joeyku Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 Okay... back in february 2007 i got really friggin bored one day and got an "espin-the-bottle" account... i didnt even mean to do anything with it... then i checked my msn and it said that someone added me to their couples list on it... and i was like "ah, what damage can it be" so i asked her for her myspace URL... she gave it to me then i sent her a message saying that im the one she met on espin... then we started talking... and talked some more... i could swear sparks flew high in the sky... she gave me her number the first day we started talking, but i didn't call her until a week later... shes was 14 and i was 17 at the time we talked a LOT on the phone and she told me about this "one dude" that she liked and i asked her about him and strangely enough he sounded like no other then ME... so i asked her out on April 8th 2007, and she immediately said "yes"... and thats when the best 4 and a half months of my life started... even though her and i never met in person! we live 30 minutes away from eachother... and since her parents are really strict with her on her social life... we decided to play our relationship off as me being a "gay best friend" LOL her parents didn't believe her and asked her who i really was and she admitted everything to them and suprisingly enough her parents were cool about it and even offered to bring me over to their house to be with her! both her and I were VERY nervous about it... but when her and her mom finally got to my house... we could not stop looking at eachother... and then we went over to her house and we were just the happiest people on earth... i could have lived in that moment forever and so did she... things got really awesome more and more after that... i finally got my driver's liscence and I brought her over to my house and that was when i lost my virginity to her... by this time she was 15 and i was still 17... we sworn to eachother that we were going to be with eachother forever... and since i had my liscence i was able to see her whenever i wanted... and we saw eachother a lot and I actually got along with her parents.. her parents really loved me... i brought joy to their home when i was over there... And one day her best friend that lives upstate finally decided that he needed to sell his computer and start his life off and they parted ways... we still miss him to this day... I was 18 and she was 15 at this time Then we mourned his departure but we understood why this had to happen... and we were as strong as ever... we were the PERFECT couple... we loved eachother SOO much... its unbelievable how much love we had for eachother... Then one day... in july 2007 somewhere in there... I asked her to marry me... she was really close to saying yes but she said that she didn't know what our future will be like... her parents could have divorced and we both would have been hurt over it and had to break it off... so we decided taht it wasnt a good idea then in august was when the darkness settled in... we started arguing over the LITTLEST things (suspicion of loss of interest, her dad pointing out little things about me, and just pointless things in general) ... then one day it got bad and I suggested taht we break up.. and she said yes and we got off the phone (it was over the phone) .. . it was on august 21st 2007... the worst day of my life... i called her back 5 minutes later crying my guts out to her begging her to take me back but all she said was "I can't" ... and i had an anxiety attack over the phone and she calmed me down some... and ever since then I was VERY heartbroken and she seemed to be coping with it in her own weird ways... she went back to drinking and smoking... and I called her a bunch asking for her back and saying how much i will change and do for her... but she said taht shes enjoying single life with her friends... and I kept asking people what is up with her and they said that shes acting like a normal 15 year old... with everything shes doing... shes just 15... and i said that to my best friend about how she is acting like a normal 15 year old and I asked him about a new friend of hers who shes been hanging out with.. and apprerently everything i told him got back to her and she sent me a message saying that i need to grow up and get a life and how pathetic I am and never talk to her again... and now I'm completely miserable without her... I regret so much of what i did... And so here I am now missing her more then ever... ive lost 15 pounds that i nEED since im very skinny... and its just eating me up inside with what shes like now... i made her so happy... she was straight edged from drinking and smoking and now shes doing it again... a lot... and i just think of how much i failed the relationship... can anyone help me out in anyway possible??? Little facts: Shes had a HORRIBLE past... her ex (not me) used to beat her and stuff... to say the least... and her family isnt that good to her... Her and I were the best couple in all time... im still trying to figure everything out... PLease help me someone:sick:
Curious139 Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 You are in an awful lot of pain and we all understand that here. It's so bad you can barely express it and you've done the right thing posting all of your feelings and the background. In fact I suggest you get a journal or set up a blog and just write in it as often as you wnt about your feelings. This is a very therapeutic thing to do. People will tell you that you are both young and you'll get over it. That might be true but it doesn't lessen your pain which is entirely genuine and heartfelt. You built dreams based on your g/f and now they have been shattered. I'm more than 30 years older than you but my dreams have just been shattered in the same devastating way. I can only say that at 15 your g/f is very young to make a lifetime committment of love. Few girls or guys at can do that at such an age. I think you have to let her go. You've tried and she hasn't responded. NC is the rule. Keep away from her. Mix with your friends, keep your mind occupied. Eventually it will fade but it takes time. Take care.
Author joeyku Posted September 11, 2007 Author Posted September 11, 2007 yea... im wondering what things will be like in the next couple of years for her... cause i remember one day we were riding in the back of her moms car coming home from the coast (fun day btw) and we past her ex bf's house... and since he used to hurt her and stuff... she freaked out at the sight of it... but i was there to hold her and comfort her... and she was better... but it seems like now she doesnt appreciate it
sedgwick Posted September 11, 2007 Posted September 11, 2007 Okay, but think about it this way. How many people do you know who got married as teenagers and had it work out? Trust me, you don't want to marry a 15-year-old girl, especially one who's already drinking and smoking, and has already been through a physically abusive relationship. Where were her parents in all this?! When I think back to the boyfriend I had when I was 15, and think about being married to him now, I just laugh. And I looooooooooved him at the time. He was my first love and the guy to whom I lost my virginity, and I was so freaked out that my already burgeoning eating disorder blossomed into full-blown anorexia -- which is sort of my version of drinking and smoking, in that it was the addiction I fell into. It took me another 10 years to really beat it. In those 10 years, of course, everything changed. I went to college and grad school. I married (and divorced) an amazing man who is still my best friend. But the biggest reason we divorced is that, at 26, I just wasn't done growing as a person (not that any of us ever are, but still, after 10 years of an eating disorder, you're even more uncertain than most people.) I was over a decade older than your current girlfriend, and still I felt I had to run off and get to know myself. And I'm not at all sorry I did. You have a lot of amazing years ahead of you, filled with a lot of girls. I know that doesn't help much now, but trust me, in a few years you'll both be very different people.
Author joeyku Posted September 11, 2007 Author Posted September 11, 2007 i just wish i could help her and get her on the right track like it was when we were together... but i cant control people... im just hoping to god that she realizes what shes done and lost one of these days... cause i miss her and i love her still to this day...
Author joeyku Posted September 11, 2007 Author Posted September 11, 2007 Where were her parents in all this?! Her parents dont know jack squat
Maags Posted September 18, 2007 Posted September 18, 2007 Joey, give her some time. Right now you should be making new friends and dating other girls. Keep yourself busy with PEOPLE. Stay off the computer for a while if you can. it is where you met after all.
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