stop seeing a "good" guy because of the wrong one?

[Curmudgeon]

That must because women are delicate little flowers that never do anything wrong.

 

I rest my case!

[peace_pipe]

I rest my case!

 

Perhaps you can learn to read my whole post without extracting a single sentence and taking it out of context.

[a4a]

Would anyone like to respond to this inquiry or do you just want to attack?

 

If you met a guy you genuinely liked, would you turn him down simply because of someone in your past? Really???

 

Well this will be only a hypothetical answer:

 

Yes - If I could not give myself 100% to the person I was starting a new relationship with because I still was hung up on an EX.... yes I would walk away.

 

But the real answer is - If you were all that and a bag of chips in her view the EX would mean nothing to her.

 

She just isn't into you.

[Curmudgeon]

If I met a girl I genuinely liked but liked someone from my past just as much I would likely go with the known quantity if the opportunity was there. If I like the former more then there would be no contest; again subject to availability. However, out of fairness, I wouldn't likely have started in a new relationship to begin with until the former relationship was decided once and for all.

[peace_pipe]

Well this will be only a hypothetical answer:

 

Yes - If I could not give myself 100% to the person I was starting a new relationship with because I still was hung up on an EX.... yes I would walk away.

 

But the real answer is - If you were all that and a bag of chips in her view the EX would mean nothing to her.

 

She just isn't into you.

 

That is kind of the way I see it too. So not only is she a flake, but a liar too.

 

Say what you mean, mean what you say, is that so difficult?

 

On the other hand, if she wasn't that into me, then why was she the one coming by my place, etc??

[Curmudgeon]

I read quite well, thank you. If this is an example of your arrogance and victim mentality no wonder you have problems.

 

The single sentence is basically a repeat and not out of context at all. You made it stand alone. Therefore, it can be addressed on its own merits, or lack thereof!

[peace_pipe]

However, out of fairness, I wouldn't likely have started in a new relationship to begin with until the former relationship was decided once and for all.

 

Thanks for the response.

 

What you said makes sense and seems to apply here, all except for the last part.

 

I guess I don't see why she is stuck on her ex. She left him, he slept with her best friend, he had no ambition.

 

I guess that is worth losing me over, makes me feel pretty sad.

[a4a]

That is kind of the way I see it too. So not only is she a flake, but a liar too.

 

Say what you mean, mean what you say, is that so difficult?

 

On the other hand, if she wasn't that into me, then why was she the one coming by my place, etc??

 

Because in a 2-3 week time period you cannot know if you are "that into" someone or not.

 

You expected too much emotional commitment from a person who was just getting to know you.

 

This is not a 2-3 year relationship- it was a few dates.

 

Sounds like you were ready to marry her or something..... head over heels in love in just 2-3 weeks... that is not healthy.

[peace_pipe]

So I just called her and let her know what a crock of %$# I think she is.

 

I told her she was similar to many of the basket cases I have met recently.

 

I told her I hope she finds another guy just like her ex.

 

I told her to forget my name, forget where I live.

 

And one last big F you!

 

I feel a lot better. Maybe the next guy will get the better version of her, thanks to me.

 

Nothing irritates me more than selfish girls who play games.

 

Oh, but she wants to be "friends" still. ROFL

 

I told her to wake up.

[peace_pipe]

Sounds like you were ready to marry her or something..... head over heels in love in just 2-3 weeks... that is not healthy.

 

You sound like a woman yourself! ROFL

 

No, I simply wanted to establish trust so that we could have the potential to move it forward. That makes me a bad guy, huh?

 

I don't love her, i never came close to using that word.

 

At the same time, i am not going to be some sap that she strings along and discards when she is ready. Make sense?

[a4a]

You sound like a woman yourself! ROFL

 

No, I simply wanted to establish trust so that we could have the potential to move it forward. That makes me a bad guy, huh?

 

I don't love her, i never came close to using that word.

 

At the same time, i am not going to be some sap that she strings along and discards when she is ready. Make sense?

 

Well I am dink!

 

I cannot believe after 2-3 weeks of dating you would feel so hostile.....

amazing. very scarey actually.

 

Are you Woggles Cousin or something?

And if you don't love her...... who cares if she dumped you.

I think it is more a ego control issue.

How old are you 16 or 17?

[Trialbyfire]

I think it is more a ego control issue.

I agree. Btw, pp, have you met date analyzer? He tends to have similar values as you do, in that you pay a dollar and want unlimited services.

[a4a]

So I just called her and let her know what a crock of %$# I think she is. -Yes that is called for after a couple of dates

 

I told her she was similar to many of the basket cases I have met recently.

- well that says something about you

 

I told her I hope she finds another guy just like her ex.

- she probably is hoping the same

 

I told her to forget my name, forget where I live. - I am sure she will, and wishes she never learnt it in the first place now.

And one last big F you!

 

I feel a lot better. Maybe the next guy will get the better version of her, thanks to me. - oh goodness yes you should take the credit for that, she at least will be more cautious after meeting the likes of you.

 

Nothing irritates me more than selfish girls who play games.

Agree- or creepy controlling people that think other people owe them something after a few date or a cheap dinner.

Oh, but she wants to be "friends" still. ROFL

She is stupid in that case

 

I told her to wake up.

 

Ross is that you? or DA?

[peace_pipe]

Well I am dink!

 

I cannot believe after 2-3 weeks of dating you would feel so hostile.....

amazing. very scarey actually.

 

Are you Woggles Cousin or something?

And if you don't love her...... who cares if she dumped you.

I think it is more a ego control issue.

How old are you 16 or 17?

 

Damn right I feel hostile. I am just as entitled to my emotions as she is with hers.

 

The hostility does not all originate from her. Rather, from the hordes of women I have met recently who are selfish, self involved and immature.

 

I am tired of investing time into someone and doing nice things for them only to be forgotten at the drop of a hat.

 

So excuse me for not being her whipping boy. Excuse me for making a stand!

 

BTW - I am 30 and have been through a lot at the hands of a woman.

 

I don't care if I acted immature by lashing out at her. She deserved it and I wanted to.

 

F her and all the silly b#tches like her.

[Trialbyfire]

Damn right I feel hostile. I am just as entitled to my emotions as she is with hers.

 

The hostility does not all originate from her. Rather, from the hordes of women I have met recently who are selfish, self involved and immature.

 

I am tired of investing time into someone and doing nice things for them only to be forgotten at the drop of a hat.

 

So excuse me for not being her whipping boy. Excuse me for making a stand!

 

BTW - I am 30 and have been through a lot at the hands of a woman.

 

I don't care if I acted immature by lashing out at her. She deserved it and I wanted to.

 

F her and all the silly b#tches like her.

The only common denominator is you. Think about it.

[Kasan]

She broke up with you to go back to her ex after seeing you for a couple of weeks. It happens all the time. How is this treating you badly? How is this using you? Why are you so angry?

 

I applaud her honesty instead of stringing you along. How did you handle it when she told you?

 

You know that there are a lot of other women out there, so why waste your time and energy on someone who doesn't want you?

 

By the way, men do this to women all the time.

[peace_pipe]

The only common denominator is you. Think about it.

 

I may be the Least Common Denominator, but if you remember Math, an equation / fraction ften has MANY.

 

So yeah, I am a common denominator. I offer a girl stability and companionship and she will have none of it.

 

There's you're common denominator.

[Trialbyfire]

I may be the Least Common Denominator, but if you remember Math, an equation / fraction ften has MANY.

 

So yeah, I am a common denominator. I offer a girl stability and companionship and she will have none of it.

 

There's you're common denominator.

If every woman "abuses" you, what does this mean, considering how many healthy relationships are out there?

[peace_pipe]

She broke up with you to go back to her ex after seeing you for a couple of weeks. It happens all the time. How is this treating you badly? How is this using you? Why are you so angry?

 

I applaud her honesty instead of stringing you along. How did you handle it when she told you?

 

You know that there are a lot of other women out there, so why waste your time and energy on someone who doesn't want you?

 

By the way, men do this to women all the time.

 

She didn't go back to her ex. She just claims to have feelings for him that prevent her from moving forward with me.

 

I told this girl from day one that I was not solely looking for a friendship. She seemed to be okay that.

 

After you spend a few weeks with someone, a little reassurance is nice. When I sought it, she became defensive.

 

She may as well just slap me in the face.... chosing what didn't work out vs a good start that we had in developing something good.

 

thanks for you response! much appreciated!

[peace_pipe]

If every woman "abuses" you, what does this mean, considering how many healthy relationships are out there?

 

I personally do not know many healty relationships. I would really like to see some! I wish I was kidding, but seriously, even those relationships that appear "healthy" often aren't.

 

Example: Often on party has cheated but they will put on their "game face".

 

That is just one example, so please don't exploit me there.

 

I feel that many women have abused me. I don't know what this means but I have just learned to accept it!

 

I can not be more sincere when I say I always do my best to approach a situation with compassion. It just never seems to pay off. There's always some circumstance in the woman's life that shows its ugly face. This circustance will impact the relationship (or whateve you want to call it).

 

To answer your question, I feel like these circumstances always hinder the relationship. Yet, they are beyond my control.

 

For ONCE in my life it would be nice to meet a woman who is not an emotional basketcase and is ready to move forward with a productive and meaningful future!

 

I wish I wasn't serious but I am!!

[Star Gazer]

Peace Pipe - You're not seeing it from HER perpective. It's possible that she's still somewhat mourning the end of her previous relationship, which makes her emotionally unavailable for a new relationship. This happens, it's not unusual. Many relationships fail all on account of timing.

 

That said, in asking "Why would she give up a great guy (you) because of someone from her past that it didn't work out with?", you're assuming (1) she is in fact literally still hung up on the ex, as in wanting HIM specifically back, (2) you're 'better' than her ex, and (3) you "do it" for her [and more so than her ex].

 

In putting myself in this girl's shoes, I can totally understand why she's decided not to pursue things with you. I've dated awesome guys who either ultimately ended up being...well...jerks, or for whatever reason just didn't work out. When things were good with these guys, things were freakin' GREAT. I remember how I felt when I was with one or two of these guys - I felt all lit up inside.

 

Now, I'm not hung up on these exes, not by a long shot. But I do remember the good times, and I do remember how I felt when I was with them. I now compare new guys I meet and date to those exes, but not in the way you'd expect. I don't compare how attractive they are, or their senses of humor, or their hobbies, or other aspects of their personalities. Instead, I compare how they made me feel, how I felt when I was with them.

 

If a new guy, no matter how "great" on paper he is, doesn't make me feel as great as my exes did, or even a fraction of that greatness...well, then what does that tell me?

 

It tells me that the "great guy" is NOT the one for me. I deserve to have those butterflies, those intense moments of giddiness, to feel all lit up inside again...and so does this girl you were involved with. Unfortunately for you, you're simply not "that guy."

[Lishy]

Peace Pipe ... I think you are the reason that women become lesbian!

 

This thread is hilarious!!!!!!!! Its cheered me up to know that there are guys out there that are bigger pricks than my ex! Infact, you make my ex seem like the catch of the day !!!!!!!

[Trialbyfire]

I personally do not know many healty relationships. I would really like to see some! I wish I was kidding, but seriously, even those relationships that appear "healthy" often aren't.

 

Example: Often on party has cheated but they will put on their "game face".

 

That is just one example, so please don't exploit me there.

 

I feel that many women have abused me. I don't know what this means but I have just learned to accept it!

 

I can not be more sincere when I say I always do my best to approach a situation with compassion. It just never seems to pay off. There's always some circumstance in the woman's life that shows its ugly face. This circustance will impact the relationship (or whateve you want to call it).

 

To answer your question, I feel like these circumstances always hinder the relationship. Yet, they are beyond my control.

 

For ONCE in my life it would be nice to meet a woman who is not an emotional basketcase and is ready to move forward with a productive and meaningful future!

 

I wish I wasn't serious but I am!!

Are you looking for perfection in a woman or a relationship? If so, you'll always be chasing the end of the rainbow.

 

Every_single_person_I_know, has issues. I don't know you but with your posts, you definitely have issues. With this in mind, why do you expect more from a woman than you are able to deliver yourself?

 

Be reasonable. Don't invest too soon. The slower you take it, the more time you have to get to know someone, to gauge compatibility.

[peace_pipe]

Peace Pipe ... I think you are the reason that women become lesbian!

 

This thread is hilarious!!!!!!!! Its cheered me up to know that there are guys out there that are bigger pricks than my ex! Infact, you make my ex seem like the catch of the day !!!!!!!

 

I am a prick why? Because I amde a stand? God forbid a man stand up for himself.

 

A sfor lesbians, to each their own.

[peace_pipe]

Peace Pipe - You're not seeing it from HER perpective. It's possible that she's still somewhat mourning the end of her previous relationship, which makes her emotionally unavailable for a new relationship. This happens, it's not unusual. Many relationships fail all on account of timing.

 

That said, in asking "Why would she give up a great guy (you) because of someone from her past that it didn't work out with?", you're assuming (1) she is in fact literally still hung up on the ex, as in wanting HIM specifically back, (2) you're 'better' than her ex, and (3) you "do it" for her [and more so than her ex].

 

In putting myself in this girl's shoes, I can totally understand why she's decided not to pursue things with you. I've dated awesome guys who either ultimately ended up being...well...jerks, or for whatever reason just didn't work out. When things were good with these guys, things were freakin' GREAT. I remember how I felt when I was with one or two of these guys - I felt all lit up inside.

 

Now, I'm not hung up on these exes, not by a long shot. But I do remember the good times, and I do remember how I felt when I was with them. I now compare new guys I meet and date to those exes, but not in the way you'd expect. I don't compare how attractive they are, or their senses of humor, or their hobbies, or other aspects of their personalities. Instead, I compare how they made me feel, how I felt when I was with them.

 

If a new guy, no matter how "great" on paper he is, doesn't make me feel as great as my exes did, or even a fraction of that greatness...well, then what does that tell me?

 

It tells me that the "great guy" is NOT the one for me. I deserve to have those butterflies, those intense moments of giddiness, to feel all lit up inside again...and so does this girl you were involved with. Unfortunately for you, you're simply not "that guy."

 

What you wrote makes sense.

 

So I guess she is a liar because she said it has nothing to do with me, and she wanted to continue to date me. I didn't go for it.

 

I know she did feel all lit up inside like you described. This took a huge downturn when conversation about what we wanted took place. Like it killed everything.

 

I am not "that guy" for any woman.