loser_in_love Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 Basically, I met a guy last year (nov) who was a friend of a friend, I had met him a couple of times before and there was a real spark, and this night we were talking and he told me he and his ex-girlfriend were having a baby, they had split up about a month ago and he'd like to ask me out but it was a little wierd. I agreed and was impressed by his honesty, so we kept in touch for a couple of weeks, and i totally fell for him to be honest, and he finally did ask me out and we started dating, and it was perfect. he always talked about his ex and was never mean or disrespectful about her, and the baby he had coming etc, and although it was a far from ideal situation i fell in love with him. on the night the baby was born he called me before anyone else (he was there with her every step of the way) and i really thought he loved me (he told me that he really wanted to make this work if i could try) about 3 weeks after the birth everything changed, he became cold, distant and then dumped me in a pretty mean way, with no real explanantion other than "he didnt realise how hard this would be and he just didnt see how it could work" i had to coax that out of him, at first i got ignored for a few days. 8 months later he is still living with his ex (although i doubt she is), and has treated me pretty horribly. he's told me numerous times that he is not back with her, but it makes sense for them to live together because of the baby, and that he really only wants to be friends, he has stayed consistant with that for the past 8 months, never once claiming he wants to get back together. he has stood me up (not for a date but when he said he'd come visit, 3 times he just hasnt shown up) he calls me and is sometimes very flirty and suggestive and then when i call him out on not treating my well he's like "we're friends, thats all I want, your not my girlfriend" my friend saw him and his ex together last wkend and when i told him it made me a little sad and accused him that they were probably always together i got a cold message saying "i would never have done that to her, cheated on her while she was pregnant, and even if we do get back together it does not effect you, we are only friends" but yet last night he text me telling me he was thinking about when we used to be in bed together, he often does this. im laughing myself as i type this that i could still be in love with this guy, but when we talk for hours in the night, about our hopes and dreams and interests, and he makes me laugh, i just cant help it. im emotionally exhaused and its my own fault, its no use deleting his number as i know it in my head, ive asked him not to contact me before and he complies, and a few days later i end up contacting him anyway and say im fine with us being just friends. when he starts with the kind of thing that happened last night, i encourage it because for that stupid half an hour i feel like he likes me again, yet of course i know he doesnt because hes not exactly calling me or wanting to see me EVER!!!! I cant keep doing this to myself, but i've been here before. any advice at all, other than "your a moron". thanks
Curious139 Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 Oh dear you are really keeping yourself in the frame for continued pain. You know the answer - No Contact. None. Easy for me to say - well it isn't actually. I'm trying not to email my ex right at this moment, so I do understand. You can't be friends with him - not at the moment. Your love and pain are still fresh and gets renewed every time you have contact. In time maybe a friendship can exist but only once you are over him. Be strong - get busy. Exercise. Be around other people, talk to friends.
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