cecil brown Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 My hearts been broke too long..... I can't believe after all these months I'm still stuck in this rut. She left me; she has moved on; she has a new man. Why can't I accept the reality of the situation and move on with my life? Why does my heart still yearn for this woman? Why do I continue to beat myself up over things past? Why do I still hold a glimmer of hope? I have tried to let her go, and try to move on. I'm met with more pain and sadness. It's like I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't. It seems I always take 1 step forward and 2 steps back. Sorry for the late night ramble, but the booze and pills ain't working... Feel like I'm on a lost highway.... Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Dude, count your blessings! You are not MARRIED and miserable!!! You are not TRAPPED!! There are TONS of women around! Why dont you treat yourself? Go to Nevada to a bunny ranch! Find new women! The next Indiana Jones movie comes out next May! You don't want to miss that! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 cecil brown, you know what to do. First, get off the pills and the booze. They only mask your lows and when you come down, you crave more pills and booze. Are you going to let something like this hold you down? You're stronger than that. If you feel you need help with your dependencies, please, go to AA. You might be surprised at how much AA can help you with your lost love. One day at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cecil brown Posted September 11, 2007 Author Share Posted September 11, 2007 I wish I could wake up tomorrow, and tell myself that today is going to be the start of something new. I have tried that....And failed. And tried again...And failed. This has been going on for over 5 months....It's getting old... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Each time you do, you will get a little stronger. Come on cecil brown. You can do it. Remember, you took that course and succeeded. You can bail yourself out of this. I know you can. Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 I wish I could wake up tomorrow, and tell myself that today is going to be the start of something new. I have tried that....And failed. And tried again...And failed. This has been going on for over 5 months....It's getting old... Welcome to growing up! Most of us here have gone through that! And the first step of you getting over this is posting on LS, and you have done that! You are well on your way! Just keep putting one foot in front of the other Link to post Share on other sites
Author cecil brown Posted September 11, 2007 Author Share Posted September 11, 2007 I don't think I have succeeded much when it comes to this. Hell, it's almost cost me my life once or twice. It's so hard for me to turn off this love for her. As a matter of fact, this is probably the most difficult time I've had in my entire life (and I have been married/divorced prior) Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Yes. Love sucks mostly. But don't let it beat ya. Half the fun is trying! Seriously! The possibilities are endless! Yes, you feel like crap now! But you'll get over it! You did before! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Priority one cecil brown, beat the pills and booze. Go out and get healthy. Work out, run, skydive, do something. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cecil brown Posted September 11, 2007 Author Share Posted September 11, 2007 I have been going to the gym, and that has been helping. However, I cannot sleep without thinking of her or dreaming of her. That's where the pills come into play. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 You know sleeping pills are addictive. If you can't sleep, don't take the pills. Hold off and sooner or later, you'll get too tired to stay awake. If you're working out hard enough, you'll eventually fall asleep. If not, start running. Everytime she comes to mind, ruthlessly suppress it. I'm serious. You can only mourn the loss of someone for so long, especially if it negatively impacts on you so badly. Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Trial By Fire is right! You don't need the pills! Go rent CaddyShack or something, Seriously! Stop drinking, stop the pills, and get clear! Link to post Share on other sites
Author cecil brown Posted September 11, 2007 Author Share Posted September 11, 2007 Thanks for the advice. I know in my head that what I am doing is very damaging to me and it's not going to bring her back. It's just hard sometimes to cope with the pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 So what are you going to do tonight? Have you drank or taken anything yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author cecil brown Posted September 11, 2007 Author Share Posted September 11, 2007 Of course I have...but they don't seem to have any effect tonight, which is why I'm here. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Okay. Too late to do anything about it. Do you think you can hold off for tomorrow? Link to post Share on other sites
Author cecil brown Posted September 11, 2007 Author Share Posted September 11, 2007 I'm going to try. Some days are better than others. I don't like the cycle I'm in, but sometimes I feel powerless to do anything about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Tomorrow, come back to LS. I'll make sure I'm online. You can do this. One day at a time. You and I went through part of this earlier this year. Think about how you felt then and how you feel now. Not tonight but tomorrow night, when you're sober. Tell me about it then. Okay? Link to post Share on other sites
Author cecil brown Posted September 11, 2007 Author Share Posted September 11, 2007 I'll do that. Thanks TBF... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 No probs, cecil brown. We've all needed LS for different reasons and have received help too. Do you think you can sleep now? Link to post Share on other sites
Author cecil brown Posted September 11, 2007 Author Share Posted September 11, 2007 I'm going to lie down and hope for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Okay. Try it. I'll be online for a little while longer. Relax. You're not alone. Link to post Share on other sites
angel v Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 cecil i hear your turmoil, and i am feeling the same. it sucks. it is hell. for sleeping, put on headphones and listen to inspirational/motivational audio. there is heaps on line. subliminal/meditation/visualisation type cds are good too, or music. keeps your mind focused on something till you fall asleep. i often put it on in the night whenever i wake. there is so much motivational audio around, tapes, cd's, mp3, and if you play it when you're sleeping, driving, eating, all day if you can, it will rapidly help replace your current thought patterns with new positive ideas. thanks for reminding me too. i have not listened to my tapes for ages. it is too easy to stay slumped in a deep dark hole, or fall back in after a while. it is just as easy to whack ourselves out of it. it just takes the will to take that first step. i know you have taken that first step a thousand times already. so have i . lets take another i'm with you. ready... set... go! Link to post Share on other sites
jason2425 Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 I too know the pain of heart break. being in love with someone for 10 years. I will tell you your way out, take it if you will. The only way i was able to pick myself up and breath and move on is by the strength of God. everytime i was low i would get on my knees and cry out in prayer to him. he is there and ready to listen to your every cry. the bible says "When i am poor and needy the Lord thinks upon me." He knows your current state, he weeps when we weep. He knows our pain and our struggles. He is readily available to you and for you. By his strength alone you will overcome this current grief. The bible also says he will turn my Mourning into dancing. but you need to be willing to say Lord I want to exchange my mourning for dancing. See the Lord not only will take away your pain but he will fill you with joy and he will fill you with peace that passes all understanding. You will have peace when you dont even understand how you can but your heart will be at rest. he also says come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and i will give you rest. ask him for rest, he will lift your burdon he will lift your head up so you can see clearly. He is waiting for you with open arms just go to him. Talk to him like you would talk to a close friend, spill your guts and ask him to comfort you and to give you understanding and he will. ask Jesus to come into your heart and take him as your personal Lord and Saviour. he will come in and transform your life. You will be amazed at how much he loves you and how much he cares. just call upon him you will see. God bless, i will be praying for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Northstar1984 Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 I too know the pain of heart break. being in love with someone for 10 years. I will tell you your way out, take it if you will. The only way i was able to pick myself up and breath and move on is by the strength of God. everytime i was low i would get on my knees and cry out in prayer to him. he is there and ready to listen to your every cry. the bible says "When i am poor and needy the Lord thinks upon me." He knows your current state, he weeps when we weep. He knows our pain and our struggles. He is readily available to you and for you. By his strength alone you will overcome this current grief. The bible also says he will turn my Mourning into dancing. but you need to be willing to say Lord I want to exchange my mourning for dancing. See the Lord not only will take away your pain but he will fill you with joy and he will fill you with peace that passes all understanding. You will have peace when you dont even understand how you can but your heart will be at rest. he also says come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and i will give you rest. ask him for rest, he will lift your burdon he will lift your head up so you can see clearly. He is waiting for you with open arms just go to him. Talk to him like you would talk to a close friend, spill your guts and ask him to comfort you and to give you understanding and he will. ask Jesus to come into your heart and take him as your personal Lord and Saviour. he will come in and transform your life. You will be amazed at how much he loves you and how much he cares. just call upon him you will see. God bless, i will be praying for you. I'm glad talking to God helped you.. but I think in reality.. it's false-hope. Fixing yourself after a break-up comes from within.. not from the divine. It's too easy to challenge God to fix things and then expect to wake up a changed person. I think the approach has nothing to do with religion. God wouldn't of allowed this heartbreak in his world, would he? Cecil brown.. I feel your pain. A lot. I'm just over 2 months now since losing my love of 5 years. She's now got a new guy. I see them every so often. We don't talk anymore, we don't smile. We just stare into eachothers eyes as we pass in the street. One day her new guy will say something.. he's that kind of guy. I will take him apart like Lego. I'm scared of this day, but I know it will happen. He's been warned to steer clear of me until it's all finished and dead. Why? Becaus he was my friend. I've managed to get back into regular routine through sheer willpower and determination alone. LS helped massively. When things were hanging in the balance these guys offered me great support and advice. Days when I did come to work, I spent on LS.org reading and writing. Trying to find a way to keep breathing without crying. It's hard. It's probably the hardest thing you'll ever do.. I'm getting there.. slowly. I can't wait to find a girl with a mind like mine so we can share eachothers company and enjoy life together. Link to post Share on other sites
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