VirtualInsanity Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 I understand looks aren't everything but understand that if your not physically attracted to them you shouldn't waste yours & their time. My question is: who would you consider relationship material? Guy who's attractive on and off & wonderfulGuy who's hot and wonderfulThere's someone I know who isn't hot but attractive physically pending on what attire. But I find we click everywhere else so far not to mention I find him being extremely smart in my field makes him more attractive. Never thought IQ would be a turn on but for me it is (in my field). I love hearing what he say to say & enjoy talking to him. That's why I'm wondering what people think on is. I don't think I'm shallow nor do I have low standards. I use to place physicall attractiveness above it all but I'm seeing things differently. It's confusing. Btw, that other guy I mentioned turned out to be a drug taker. Now he went from being attractive to a turn off. Instantly. Is that bad?
directx Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 No, liking someone for their looks is not shallow. If its the ONLY thing and you have no problem dumping someone because you find someone better looking, that is shallow. You really should strive for that mental connection, because if that is not there, you will be seeking it. If you want to be happy ever after, you need both.
Author VirtualInsanity Posted September 11, 2007 Author Posted September 11, 2007 You really should strive for that mental connection, because if that is not there, you will be seeking it. If you want to be happy ever after, you need both. Yes I agree. So my question to that is if say I wanted to date #1 would that be a wrong thing to do?
Trialbyfire Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 VI, you're in trouble. This guy will start to look "on" more and more, if you allow yourself to get attached. I find that when a guy can talk intelligently, in my field, he goes up the hot ladder in a hurry!!
directx Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 Yes I agree. So my question to that is if say I wanted to date #1 would that be a wrong thing to do? date him! go ahead! You never really know anyone, I believe. Give him a chance. You don't have to marry him! I say, date all the people you can while single.
Author VirtualInsanity Posted September 11, 2007 Author Posted September 11, 2007 VI, you're in trouble. This guy will start to look "on" more and more, if you allow yourself to get attached. I find that when a guy can talk intelligently, in my field, he goes up the hot ladder in a hurry!! Yes it turned me on. I don't know why because that's never happend before. Feel embrassed because it makes me look like I love his brain but I dont know. Hard to explain.
Trialbyfire Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 Yes it turned me on. I don't know why because that's never happend before. Feel embrassed because it makes me look like I love his brain but I dont know. Hard to explain. Haha...nothing to be ashamed of. He not only sounds smart but someone who can communicate those thoughts effectively. You go!! Smart men will always be my downfall.
Author VirtualInsanity Posted September 11, 2007 Author Posted September 11, 2007 Haha...nothing to be ashamed of. He not only sounds smart but someone who can communicate those thoughts effectively. You go!! Smart men will always be my downfall. Your funny. Basically I was trying to see if you should only date ones who make you fall over.
Author VirtualInsanity Posted September 11, 2007 Author Posted September 11, 2007 One of my downfalls is curly hair. I think that makes a man look sexy.
Trialbyfire Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 Your funny. Basically I was trying to see if you should only date ones who make you fall over. It's weird but I don't think I've ever met a man who's made me fall over due to his physical appearance. I can appreciate looks but if the brains aren't there, forget about it. If he's decent looking but has the brains, oh my, get to know him and I'm falling over. Give him a chance VI. If he's a great guy, you will find it fun to be challenged intellectually. If he plays games with your emotions, run for your life.
Lyssa Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 I don't see anything wrong in liking someone for his or her brain! I used to go for men who has the 'hotness' in them. Only that. Then I started to get bored with them because they can't hold an intelligent conversation. From that, now I find men with a high IQ very attractive. I am lucky to be with someone who is sexy, hot, intelligent and silly all in one!! Now that really makes me happy!!! VI, just go for it. Date him and I'm sure you'll find more to like about him!!
Author VirtualInsanity Posted September 11, 2007 Author Posted September 11, 2007 I consider myself intelligent so when I find someone above me that knows what I'm talking about without me having to reword it, that blows my mind. Not saying I don't like talking only to certain people because I like talking to everyone. I find this funny now that the brain can turn me on.
VIP Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 In the long run looks and brains don't mean too much. Attraction wears off, intelligence alone cannot keep the relationship together. You've got to love their heart and see if you are emotionally compatible.
Author VirtualInsanity Posted September 11, 2007 Author Posted September 11, 2007 I don't want attraction to wear off.
Cobra_X30 Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 I don't want attraction to wear off. So explain how his physical attractiveness changes w/ his clothing? It almost sounds like you are attracted to men in pieces instead of as a whole.
Author VirtualInsanity Posted September 11, 2007 Author Posted September 11, 2007 It almost sounds like you are attracted to men in pieces instead of as a whole. I know doesn't it. Shouldn't be like that & believe me I've been thinking why I might do that. Maybe I don't like the whole I'm not sure.
Trialbyfire Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 I don't want attraction to wear off. Physical attraction will always wear off, if intellectual and emotional attraction doesn't exist. Not everyone wants to be intellectually stimulated throughout their relationship, although of course, there will always be downtimes, where you can sit quietly together on the couch and chitchat about inconsequential things or have periods of comfortable, intimate silence. Some prefer to sit back and be lazy. A situation of come home, veg on the couch and ignore your partner while soaking up what's on TV, beer and penis extension...errr...remote in hand, with no-mind absorption.
Cobra_X30 Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 I know doesn't it. Shouldn't be like that & believe me I've been thinking why I might do that. Maybe I don't like the whole I'm not sure. Well, I struggled with that particular issue a few years back. I had this tendency to focus on parts of a girl that I liked and not really consider her as a whole person or a whole package. I'm not just talking about physical characteristics! I think maybe I was under the impression that the character flaws I didnt like would go away once we started dating, which of course didnt happen. I make a very strong effort now to objectively look at girls as a whole and accept the parts I dont like.
Author VirtualInsanity Posted September 11, 2007 Author Posted September 11, 2007 Well, I struggled with that particular issue a few years back. I had this tendency to focus on parts of a girl that I liked and not really consider her as a whole person or a whole package. I'm not just talking about physical characteristics! Sureee I believe you. I make a very strong effort now to objectively look at girls as a whole and accept the parts I dont like. That's what I think I'm doing. If I don't like a certain part I wonder if I'll come across someone else who has the part I like.
Author VirtualInsanity Posted September 11, 2007 Author Posted September 11, 2007 Physical attraction will always wear off, if intellectual and emotional attraction doesn't exist. Not everyone wants to be intellectually stimulated throughout their relationship, although of course, there will always be downtimes, where you can sit quietly together on the couch and chitchat about inconsequential things or have periods of comfortable, intimate silence. Some prefer to sit back and be lazy. A situation of come home, veg on the couch and ignore your partner while soaking up what's on TV, beer and penis extension...errr...remote in hand, with no-mind absorption. I see what your saying.
Cobra_X30 Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 Sureee I believe you. That's what I think I'm doing. If I don't like a certain part I wonder if I'll come across someone else who has the part I like. Ok, well maybe like 90% physical characteristics! But I've never met a girl who has 100% of what I'm looking for... and to that point sometimes what I'm looking for and what I need changes. So, what is a guy to do? Harems are so expensive these days!
Author VirtualInsanity Posted September 11, 2007 Author Posted September 11, 2007 I need to place where I can custom order one. I hate relationships sometimes.
Cobra_X30 Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 I need to place where I can custom order one. I hate relationships sometimes. If you dont mind a model with a few miles on them... I hear you can get some cheap ones at auction around the holidays!
Recommended Posts