whichwayisup Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 *I posted this by accident on your other thread...It was meant to go on this one...* I know you're not ready to throw in the towel quite yet - So, do what you feel you need to do. Shield your heart and try to take a step back, SEE this guy for who he really is. He may care about you, maybe even love you - But, what he brings into your life isn't healthy. The way he treats you isn't right and I hope you understand that this man IS WHO HE IS, with or without you. People who are PA's and do the silent treatments have issues and are so caught up in negative feelings and having to be in control. I think he is toxic for you, and he doesn't bring you the happiness you fully deserve. It is sad...If he didn't have those issues, you and him probably could be very happy. Unfortunately people like him don't change. He may make an effort, but will slip back into his old ways because that's all he knows...
amber1 Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 Tell him what the problem is. Tell him that you can't take what he is doing anymore. Then tell him goodbye. Easier said than done, of course. But like someone stated before (might have been in the other thread), he needs to be away from you and out of contact with you in order to realize the mistakes he has made. You need to let him do this.
Author Ruby Posted September 12, 2007 Author Posted September 12, 2007 Today i feel like i do not ever want him back!
Lizzie60 Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 Kry you are probably right He has never said sorry before so if he did I would probably give the chance But I have never ended it before like this I wont answer any more of his calls I'm afraid he's right. He won't change.. Only time will tell if he will eventually changed... I was like him when I was in my late 20s early 30s... it was like that... I couldn't change my way of dealing with my anger. I eventually changed but it takes a long time... He will be like that with another partner, it's his way of dealing with his issues. So, unless you really can't cope with it.. you need to leave him...simple.
Author Ruby Posted September 12, 2007 Author Posted September 12, 2007 He is unbelievable! He kept ringing me all night and left messages saying he needed an email address that I had stored on my pc. This man couldnt send a mail if he tried, he is useless with computers! I text him the address and he replied thank you with loads of kisses I ignored it Why the hell is he making stupid reasons to call? Why cant he just admit he is acting like an ashole and try to sort it out? He obviously missses me so why is he acting so anal?
Krytellan Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 Because look at you. You're still thinking about him all the time and he wants to keep it that way. You see it as anal. I see it as successful.
JCD Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 Agreed. You should either go NC or tell him that you give him one last chance to change his ways. Keeping contact like this will ruin you.
climbergirl Posted September 13, 2007 Posted September 13, 2007 Hi Ruby;), I don't think you did bad. You helped him in a minimal sense and I think by giving him the info for the computer-- you did not do that he has been doing is give the silent treatment. The silent treatment speaks more about his character (or whoever is dishing it out) than the person on the receiving end. He's acting so anal because that's the norm and what has worked in the past. And he won't admit it because he hasn't had to in the past. He is unbelievable! He kept ringing me all night and left messages saying he needed an email address that I had stored on my pc. This man couldnt send a mail if he tried, he is useless with computers! I text him the address and he replied thank you with loads of kisses I ignored it Why the hell is he making stupid reasons to call? Why cant he just admit he is acting like an ashole and try to sort it out? He obviously missses me so why is he acting so anal?
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