niceguy27 Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 Well, If any of you have been keeping up on whats going on, the last few weeks have been confusing to say the least. This little "break" we have been on kind of came to an end last Thursday night when the two of us met up for the first time in a few weeks. It went well, you can read the post "Met With the Ex" to get the details. Yesterday, after much thinking and praying, I called her again and told her I wanted to spend a little time with her. She reluctantly agreed and came over. We decided to go to dinner. After this time apart, I have finally realized that the best thing for both of us is for her to spread her wings and be on her own for a while. As hard as that is for me to accept and live with, we both discussed the reasons behind her doing this and that it was time I let go. We both think that deep down we will get through this someday. A month, year, whatever. But we both realize how much we care about each other and that we dont want this to be the END. She is recently moved out on her own (from moms to my place to her own place) and is just now experiencing freedom. I told her to look at the BIG picture (which is hard for her now cause of the whole "unsure" stage) with us. Right now, she needs to find her spot in the world and really get to know who she is and this is just a little bump in the road. She knows that she has a hard time with commitments. SHE says that this is something that we have to do. For both our sake. She has to know 100% that I am the one. And the way to do that is to be on her own for a little while. Once she truly KNOWS herself, then she will know for sure if I am the one. I know a lot of people will say its over over, and yeah it may be. But I flat out asked her if she realizes what she may be giving up. She said she knows. She said in time she knows that eventually things will be ok in the end between us. So I told her that I dont think anything less of her or look at her as "different" than when we met. I said that if we make it through this and find each other again, things will be even better than we had before. I said that we have to go our separate ways for a while and when the time is right and I feel that we can be just "friends" than I will let her know. But for now, I said it would be best if we didnt talk or see each other for a while. The night ended with her coming back over and the two of us holding each other on the bed for about an hour. No words, we just layed there. When she went to leave, we both had tears in our eyes. I looked at her and started to cry. Once I regained my composure I told her it was just my way of letting her go in my own way. I said I will always love her and that the door will be open. She responded in the same manner and we kissed one last time and she was gone. I actually feel that things will work out in the end. One way or the other, I feel as if God gave us a taste of what happiness really is. A look at things to come. We both care for each other deeply. By her realizing this early on and being completely forthcoming with me the whole time, she has shown me that she cares for me just as much. Otherwise, if she didnt really want to work through things, I think it would not have ended as amicable as it has. I guess the point of writing this on here is not so much to rant and rave, but to tell people that only YOU know how you really feel about someone. If you think they feel the same as you, and you just stick it out, things will work out eventually. I know that yeah, I may find others and Im open to it, but I also know that I love her very much and that I am willing to leave a little place open for her if she does want to come back. At least I know that I gave it my everything to work it out. Now the only thing that can help is just time and faith. People nowadays always think in the "here and now." Its so hard for people to think of the long run because its a "here and now" world we live in. We want answers yesterday and results now. But I think that if you really do love someone, its something that takes a LONG time to develop and nurture. It cant be decided on in a short time. There are no deadlines, commitments, or timelines. It takes time, effort, and faith that the road will bring you back together again.
angie16 Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 this actually brings tears to my eyes. i feel that if i meet with my ex its going to be a lot like what you descibed above, and that makes me sad, but maybe i need the closure. good luck with everything.
Author niceguy27 Posted September 10, 2007 Author Posted September 10, 2007 Closure...Simple word, but its something everyone needs to find in there own way. Otherwise your left with some void that never gets fully filled. However people find it I think its healthy that you do find it. For me it was doing that. For others it may be a letter, a txt., call, etc. But for your own sake, I think that everyone should try to find it. Its the first step to looking ahead and not behind. I hope you find it too. Acceptance is a hard thing to find but when you do, its like a switch is flipped. Just follow whats in your heart and you will know then that you did everything you could do.
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