Curious139 Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 I've read the thread about listing your ex's faults and agree that it is an excellent therapy. We all need to remind ourselves of those irritations, meaness, selfishness etc which occurred. However what I'm struggling with is that I don't have any bad memories of my ex. She doesn't have any significant faults which I can list or remember. The most I can say is that being a shy private person, she wasn't overly demonstrative when I did something good for her. However she was affectionate and there were no problems with our connection. I guess I worried that I wasn't reading her at a deep emotional level but there were reasons for her holding back which I understood. And then I lost her by waiting too long.............. So anyway I don't have the comfort of criticising her. I loved her 2 1/2 months ago and I love her today. I'd be with her in a moment if that was possible. After reading all of the tragic stories on LS it feels kind of odd to have lost a love without any nastiness, without any harsh thoughts, apart from profound sadness. Are there others who can relate?
birdie Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 yes I can relate. I had some big arguments with exes and breaking up is unpleasant but I remained in contact with almost all them. they are nice boys and I struggle to muster up any hard feelings for them most of the time. as a result I'm usually just sad that the relationship didn't work out
niceguy27 Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 I have the same feelings with my ex. She is a wonderful person. I do not have one bad memory of us. Two years and not a bad thing I can think of. She thinks the same with me. We had it very good. Dont know your situation, but I am starting to realize that if I do love her that much, I do need to let go of her for now and if she loves me as much as I hope, she will be back. In the meantime, knowing all that helps me to cope with the loss a little better. I just think that now is ME time for a bit. Then we'll see what happens.
Author Curious139 Posted September 11, 2007 Author Posted September 11, 2007 Thankyou Birdie and Niceguy, I feel heartened by your posts. Sometimes on LS the stories about how people have been treated are so awful that it is hard to keep reading. I too have no bad memories of any of my ex girlfriends, just sadness regarding three relationships.
frd150 Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 Same For me. She is a good natured generous person. We did not fight and no nasty words were EVER exchanged. We are still everybit as nice to each other and like you I would probably give it another chance if the opportunity presented itself but im not counting on it. The demise was due to feelings not expressed on both ends. Long,old story. Coulda been worked out but like you I see this a me time. My chance for self improvment. The kick in the butt i needed.
birdie Posted September 12, 2007 Posted September 12, 2007 unfortunately sometimes you only learn by making mistakes and then being kicked in the butt for it. there is no way around it though. I don't wish any of my exes back because I understand the reasons for the break up in each case but I'm glad there is no bitterness or negativity. some of the posts here are really depressing to read, not because people got hurt but because they are so negative and pessimistic in general.
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