Homeschooling... okay or not?

[allina]

I think homeschooling is a horrible idea and I would never consider it. I believe a child needs the school experience in order to grow in to a well rounded member of society. By attending school they are exposed to different ideas and people. It teaches children to think for themselves and allows them to learn things they would not at home. I also think that teachers play an important role in the development of a child.

 

Not all home schooled children grow up to be social outcasts and there are organized home school activities out there but I don't think they provide enough of a social learning ideas. I know you said that a part of your reason for wanting to home school is for religious reasons, something I greatly disagree with but since we have different views on religion I'm not going to go there. I just think your children deserve a life outside of religious home schooling and occasional social gatherings with other religious, home schooled kids.

 

As for the deadly food allergies, that is a valid concern. Is there a way you could meet with administrators of your children's school to speak in greater length about your concerns? Do your children wear id bracelets? Do they have an understanding of their medical conditions?

 

Also keep in mind that accidents happen, kids slip and fall, scrape knees, an occasional injury at school isn't a reason to keep them at home. This sounds like an excuse to home school. This is where I feel like you want to keep your kids at home so you can control what they learn and keep them away from things like biology, science and non religious children/children from other religions.

[a4a]

Allina has a point indeed.

 

Their exposure to ideas will be greatly limited if home schooled. Likely they will grow up rigid and possibly intolerant.

 

No mingling with other races or religions.

 

And when I mentioned Private Schools I was not talking about religious ones.

 

Easier and cheaper to get into that way in most cases. But a good academy is what I am talking about. Based on the schools record and outcome of previous students.

 

Many kids in private school are not from affluent families. Most offer some form of scholarship or partial tutition based on income.

 

I have a student now that attends and they live in a shack of a home.

They put the kid first - laid off the spending to invest in her education.

[Trialbyfire]

The amount of allergies is concerning. I think what allina suggested is a good idea, to meet with assorted school staff.

 

Keep in mind that children bond easily with other children at a young age but by grade 6 or 7, will have made more serious and lasting friends. These are the friends they will probably go to the middleschool/highschool together. If it's a good group of kids, they will more than likely stay out of trouble.

 

There's no real reason to keep your child at home by the time he hits grade 4, due to allergies. He will know better than to eat anything, he's unable to eat.

 

My nephews figured out how to tap into my wireless router with my Wii, without my knowledge or help (although they showed me) and one of them was in grade 4, the other grade 6, at the time.

[allina]

Sorry my post was poorly written, especially the second paragraph I'm doing a million things all at once.

 

I also wanted to add that colleges, and later employers may discriminate against a home schooled child, limiting the child's opportunities.

[JamesM]

Home schooling is very diverse as to how the kids will be socially and intellectually. This is totally up to the parent/teacher.

 

a4a has some good points (again?! ) about tuition and payment. I was not referring to either religious or parochial private schools, but both do have tuition aid. I went to a "religious" school and then went to public college and university.

 

Yes, I encountered a more diverse crowd at college compared to the private schools, but you will no matter if the school is religious or not. A public school is only as diverse as the neighborhood you live in. My experiences at the community college were very enjoyable and the most diverse. I had friends from United Arab Emirates (a prince) and Israel (a woman that had been in the Israeli Army...good stories)....no not in the same group. I had friends that were African/American, Japanese/ American, and more. The three years at the community college were the most enjoyable that way. Did my "sheltered" private school make me socially inept with other cultures? No, I found it interesting to learn about them.

 

Jinnah, it will all come down to you. Yes, that is a big responsibility. Fortunately, with home schooling you can get your feet wet slowly. You start with preschool and learn as your child does. At some point, you will want to make a decision if this will contyinue all of his school years, but at this point you can try to see if it will work. And at this age, you cannot "damage" (no insult intended) the child too much.

 

I think homeschooling is a horrible idea and I would never consider it. I believe a child needs the school experience in order to grow in to a well rounded member of society. By attending school they are exposed to different ideas and people. It teaches children to think for themselves and allows them to learn things they would not at home. I also think that teachers play an important role in the development of a child.

 

I respect this opinion and see where she is coming from, but Jinnah, when you do your research, I think the home schoolers will have an answer for this.

 

As for intelligence, didn't a homeschooler win the last National Spelling Bee? As for socially underdeveloped, I know of a family who was home schooled. All of the kids were very socially outgoing and confident. One went to the Olympics twice as some Karate/Judo fighter.

 

So, this is up to you.

[Jinnah]

Allina and a4a- I hate when one person gets on a thread, says something nasty sounding, and then the thread takes a negative turn. Up until now people have posted their opinions in a respectful manner, even when they did not agree. No more of this please... I am seeking constructive advice... not advice that makes people feel bad.

 

I did say a part of my reasoning for homeschooling was religious, and there is nothing wrong with that... I have the right to prevent my children from not just hearing about something that is against our religion, but from being told that it is acceptable. I do not want this to turn into a religious argument, so please no further comments on that. Agree or not, it does not matter to me.

 

I have met with the school to discuss the issue and, yes, the kids do wear medical ID bracelets. I have already said they understand their condition. None of this, however prevents the accidents that can (and do) happen. My son comes home with hives on his face. This can happen just from contact of an allergen (without ingesting) and some kids have anaphylactic reactions this way.

 

Yes, kids slip and fall, scrape knees, and get occasional injuries (I know this very much so as I have three children, two boys)... these incidences are just not life-threatening. Also, the program I am considering teaches biology, science, etc. so I would not be keeping them away from that.

 

As far as the "no mingling with other races or religions" statement, um... I am half black, a eighth Native American, and the rest white. My husband is a Christian German Jew which makes our third child multi-racial, my ex-husband is East Indian (making my first two children - the ones with the allergies - half East Indian, a quarter black, a sixteenth Native American, and the rest white), my dad is remarried to a Buddhist Chinese woman and they have two children together, making my half-siblings (and my children's younger uncle and aunt) Chinese, Black, and Native American, my full sister is having a child with a man who's mom is from Jordan and who's father is from Mexico... I could go on (for a LONG time), but I think you get the point. My kids will not be lacking in this area.

 

As far as the academy issue, the homeschool curriculum I am considering is from a non-religious private school - I supplied the name earlier. My kids would belong to their accredited homeschool academy. If I proceed, I am planning on ordering the religious part from another source.

 

If I would not send my kids to a religious private school, I would not go out of my way to send them to one at all. The public school they currently attend is actually highly rated, so there would be no need. As far as living in a shack to send the kids to private school, I would not need to do this, as my father influential in our society and has plenty of money. He has offered to send my children to a private montessori school. I just do not see the point in paying for an education when the public school system where we live is as great as it is, so don't try to make me out as some selfish parent.

 

This is not a private school vs. public school debate. Anaphylaxis does not pick and choose the location to occur in.

[norajane]

Maybe by high school, your son would have accepted and understand his allergy situation, so he would be more likely to avoid those foods on his own.

 

I still don't really understand how non-specialist moms can teach subjects like chemistry if they really don't understand themselves what a mole and Avogadro's number are and why students should care, or calculus if they don't really get limits, derivatives, integrals, etc. How do they answer questions when the kids don't understand? How do they explain the difference between mitosis and meiosis, and the 7 stages of mitosis? And how do they do the rat dissection in bio lab, or any of the chem lab experiments??

[a4a]

goodness you take things way to personal/overly sensitive.......

 

nobody attacked/pooped on your parade you - just examples given of what if's.

 

and who knows if you are white or green or black... don't care. Poor or Rich... you stated you could not afford PS..... so offered an option.

 

But those are just points to consider.

[Jinnah]

Trailbyfire, I agree and that is why I want a strong academic curriculum if I do homeschool... if we decide to put them back in, I want them to slide right back in there! They are aware of what they can and cannot eat, but there is still the risk of contact reactions... this scares me a lot.

 

Allina- from doing extensive research, I believe that many colleges and universities happily accept students that were homeschooled (I have an extensive list, Harvard being one of them)... it all depends on their scores.

 

JamesM- thanks for the encouragement... I really hope a parent cannot damage their child from homeschooling. I totally agree... it really does depend on the parent! A homeschooler did win the National Spelling Bee... I've heard they are blowing everyone away and have been for a few years. I believe Thomas Edison was pulled out of school and homeschooled by his mother after his school teacher said he had "learning disabilities" or something along the lines of that. A lot of the USA's forefathers were homeschooled as well.

 

Norajane- I understand your point there, and agree. I hear that by then, the curriculum is tailored toward the child and they almost teach themselves with the help of the extensive lessons written out for them, along with the satellite/computer programs. If that doesn't work out, they can always go back.

 

a4a- no offense. I was just replying to what you said. Living in a shack to pay for private school is a little extreme, don't you think? The kids could go to public school and get a great education. I know if my kids continued in the system they are currently in they would go far in life.

[allina]

I did not say anything nasty and had no intention of hurting your feelings. I'm sorry but I think pulling children out of school in order to control what they learn and don't learn is WRONG. I know that you want the best for them but by doing this so that YOU are comfortable with what they are taught you are putting THEM at risk of missing out on so much. I know you don't like my posts/opinions, but I think in this situation seeing an opposing view is important.

 

Do they have any say in this mater? What if they hate it and want to return to public school?

[a4a]

The schools here are one of the worst in the country so I applaud those parents that do sacrafice to give their kids a private education.

 

perhaps my idea of a shack of a house is a normal home to some?

 

 

Allina I also agree with your post quite a bit.

 

It is reasonable to want them safe. But if you have instilled good values at home or your religion is an important part of their life already, learning about the views of others will not sway them.

[norajane]

Norajane- I understand your point there, and agree. I hear that by then, the curriculum is tailored toward the child and they almost teach themselves with the help of the extensive lessons written out for them, along with the satellite/computer programs. If that doesn't work out, they can always go back.

 

Teach themselves?

 

I suppose that's possible, but boy, I wouldn't have wanted to learn differential calculus on my own!

 

And there's still the whole lab experiment stuff...I dunno, maybe it's just that I really like all the chemical reactions in lab!

 

Have you asked your kids how they'd feel being pulled out of school and being taught at home?

[allina]

 

Allina- from doing extensive research, I believe that many colleges and universities happily accept students that were homeschooled (I have an extensive list, Harvard being one of them)... it all depends on their scores.

 

 

I can tell you've given this a lot of thought and done your research, that's great. No college/employer will openly discriminate against a home schooled child, it's illegal but it happens behind closed doors.

 

Also home schooled children have less chances of participating in activities that can help with college and their education like; being in a school play, choir, the debate team, school band, the soccer team, the school paper, yearbook, class office, cheer squad, a foreign language class, art club and so on.

 

Of course a home schooled child can take an art class or join a sports team but they don't have as much exposure to discover an activity they might love.

[sb129]

Jinnah, it sounds like you are considering all the many good points raised here which is great.

 

Personally, I don't think I would consider homeschooling, but my partner is a science teacher, so while it could be possible, it might seem a little hypocritical!

 

Have you asked your kids what they think? What do they want to do?

 

My biggest concern would be the social aspect. I am still very good friends with people I went to nursery school with, and high school.

Personally, I would have felt quite left out of the social loop, however if you belong to a church that may offer social settings for the kids.

 

There are valid arguments for and against with regards to curriculum, safety, college or further opportunities.

If you are trying to protect your children from certain parts of the national curriculum that are against your religion, that isn't necessarily a good thing. They should still learn about them and be able to make up their own minds.

Most universities teach the follow-on to the national curriculum, particularly the stuff that I suspect you are against, however, thats up to you.

 

I have a friend who was home schooled, and unfortunately it seems to be a bit of a handicap for him with regards to getting into a university, but that is in the UK.

 

At the end of the day, if it doesn't work out, you can always put them back into school, however, chopping and changing won't be good for them.

 

Good luck, and let us know what you decide!

[Jinnah]

Allina- I asked the kids and they are excited to homeschool (must be their young age). I have no problem with public school... I am sad to take them out, actually. My reasoning behind it really is to protect them from dying at school.

 

I don't mind differing views on here, I just don't like feeling like people are slamming me for considering this option.

 

I disagree with your viewpoint that preventing them from learning that something is acceptable (that we religiously oppose) is wrong. I think it is our job as parents to teach them right and wrong, and that depends on the religion you are a part of.

 

I agree with your point that they do not have as many opportunities for extracurricular activities. Yes, they can join many outside of school, but everyone would have to admit that by not attending school, there are some that a child will miss out on. Also, they will miss out on the "school experience". I just have to decide what is more important. It's a no-brainer. I would rather have my child miss out on those things, then have a dead child that did not miss out. Dramatic, yes... but true.

 

a4a- This is more about keeping them safe from allergens at this point in their lives.

[JamesM]

It is reasonable to want them safe. But if you have instilled good values at home or your religion is an important part of their life already, learning about the views of others will not sway them.

 

 

Since we agreed twice already, it is time that I find a point of disagreement.

 

I think the private school is the way to go, but then I am biased. My wife attended a public school and had no problems.

 

BUT....religious values and more have barely begun by the time we send our wee ones off to school. Yes, this certainly applies by the time, our children are in their preteens and older. But in preschool, they learn values that may already conflict with what the parents teach at home. No, probably nothing much, but it is already at that age. And certainly by the time the kids reach the first grade, they are taught things that conflict with what is taught at home.

 

Besides, why send them to a school which has values that disagrees with the ones you are teaching when you can send them to one which is teaching the values that agree with the ones you are teaching? And certainly if you homeschool, you had better be teaching them what you think they should learn.

 

As for sheltering them from diverse views, they will get plenty of diverse views as they grow. Then when they encounter them, they will either know what they believe or will ask about the differing view. And yes, I know....I am one of those who have learned much as I grew. If I had a public school education, the kids I would have gone to school with would have been somewhat more diverse than the ones I went to the private school with, but not a huge difference.

 

Besides, I think the main reason for home schooling is for protecting from physical dangers. And while I am not sure that I agree with this as a reason, I can understand why you are nervous. If something happened to this child due to something you could have prevented, you will have a tough time forgiving yourself. Therefore, again, the decision must be yours. As the child gets older, then you may have a different opinion.

 

Have you gotten a medical opinion as to how to handle this allergy while the child is in school?

[Jinnah]

Jinnah, it sounds like you are considering all the many good points raised here which is great.

 

Personally, I don't think I would consider homeschooling, but my partner is a science teacher, so while it could be possible, it might seem a little hypocritical!

 

Have you asked your kids what they think? What do they want to do?

 

My biggest concern would be the social aspect. I am still very good friends with people I went to nursery school with, and high school.

Personally, I would have felt quite left out of the social loop, however if you belong to a church that may offer social settings for the kids.

 

There are valid arguments for and against with regards to curriculum, safety, college or further opportunities.

If you are trying to protect your children from certain parts of the national curriculum that are against your religion, that isn't necessarily a good thing. They should still learn about them and be able to make up their own minds.

Most universities teach the follow-on to the national curriculum, particularly the stuff that I suspect you are against, however, thats up to you.

 

I have a friend who was home schooled, and unfortunately it seems to be a bit of a handicap for him with regards to getting into a university, but that is in the UK.

 

At the end of the day, if it doesn't work out, you can always put them back into school, however, chopping and changing won't be good for them.

 

Good luck, and let us know what you decide!

 

Thanks for the input, sb129. I do worry about the points you bring up. The kids do go to Sunday school, but obviously, that is only once a week. The Community Center offers a lot of activities (sports, ballet, art, music, etc.) that my kids have attended and enjoy. We did make friends in one of the classes.

 

Homeschooling really can backfire and hinder if the parent or child is not dedicated enough. At this point, my kids are enthusiastic about learning, so it can work for now, and if it ever stopped working out, I have no problem putting them back in school at an older age. The things that I religiously opposed, are not currently taught (just considered), at least for the most part - I am "iffy" about teaching evolution - depends on the viewpoint it is taught from and if there are any hidden agendas - which all depends on which teacher happens to teach it. There is a difference in presenting points of a subject and trying to sway someone into believing it.

[norajane]

It is reasonable to want them safe. But if you have instilled good values at home or your religion is an important part of their life already, learning about the views of others will not sway them.

 

It never swayed me!

 

You can't get away from religion in schools, particularly in history class. As you go through all the different periods in history, you learn about the Crusades, the foundation of the Church of England and why, Martin Luther, the Pilgrims, Egyptian, Norse, Greek and Roman gods and goddesses, the Great Schism that divided into the Catholics and the Orthodox Christians, the church and Ptolemy and Galileo, Hitler and the Jews, etc. And then, of course, you also learn about the Eastern religions as you go through the Dynasties, the English and India. Any real art class you take, will give you another view into different religions - the Catholic Church, for example, commissioned much of the art in museums today, and certainly much of the art in the Vatican and throughout Italy.

 

Religion is a huge part of world civilization, and there is really no way to avoid learning about its affects on society and the different belief systems of the world. It's very enriching.

[a4a]

James I hung out with lots of Jewish kids..... I learned about their faith.

 

I hung out with some Korean kids..... I learned about their faith - catholic.

 

I had methodist neighbor friend - best friend.

 

I had baptist friends

 

I had a catholic friend that told my sister she was going to hell.

 

and hell I even attended some church functions with those kid friends....

and I also hung out with some gay friends and some really really bad friends.

Those atheist friends and holiday church goers..... yep hung out with them too.

 

None of them swayed me from what I was taught that was right and wrong in my own home. The main thing I was taught is tolerance.

 

Now I would send my kid to a private religious school even though I am an atheist..if that was an only option for a better education... I doubt my child would turn religious on me. If so we atheists have spells to cure that........ :p:lmao:

[Jinnah]

Since we agreed twice already, it is time that I find a point of disagreement.

 

I think the private school is the way to go, but then I am biased. My wife attended a public school and had no problems.

 

BUT....religious values and more have barely begun by the time we send our wee ones off to school. Yes, this certainly applies by the time, our children are in their preteens and older. But in preschool, they learn values that may already conflict with what the parents teach at home. No, probably nothing much, but it is already at that age. And certainly by the time the kids reach the first grade, they are taught things that conflict with what is taught at home.

 

Besides, why send them to a school which has values that disagrees with the ones you are teaching when you can send them to one which is teaching the values that agree with the ones you are teaching? And certainly if you homeschool, you had better be teaching them what you think they should learn.

 

As for sheltering them from diverse views, they will get plenty of diverse views as they grow. Then when they encounter them, they will either know what they believe or will ask about the differing view. And yes, I know....I am one of those who have learned much as I grew. If I had a public school education, the kids I would have gone to school with would have been somewhat more diverse than the ones I went to the private school with, but not a huge difference.

 

Besides, I think the main reason for home schooling is for protecting from physical dangers. And while I am not sure that I agree with this as a reason, I can understand why you are nervous. If something happened to this child due to something you could have prevented, you will have a tough time forgiving yourself. Therefore, again, the decision must be yours. As the child gets older, then you may have a different opinion.

 

Have you gotten a medical opinion as to how to handle this allergy while the child is in school?

 

You summed it up perfectly, JamesM. Your take on it is great. Can you tell me what, in your opinion, they teach by the first grade that may differ from what a parent might teach? I really am interested. I know my son came home and called me a weenie the other day:p... is that what you mean?

 

I 100% agree with sending your kids to a school that agrees with what you believe in. Even Christian homeschool curriculum's teach about different religions, they just do it as compared to what they believe, which is fine with me. The ones I have seen don't ban it altogether.

 

I never would forgive myself if something happened that I could have prevented. Plus, I don't like sitting here worrying about what is going on at school at the moment. Last week the school called, and when I saw the number on caller ID, my heart started racing and I felt sick... I feared of what they were calling to tell me. It obviously turned out to be nothing, but can you imagine that happening on a regular basis?

 

The allergist told me to send his lunch to school. I asked what he thought about homeschooling for that reason and he said that he cannot tell me what to do because he does not know what he would do if that happened to his child. I respect the honest answer he gave!

[sb129]

Well, you know my viewpoint on evolution.

 

My partner is a biology teacher, and an atheist!

 

Anyway, thats beside the point. I only hope you aren't taking on a mammoth task- if you are homeschooling your kids, make sure you spare some time for yourself and your relationship with your husband.

[Jinnah]

Teach themselves?

 

I suppose that's possible, but boy, I wouldn't have wanted to learn differential calculus on my own!

 

And there's still the whole lab experiment stuff...I dunno, maybe it's just that I really like all the chemical reactions in lab!

 

 

Isn't that a scary thought?! I'm not flying for that one.

[Jinnah]

Well, you know my viewpoint on evolution.

 

My partner is a biology teacher, and an atheist!

 

Anyway, thats beside the point. I only hope you aren't taking on a mammoth task- if you are homeschooling your kids, make sure you spare some time for yourself and your relationship with your husband.

 

So, does he try to sway the kids to believe what he believes, or does he just present the points and leave it at that?

 

Thanks for the advice... I will.

[dropdeadlegs]

Even though my children are publicly schooled, I am obviously a proponent of homeschooling. My bias has so much to do with living in one of the lowest educationally ranked states in the US, and even the US is ranked lower than many foreign countries.

 

That said, I beg to differ with some opinions concerning exposure to all the differences that life has to offer.

 

With four children, it has been my experience to see more following of the mainstream crowd than fostering individuality in my children's educational and their extra-curricular activities choices.

 

Because your school day as a home schooler is literally all day every day (education is everywhere) you can have any multitude of outings and/or classes that are not available in a structured school environment. You can attend ballets, operas, concerts, museums any day of the week. You can attend events and exhibits (many of which are free) that detail different cultures, politics, societies, etc. My schools do not offer dance, specialized sports such as gymnastics, skating, archery. Your kids can do these and my area has several Parks and Recreation associated team sports such as baseball, football, basketball, soccer, and softball. Swimming is available at the YMCA. Scouting is available nationwide and doesn't require school affiliation.

 

Personally I think exposure to discover activities they love is less limited, not more limited. Time is freed up with the absence of changing classrooms, taking attendance all day, disruptions by other students. This offers more time to devote to personal interests.

 

Television offers many educational programs about other people in other places.

 

If one chooses to study various religions, there are churches, synagogues, temples, whatever you can think of, listed right in the phone book that would welcome visitors.

 

It takes more planning and running around than participating in school sponsored events, but what I'm trying to say is that every day can be a field trip, versus the one or two you get in a regular school year.

 

If my kids had life threatening allergies (and I completely understand peanut allergies as being very difficult to avoid totally) I'm sure I would be doing it. If either of my kids fail to flourish, I will pull them out in a heartbeat. There are several distinct learning styles (through action, through reading, through music, just to name a few) and not all children learn best by the method(s) taught in their particular school.

 

Besides all of this, when did school become such a "social" activity? It really needs to be more about actual learning and a whole lot less about socializing. While social skills are indeed important, it is pretty darn easy to foster those without attending school. Maybe some of our societal problems are because children are learning too much from children.

 

I have seen some stories of people attempting to shelter their children, but Jinnah has shown nothing to that degree in this thread. Religious preferences and values exist in almost all families, homeschooled or not.

 

I can see the magnitude of possibilities here. Commitment is key and Jinnah seems to have it.

 

I agree that I would have difficulty assisting my children with the higher maths and sciences, but accredited institutions are available if one chooses to homeschool through high school. How many of us use advanced physics and trigonometry on a daily basis anyway? A child with a natural interest and propensity for these subjects would run circles around me with their self education.

 

Boy, I have some thinking of my own to do. My circumstances have changed for the better since I last discussed this topic. I'm getting myself all excited about the possibilities....

[sb129]

So, does he try to sway the kids to believe what he believes, or does he just present the points and leave it at that?

 

Thanks for the advice... I will.

 

He presents facts that are accepted by the scientific community, so its not a "belief" system as such. However he welcomes the content being challenged, and encourages children to question all aspects of what they are being taught. He took some theology papers at university too, to educate himself of the other side of the debate.

 

He shares an office with the religious instruction tutor, funnily enough, and they often ask eachother their points of view.(without fighting- fancy that!) They are aware of and respect eachothers positions, which must be healthy for the children they teach right?