tells you to do. Don't sign anything stupid that could hurt you later. Sure his ex gave him a ride but don't let him take you on one unless its a roller coaster that your both on filled with excitement, love, joy, sadness, fulfillment and everything else that a marriage should be filled with. Be good to him and show him that you love him but more importantly...be good to yourself and show yourself that you love you otherwise you won't be happy no matter how he treats you. Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 I'm sure this subject has been discussed here before, but oh well, here goes...my boyfriend said if he gets married again that he would definitely have to get a pre-nup; this is because he was pretty screwed over by his divorce. Her only main reason for leaving was that she wasn't "attracted" to him anymore and he wasn't "christian" enough for her. But when she left, she took the entire contents of the house, even a washer and dryer that techinically did not even belong to her, because Marty's mother bought them for him....she took all silverware and left him with 1 fork...all dishes...all pictures...not to mention thousands of $ out of their joint savings account. He and I are thinking we want to get married eventually, and he definitely wants to be married and have a family in general, even after what he went through. When he said he would have to get a pre-nup, I told him I understand and it's totally fine, considering what the Ex did to him. However, he also says that he doesn't believe in divorce, and marriage "is for life", and he would not leave his wife under any circumstances what so ever. So basically, he wants a pre-nup because he doesn't entirely trust me? Yet, he wants to marry me? Is something about this contradicting? Is a Pre-nup basically saying "We're getting married but we don't really know if we'll want to stay married"?... Asking for a pre-nup is acknowledging the reality that neither partner in marriage, particularly females, has any say in the matter if their partner wants a divorce. The man may believe in "marriage is forever", he realizes that his future wife may not share his committment. Personally, If I marry again, I will probably as for a pre-nup, and I certainly wouldn't refuse to sign one if a woman asked for one from me. I'm 57 and I've "bounced back" half way from one divorce, I don't know whether I have it in me to "bounce" back again. In fact, that's a great idea.. why not have both parties sign dueling pre-nups? Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 I will defintley have one when I marry. Mainly because I think it is better to determine how to divide your assets at a time when you aren't angry and bitter. Link to post Share on other sites
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