StillPining4Her Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 Please read the whole thing.... I need to know what to do!!!!!! My ex-fiance and I lived together for two years. We meet in the summer of 2005. She was married for ten years, and her husband had recently killed himself, over her moving out and being with another man from Canada that she played online video games with. We started dating that summer and I fell completely in love with her, as deeply as anyone could. Her physical beauty made me want to burst into flames every time I looked at her. We were incredibly sexually compatible. Three months into dating she asked me to move into her old house (could sell). This was the house where they lived. The house where he killed himself. As daily living kicked in, the 24/7 thing became hard for both of us. I had quirks, so did she. Still we moved forward developing a long-term plan for life together. We talked all the time of growing old together, and I felt so warm and beautiful with her...My soulmate. I have worked from home for over ten years as an Art Director. So, being at her house 24/7 I quickly felt at home, and settled in. Yet, once we started having problems, she'd ask me move out, disrupting my whole life. I would leave for a couple of days, and slowly we'd manage to come together and re-kindle the intimacy. Things would return to normal, but we never truly solved any of the issues tearing us apart. As you can see here, I'm long-winded when talking. This drove her crazy. She always avoided dealing with our issues. Instead, she'd start messaging this guy from Canada, talking to him on the phone, and pushing me away. After we'd get back together she'd push him to the side again. I never worried too much because he lives in Canada. But I always feared him, knowing that she slept with him during her marriage. As our relationship went up and down many times, I'd leave, then come back... More of the same. Finally, on the 4th of July we got into it at a summer festival. The next day she told me she wants to be single, and doesn't want a man. She gave me a month to get my stuff together and move out. Turns out, one week later, while I was still there hoping to "fix" things, she started talking with him again. The day I moved out she told me that she is in love with him, and is going to marry him, and have him move to the U.S.A. I am soo devastated. The week after I left, he came into the country and spent three weeks with her. All I could do is stay away. I was so hurt and betrayed by her actions. She always claimed they were only friends. That she was committed to me. But she got engaged to him over the phone, before he even came into the country. He left back to Canada last week. I have been over to her house a few times. Last Friday I was crying in her kitchen so hard I knocked the wind out of myself. Yet, yesterday I spent the whole day with her, and her daughter. We laughed, played games, went shopping. But, at the end of the night she said, "Just Friends." I love "him" and I have chosen not to walk down this road with you anymore. "He" can make me happy. Not hurt me. She went on to say that she cannot kiss me, because she would be betraying him. I have never felt so lost in all my life. I am drinking myself silly sometimes. I'm lying around with no appetite. Loss of ambition, and the worst feelings of desperation I have ever had. We had so much fun yesterday, yet she says she didn't feel anything romantic toward me all day long. That she was just enjoying my company because I'm a fun person to be around. Am I imagining more? She lets me give her light touches, and mild teasing. I don't know if she will go through with marrying this Canadian guy. But if she is pursuing a fiancé visa, it seems so bleak for my heart. What can I do? I've told her how much I love, how sorry I am for being petty... no avail. Please help with any suggestions. My life is too empty without her love, her kindness, her passion, her body, her soul. Thank you for reading....
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